|Reviews for Beneath It|
| Karakuri chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
I can't review this properly as I haven't played the game yet (I'm afraid if I do, I'll have no life for the next week, lol). But...it makes me really want to play.
I love the idea of these secret liaisons between the hero and villain. The idea of a fucked up relationship that people around would be horrified to discover. So hot.
The only constructive crit I can give is the language - you can make it sound a lot more polished e.g.
"Either way, Kefka will win the little game he's playing, a game Leo is nothing but a pawn in."
Could be improved to:
"Either way, Kefka will win the little game he's playing, a game in which Leo is nothing but a pawn."
Sentences carry more gravity and finality if you end them with the most important words.
Other than that...well, I'll have to get to know the charas properly. Thanks for writing!
Btw...Mazoku? You're not a XelFil fan are you? If so we share the same tastes! ;)
| Orion chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
THANK YOU! why does no one else write kefka fics? he's my favorite villan. good story!
| WordMouse chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
That was jut #%$ing great. Best Damn FFVI fiction I've read in a long time.