|Reviews for End of the Innocence|
| PADavis chapter 5 . 4/7/2009
I'm really enjoying your take on young Dean - and I like your Pastor Jim very much. Now, like half the other reviewers out there: Yow - did Dean wound or kill the man? Looking forward to the next chapter!
| SeraphimXII chapter 5 . 4/7/2009
So cool! XD
I can't wait until the
next chapter! Update sooN!
| irismay42 chapter 5 . 3/30/2009
Damn, you can't leave it like that! Did Munchkin!Dean shoot the guy or not?
I really liked the contrast you drew between the beginning of the chapter when Dean is child-like and happy, and the end, where he's desperately trying to be the responsible adult, right down to paying for Sam's candy himself rather than asking Dad for money. Even there we can see how protective Dean is towards Sam, but nothing really prepares you for him defending his brother with a gun when he feels he's in danger.
Whew. Great ending!
| adder574 chapter 5 . 3/30/2009
Amazing update BJ. It was good to see Dean getting to act like a kid about the pancakes, and to gain so much confidence in himself when he helped his father with the hunt.
Did Dean actually shoot the man? I really hope he didn't, or if hd did, he only nicked him. It would have been aweful for Dean to kill a man a 10.
I', really looking forward to reading the next part.
| pandora jazz chapter 5 . 3/29/2009
This chapter has always been one of my favorites.
You have so many different layers of Dean in it. The beginning of the chapter, for a bit, we get to see Dean as just an excited kid wanting pancakes, later he is his fathers partner working a hunt and finally a big brother taking care of Sammy, willing to do anything to protect him, even kill.
Thanks again for sharing your story with us.
It's been awhile, I'll drop you a note soon.
| livelongprosper2012 chapter 5 . 3/29/2009
this story is just killing me. Painful, really. But I suppose this was how Dean's childhood was in a way. Sad.. But great story, nonetheless. Great job!
| SamDeanLover28 chapter 5 . 3/29/2009
| annie200 chapter 4 . 3/21/2009
“Dean? Am I a soldier?”
Dean gazed into huge, worried eyes, too young to understand all the ramifications of that statement, too young to realize the cost. “Not yet, Sammy. You can be a kid for a while, you still got time.
This broke my heart, because it's already too late for Dean. I could have smacked John in this chapter, preparing a young boy to take over in case he gets himself killed. I know John means well, but sometimes...
| heartfallen chapter 4 . 3/20/2009
This is so heart wrenching. Excellent story.
| irismay42 chapter 4 . 3/18/2009
To say you wrote this before ITB aired, there's some interesting pre-figuring of whether Mary would have wanted her boys to live this life. I also liked the way you wrote John as forceful and determined without him coming off as a complete scumbag!
Once again I mourn the too-swift passing of Pastor Jim though. He could have been a great character had the show given him the chance!
| adder574 chapter 4 . 3/17/2009
John is such a fascinating character and I love the way you portray him. Reading the words here it would be so easy to despise John and write him off as a bad father, yet thats not the feeling I get.
In many ways John is so lost. He truly thinks this is what he needs to keep his son's alive, yet you can tell he loves them more than everything. We got proof of that in In My Time of Dying.
Such an awesome chapter Bj and I can't wait to read the next one.
| pandora jazz chapter 4 . 3/16/2009
Kinda hard to like John in this chapter, because he makes us feel so sorry for Dean.
No wonder Dean grows up hiding emotions, (except with those eyes), he continues to try and please his father even as an adult.
Enjoying the revisit to your story.
Until next time, hope all is well and take care.
| SamDeanLover28 chapter 4 . 3/16/2009
| JazzyIrish chapter 3 . 3/15/2009
Wow, BJ, great story. My heart literally breaks for "Little Boy Dean" :( So young to have so much responsibility - watch Sammy, be prepared at all times, training, learning Latin, making bullets. It really boggles the mind.
In the first chapter, I didn't guess that "the creature" was a deer until the clearing. Great job in building the tension, showing how important this first hunt was to Dean. I think part of Dean's reaction was that he didn't kill something evil, just an innocent animal that struggled to live. And then Sammy wants him to read and re-read "Bambi" - that's just cruel. ;)
Loved all the background you gave us on Dean - from his trying to scrub off his freckles, *curses*, his memories of his mom, to all of his beliefs about himself and his family. The conversation with Pastor Jim was heart-wrenching. And what's worse, is that I can totally see that conversation taking place. Dean has been so damaged by his father's expectations and orders; his self-worth already being eradicated. Dean only focuses on what he sees as "his job" - taking care of his father and Sammy. That is so sad for an eleven-year-old boy. This is the main reason I get so mad at John - no one should ever raise a child like that for any reason. I'm so glad that in DALDOM, Dean finally admits to feeling that.
Loved your portrayal of Sammy - loving Dean - no, worshipping his big brother who can do no wrong. Boy, what we wouldn't all give now to get a little of that back in Sam. :( (I'm telling you this show is going to kill me!)
I'm not sure what you may have "tweaked" along the way, but this story is extremely well-written. I do love how you get into Dean's head. Looking forward to the next chapters. Until next time...
| adder574 chapter 3 . 3/7/2009
Sorry this review is so late, Dean really breaks your heart doesn't he. Doesn't matter what age he is. It had to be tough trying to be an adult at the age of 10. Dean does deserve to be a kid. Awesome update date Bj, and I can't wait until the next one.