|Reviews for Deserter, Failure, Betrayer|
| ElfIcarii chapter 11 . 1/21/2004
Why would Marana going missing make Rayel feel guilty? I don't get that part.
| ElfIcarii chapter 10 . 1/21/2004
Ok, I don't think you ever said this, because I was just as confused at the beginning of the story on this subject...but what did Rayel DO just before the story takes place, that she was so desperate not to think about and that ruined her friendship?
| ElfIcarii chapter 8 . 1/21/2004
You know, your writing style in this story almost exactly matches that of the parts you claim not to have written...
| ElfIcarii chapter 5 . 1/19/2004
Oh god...ths fic is really making me cry...You are a master emotion twister, you know that?
| ElfIcarii chapter 4 . 1/19/2004
Ok, I am now crying...*sniff*...You are doing a really good job on this fic...
| ElfIcarii chapter 1 . 1/19/2004
Looks good...but then you said you didn't write this, so I will reserve judgement. One thing I've noticed and the other two of your stories I 've read-you don't put in disclaimers. According to the agreement we all agreed to, you have to put them in each and every story. If you don't, there are some people who will report you. I wouldn't, I'm not that sort of person...I'm just warning you before someone else notices.
| Atiaran chapter 1 . 9/1/2003
Excellent job. I have a weakness for Accepted stories, so I really liked this. I particularly found the final arch, where Rayel sees herself as Black Ajah, to be especially chilling-seeing herself becoming the epitome of everything she hates. Good job!
| Iolo chapter 11 . 8/14/2003
Well, I've read your piece in its entirety, and I'm now at a loss as to what to type in this little review area.
It's very much unlike me to write something as vague as 'I really love this fic.', but that's basically what it boils down to, I'm afraid.
It genuinely is very, very good.
No, not just good: entertaining, foreboding, horrifying, intriguing, provocative...I could go on, but I don't want to monopolise too much space.
Here's the basic gist: I found the main character to be a very interesting, and disturbing, protagonist.
I also found the peripheral characters believable and the dialogue essentially flawless.
The storyline was fluid yet evocative, and the scenarios imaginative (I particularly enjoyed the dark horror of chapter five).
The only virtually inconsequential gripes I have are with the usage of certain terms such as 'tuned in' and 'teenaged', which I found jarred with the antiquated feel of the rest of the piece.
Apart from that, I'm gripe free.
This is a truly stand-apart fic., and I hope you submit more of your thoroughly accomplished work in this section.
| Sammy-Jo chapter 11 . 6/7/2003
You definately have a talent in writing. The second arch confused me majorly, but the first and third were understandable enough. Kind of sad, but like I said, you do have a talent, you are creative, and burn me if you can't write. Sorry. I've always wanted to use some WoT dialect. Hehehe ok enough of that. But tell me what you mean by your "training" at the Shining Walls to advance your character? Little things like that really catch my attention, and it looks interesting. Please email me with what it is it sounds really cool.
I think I'm gonna read some others of your fics :). Keep writing!
| Bryne Payne chapter 11 . 4/21/2002
Very very compelling, I salute the creativity and detail poured into this fic. Personally I wouldn't have blinked twice if it showed up in a WoT novel... But these are just my humble opinions.
| Little Teapot chapter 10 . 3/13/2002
Oh my gosh! You've read WoT too! At my school, like no one I know has read it. ANd the only reason they know of it is becuase I've told them about it. How awesome is it! So cool. How funny is Mat. Oh my, do you like Perrin, I don't, not really. My favourite's Rand, then Mat.
Anyways, cool story.
| redloserpaw chapter 10 . 3/3/2002
I've reread it and I'm still confused (annoying, ain't it?), but you would expect that from me. I still think it's a fabulous read, though.
| redloserpaw chapter 10 . 2/25/2002
Quite a sad ending... well I thought it to be.
Beautifully written. Alright, you and me both are sick of me constantly writing 'beautiful' in your reviews, so... ~whips out the thesaurus~
I think you write pulchritudinously.
Once again, I'm not one to criticise on it. But from my perspective, I think it's great, the only downside being my damn confusion from not understanding, despite your help. Anyway, well done! Great big gold star sticker for you!
| redloserpaw chapter 7 . 2/25/2002
Oh! She's on the evil sidE?
the tension really built up on the ch6-7 mark. my eyes couldn't catch up with my reading and so most likely missed several major parts. fabulous!
| Zelin Danica Nynaeve Ni'karin chapter 1 . 2/10/2002
That was pretty good. Ever thought about righting humor for WOT? Thank's for reviewing mine!