|Reviews for Her Clown Prince|
| Naheniel chapter 1 . 2/25/2009
Okay, first of all I should tell you that I have neither seen the Joker-movie, nor have I read this poem you mentioned.
I think the point that you are writing a parody doesnt show. Or llets rather say: For me this isnt a parody. Parodys should be "funny" and deal with some original object. I can see you dealing with Batman or Joker, but I dont quite get the part where this is supposed to be a parody.
That doesnt mean it is a bad poem, its just not a parody.
As i have not the slightest ideas with poems I will talk about each paragraph and tell you what I think of it.
1.) This one was really nice and I could follow you without problems, I think the first line seemed a bit choppy but other than that it was nice.
2.) The same goes for the second paragraph, I liked the descriptions, even though the fact that it was in rhymes is a bit awkward. It was still overall nice.
What hit me out of the flow here was the repeating of the chuckle, it somehow is really odd with the rest. Its like those lines were too much and not needed more than once.
3.) This one confused me. This stealer you are talking of, is it supposed to be Joker? Because if so you should indicate it somehow, and if not as well. Why? Because later in that paragraph you are talking about them (who?) being soulmates and learning from one another. Its a bit confusing as I am not sure if the later He is another person than Joker (because I would connect this He with the stealer from the second line).
4.) That one was fine!
5.) Well you really got me out of flow again with line 4 and 5 they sound odd together. Its like the chuckling in the other paragraph.
I like the narratives but the whole thing seems a bit odd to me. Might be because I almost never read poems but it might be the case with some readers as well, as you did not get reviews so far? Just a guess though.
Even though I was confused at some points I like you writing!