|Reviews for Innocent Heart|
| sephign chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
oh-uh, what I see here is that Vivio's view on relationship is not going to be-how should I say it-same as what others would be now. Such as, it is perfectly alright for her to take two sweethearts at the same time...(ohgosh)
that aside, I still can't see how this solution will work out (I can't even imagine their sleeping arrangements, and I doubted I wanted to), unless all three parties do not have such deep feelings for any one of them. ...okay, I'm started to ramble again.
But thanks for writing the story, it's good-you've stirred up this issue and make us think if this would actually possible or not (which, I still believe will not).
| mllhild chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
Ahh, so someone wanted to show Yuuno's manly side in the omake. I expected it to be about Vivio confusing the delivery man because of having three parents and they fighting over where to put the sofa.
As always Vivio brings her parents to sweat with her questions. It would be fun if she had them forced to kiss.
A continuation of this story would be nice. Possibly with an older Vivio(yes, I'm a Vivio fan) struggling to understand how her parents manage to sustain this relationship.
| ck chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
he he when i read the title, n review from writer, seriously i was shock, cause i personally inhuman relationship, i'm really 'disgusted', so just imagine trio in 'bed', oh god i'll puke, but when i read the story, i'm really relieved, cause that crazy 'thing' at least won't happen, so it's really a good story, keep going
| SapphireOcean chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Ahem. Now that that's out of the way, I'll tell you that I read your series one right after the other.
...I loved them! I LOVED THEM. Honestly, it's a solution I've been longing to read about for quite some time. The only thing that would make it better is if Yuuno and Fate were "together" too. (but then, I'm a weirdo like that *eyes Kyo/Tohru/Yuki pairing*)
That minor bit aside, these fics just made me all squiggly inside. I faved them all _ Wonderful wonderful job
| Nanya chapter 1 . 8/16/2009
Wow, this was, VERY good. I like it a lot.
You're a dammed good writer, man.
| xXKazaneXx chapter 1 . 6/5/2009
"What? All those books Chrono makes me hunt through are heavy!"
I can definitely imagine that.
I think I just found me a new favourite pairing. YuNaFa saves all the trouble and the shipping wars. And this story was cute and made me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Good job I'd say.
| Reader458 chapter 1 . 5/22/2009
Vivio was so cute, and I can really see her being worried about this. Fate's and Yuuno's explanation was very good.
Good luck with the writing
| markesellus chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
Ah, good stuff. Is there a reason why Nanoha likes Italian food so much in your fics? Just wondering. I gotta love how you exploit Vivio's innocence for your fics. What would have been funny, was if Yuuno mentioned Syn or even Lutecia instead of that girl Jenna and then Vivio could just surprise them all with her response. ;D
| RadiantBeam chapter 1 . 2/24/2009
And third time's the charm! (I tried to review twice yesterday but I kept getting an error screen... GAH.)
Seems hard working through a regular relationship. Seems harder working through a relationship that involves three people. Throw in a little girl like Vivio, and this is what you get.
Still, it was sweet to see Vivio's insecurity about the whole issue, and it was a nice friendship moment between Yuuno and Fate as they comforted her and assured her that everything was fine. Though I would be quite amused if, after this, they wake up one day to find that they love each other as much as Nanoha... seeing as they insist so far that they're only best friends.
And your omake... ah, yes, I remember it well. Good times, good times. Yuuno with super strength. It fits him so nicely, somehow. Liked the crack about Chrono; we all know he secretly enjoys torturing Yuuno!
| Sunder the Gold chapter 1 . 2/17/2009
"Attack of the killer to-ma-toes!"
"Raising Heart! Time to make SAUCE!"
It's a little ironic that Nanoha apparently likes Italian food more than the woman who's named after an Italian car. Well, Nanoha's ALSO the one of the pair who might be a real testarossa [red-headed woman]... Heh.
The slice of life details (favorite dinners, spice bottles, burnt beef) are great as always, serving to make everything homey and human and lifelike.
Parent-to-parent telepathy is SUCH a handy child-raising tool, eh? If only.
Labor union laws to get around transportation magic as a hindrance to plot-device disaster? Clever. Strong-man Yuuno? Awesome. (Steve Urkel likewise could win arm-wrestling contests. "It comes from being forced to carry everyone's books!")
Which Mama sides with Chrono against Yuuno? Or does "mama" alone refer to both of them? *pouts theatrically* How mean!
As a technical criticism, I feel that Vivio's bombshell question should have been a line-paragraph unto itself, to aid the impact it's supposed to have on the readers (and on Fate and Yuuno, whom are supposed to be experiencing it as a record-screeching-to-a-halt moment). Adding more immediately after that seems to rush past the impact and dilute it. The rest of the current paragraph would follow separately, as so:
[Both adults blushed, but Vivio gave them no time to respond / wasn't done; she rushed onward as though a dam had broken inside. "You kiss Nanoha-mama... etc.]
I was happy to finally see this one, and I wasn't disappointed.
| James Ray Edwards chapter 1 . 2/17/2009
Ho, boy, it's me. I know. Awkward. But looking to my left and to my right, seeing no one else seems to be rushing forward either in fanboy / fangirl-ish glee to clamour over this... I bit the bullet and decided to give it a fair assessment despite my own creative bias.
From a technical side, you're pretty much solid. Characterization is also believeable, methinks, from the unpossible realistic mind set should such a scenario ever occur in real life. Naturally, human beings are raised up typically on the idea of the one and only, but we're going to totally bypass the issue of hetero- and homo- and/or the masculine and the feminine, for the sake of civilty (not to mention, this is not the proper place for debate or discussion). In doing so, the behaviors of both parties makes sense.
My only major gripe, and perhaps, this is technically unfounded bias, coming from the perspective of our respective genders, but... I find it very hard to grasp that Fate would say "Yeah, I remember..." instead of "Yes, I remember..." when you give this impression that everyone is tip toeing around on egg shells.
Of course, it's certainly not unheard of for females in general (at least in the States / the West) to use the word in casual conversation. However, since this is a noticeably strained relationship, I am of the firm sociological standing that Fate would use "Yes, I remember...". It's a kind of lame appeal on feminine vanity / lame duck politeness that's honestly loaded with tons of unspoken words / meanings.
e.g. it demonstrates she's not THAT comfortable with Yuuno, yet.
But, if it's your intent to communicate that she's actually trying to make this work, then "Yeah, I remember..." is appropriate. I don't know if Yuuno is "smart" enough to pick up on the cues, but we'll have to wait and see.
As far as entertainment value goes, it depends on where you stand with the ambiguous, open ended interpretations of the characters. Those of the lionized, radical, fundamentalist camps probably won't enjoy it very much.
As for actual conflict resolution per say, well, I am personally hoping Fate and Yuuno pull their heads out of their behinds, and really do give each other chance, 'coz seriously that's the only way this love square is gonna work out. Sticking as is ain't gonna work because sooner or later, someone's gonna get fed up, someone's not gonna want to share, play nice, etc.
Those two need to square each other away. It's not about can we make this work with Nanoha and Vivio. It's about can we come to love each other (or as you put it "be in love")? Is it possible for us to see in each other / ourselves what Nanoha and Vivio already sees? Or can it not be done...
Now remember: no pressure, here. You don't need to take anything I say worth jack. Above all else, I am a professional. It's nice when people see things in the same light I do, but at the very least, we can all agree to disagree.
That said, if there's anything you'd like to talk about, feel free to PM, e-mail, or hell, look me up on AS if you feel up to it. Yes, I'm actually over there, just a really big lurker, kinda like a giant angler fish. Big toothed, fugly, but actually kind of cute in a natural Mother nature at work marvel kind of way.
Your Friendly Neighborhood J-Easy.