Reviews for Hands on Me
SunriseImagination chapter 86 . 10/23
Overall your story is really well done. The way you had them slowly fall in love was perfect and the premise of your story was great. It gave the perfect opportunity for nessie and jacob to fall in love without dad overhearing every thought... awkward.

My only critique was in my last review. You helped resolve it in the final chapter but i still stand by the fact that that scene was a punishment not a consentual act.

The thing that would make this story become worthy of sitting next to breaking dawn on the shelf would be a little action. Why did you exclude the action scenes? Why didnt the tracker almost get them in california? Why wasnt there a true get-away chase scene?
Then when that didnt happen... you bring up a war and i was like yes! Heres the climax of the story... but no. Nessie the narrator was stuck at the house... a true twilight book would have had that action scene included with the romance drama. So close to perfection.
SunriseImagination chapter 84 . 10/23
I disagree that the spanking was consentual. She allowed it yes... but allowing something is not the same as consenting when it comes to sex. You brush it off as "instincts" and i trust that in your mind as the writer it is completely true but the way you have been writing the story does not set this up as consentual. She never agreed to be punished by spanking for lying. She might like to be spanked and could ask him to spank her harder in a sexual contex. That would be consentual. but the last scene was a punishment the way it is written. Im dissapointed because everything you had written up to that point was so on character. Im going to attempt to overlook that lapse of judgement and finish reading the last few chapters.
little miss free chapter 2 . 6/10
Omg your a muslim too! I cant believe its already the month of ramadan...
Epic FacePalm chapter 28 . 6/9
Roaring Laughter
This is puppy love, so childish it's funny again.
laquaisha14 chapter 30 . 5/23
, MGM GB
laquaisha14 chapter 30 . 5/23
, MGM GB
Guest chapter 83 . 5/19
I hope you have grown up since you wrote this chapter, and I hope you know it was not Okay, not appropriate at all—not even for a mature audience.
Guest chapter 66 . 5/13
The "my Jacob" shit is annoying. Renesmee is annoying.
laquaisha14 chapter 9 . 4/25
NJ loop
peanut3butter chapter 86 . 3/22
Are you going to post the sequel? You have to post it please please pleaseeeeee! I love this story, and I would really like to see how Nessie's pregnancy goes
S.L jacob chapter 54 . 3/1
ؤ عءءم لد*
Anon chapter 76 . 2/28
I understand the telling important things when the time is right, but keeping something huge for weeks is taxing.
Anon chapter 69 . 2/28
They could do a CT scan on Jake's back. After all his skin isn't stone-like.
Anon chapter 63 . 2/28
I really love the contrast between Nessie now and the beginning of the story, you really made her slowly mature.
Anon chapter 62 . 2/28
The sneak peak in this chapter is absolutely evil. Jacob cannot die!
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