|Reviews for Please, Master, May I kill her?|
| ai-08 chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
BAHAHAHAHAHA stephanie meyer needs to die a horrible death :'D
| Dimensional Nexus chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
You are awesome, I spent all weekend watching Hellsing: Ultimate and reading the manga again and have to say I feel cleansed of all the Twilight shit that people in my family, not my immediate family thank God, spout. The only time the word sparkle should be anywhere near vampires, is when it describes the gleam of a .454 shell casing ejecting as Alucard puts a bullet in Meyer. I can see Millenium's invasion again, but this time a copy of Twilight lands on the ground and the entire Last Battalion unloads their MP40s on it, followed by anderson stabbing it, Walter slicing it to pieces, and Alucard blasting it with the Jackal.
| SweetDarkSilence chapter 1 . 12/6/2009
Every time I read this oneshot I crack up laughing. I could even see once desperation sets in, Alucard approaching other species and convincing them to help with his search for Bin Laden by convincing them that once Stephenie Meyer is done with vampires, she'll turn a werewolf into a cute, harmless ball of fluff. I love this story to pieces.
| Arianna chapter 1 . 9/14/2009
Putting the fact that this is most definately a crack fic aside... I really enjoyed this. It was much more entertaining then it should be. I can almost envision an Alucard tormented over the thought of the sparkly vampire craze that swept the nation. Very good idea. *Bonus is it makes me slightly less homicidal to realize that there are other people with obvious disdain for Stephanie Meyer.*
| Random Romantasist 999 chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
YAY Twilight bashing!*-pumps fists in air-* he he
| DeathIsABishi chapter 1 . 7/31/2009
If only this would actually happen. Bin Laden for Stephenie Meyer, that would be the perfect trade. Both are representations of absolute evil.
| marora chapter 1 . 6/26/2009
God's yes! This was amazing. Let me help Alucard out. We'll find some way to get Stephanie Meyer on a plane to the U.K and he can finish it from there. Discretely of course.
| Peace91310 chapter 1 . 6/17/2009
I love it!1Its going in Favorites next to ur other stories :)
| ShadowAmunet chapter 1 . 6/8/2009
yeah, real vampires don't disintegrate in the sun instead they sparkle XD I have to agree with Alucard, and i'm assuming yourself, that the whole sparkly vampire thing is totally ridiculous. I've never read the books, glad i haven't from all of what i've heard of them, and unfortunately had the most unpleasure of watching the movie. they were like the diamond girl on X-Men Origins. but seriously. I actually heard someone remark that it was like someone's teenaged fantasies about vampires. I'm guessing for it to be more close to one without having to conform to the good old traditional vampiric habits. still. whatever. sorry for the rant. I understand your pain, in my own way of course and i didn't even read the books. if the movie makes me wanna throw up i can only imagine what the books would have done to me. anyway sorry for the confessional. Really great "crack" fic as you call it. Had to read this one to read it's continuation.
Happy Writing _
| ahilty chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
Glad to see I am not the only one who hates Twiblight with fiery burning passion.
| Lion in the Land chapter 1 . 5/27/2009
Ha ha. That was great! I love me a good rant, and who better to do it than Alucard? '“She wrote another one!” The vampire exclaimed. “Another one!”' That was so precious. I could just feel his despair at this seemingly unstoppable woman demeaning his kind.
It was such a great move to have him comment on how the books are making it easier for him to find victims. Actually inviting him in! "Ooh, bite me."
But the best has to be the title of this thing. Perfect.
Thanks for the fun!
| Namain.West chapter 1 . 5/11/2009
I’m glad there's someone else out there who thinks ‘that’ series is a total lackluster hit. Unfortunately for me I actually bought the first book. A lady friend of mine recommended it to me. Alas I couldn’t bear reading it halfway through and was seriously tempted to chuck it into my fireplace. It would have kept the fire going at the very least. I like your portrayal of Alucard and the personal offence he suffers because of ‘that’ series. Honestly though. Glitter? And Bella gets pregers? Gag me with a spoon. Oh why do I have to live so 'close' to that town?
| Jabberwalk chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
I. Love. You.
Thank you for writing this, so very very much.
| Jigoku no Yami chapter 1 . 3/15/2009
Crack is awsome! Why dont you continue this? With your way of writting it would be awsomnely funny.
| WhiteWizard101 chapter 1 . 3/14/2009
Oh please! I begging you to continue this!