Reviews for The Vampire in the Basement
Pixie's Mama chapter 32 . 2/8/2013
Ummm... How did the Cullens get Edward out of his cell?
Renee Aubin chapter 23 . 2/6/2013
Oh no, Bella starts having nightmares where “they” have Edward. Shudder.

Shaking my head over the direction dinner with Charlie took. Bella really was brave to even admit it had anything to do with “a boy”. Aww, how sad: ‘As much as I wished it was different, I knew implicitly that there was no way my dad would ever meet my vampire. None.’

Well, she’s being realistic: ‘If they had captured Edward and all of those other vampires, of course they could capture the Cullens too.’ No wonder she has nightmares.

The scene where Bella is soaking wet and cold, and wants to take a shower with Edward but can’t decide whether he even understands her intent … so amusing. ‘I wish I could say it felt sexy, or at the very least comfortable, but I, Bella Swan, do not make a habit out of showering with boys, and it was definitely awkward.’ Wonderful. And the way it turned out: ‘We stood there, our eyes closed and our lips just centimeters apart, his arms wrapped around my shoulders and my fingers trailing up and down his back. And I truly think it was probably the best moment of my entire life.’ Aww.

Oh, I didn’t even think about vampire hearing – all of them heard when Edward told Bella his story! In a way that’s a great thing, because he never has to repeat it. On the other hand, every time someone thinks about it in his presence…

Wow – the Denalis found a vampire in a similar condition, but didn’t have anyone who could make a connection with her. And eventually ‘the sisters put an end to the vampire's suffering.’ Shudder. Is it a coincidence that she was left near another vegetarian coven? Or is it just a permanent settlement?

This is a good point: Alice distracts her mind with nonsense to hide her thoughts from Edward, but while ‘It seemed to work, to an extent, although it hampered her ability to interact with us.’ It sure would.

Excellent interaction between Jasper and Alice, trying to help her cope with a vision that was terrifying her. I feel so bad for both of them when he urges her to keep looking, but "I can't look, Jasper. I don't want to know. I don't want to know what they're going to do to him!" Of course she doesn’t - what a dilemma.

I’m so glad I’m reading it (this time) when the whole story is finished. I might chew my nails off anyway!
M474 chapter 32 . 1/31/2013
That was great! Such an interesting and unique storyline, and very well thought out. I really enjoyed this. Thank you so much.
Renee Aubin chapter 22 . 1/30/2013
Well done, how carefully they both work their way toward a future together. ‘His eyes looked hopeless; lost. Almost as if there was a part of him that actually expected a rejection.’ But on her part she blows up any hesitation from him into having misread every positive sign he’s ever given her … Makes sense that both of them would be very cautious. A solid foundation, and confidence in one another, will be slow to build.

Cute: ‘In the back of my mind there were thoughts of teeth somehow associated with danger, but my brain wasn't working quite right in that moment, and I couldn't for the life of me bring myself to hold back.’

Poor Cullens: ‘The living room felt eerily quiet, as I suspected it would; as it was every time a drop of my blood was shed.’ This has to be a pretty regular fire drill. Interesting that Edward is worried about Bella being around Carlisle. Aww, he’s so brave on her behalf.

I did have to snicker when Bella half-tuned out Carlisle’s lecture about safety around Edward.

‘So far, everything between us had come so naturally, I hardly even realized that I was actually making a connection with a human male. … Six weeks ago I wasn't even looking at the opposite sex.’ So Edward’s not the only one stretching his comfort zone.

When Edward has to confront the bracelet, ‘He looked back to me, his eyes wide and deep and open. I felt as though he was, for the first time, actually opening himself up to me. The vulnerability in his eyes told me I trust you, and not I surrender.’ Wow.

Oh my God, what a story. I entirely sympathize with Bella wishing she didn’t have to hear it, but I’m glad she was brave enough to let him get it out.

That man who pretended to be kind, but had ‘the greatest plans for me out of anyone who I ever learned to be in charge…’ No wonder Aro freaked him out: “…he gets that same look in his eye..." Horrifying that Edward ripped open his own body trying to remove the device. And the part about the isolation, wondering if he had been abandoned for eternity. Shudder.

Right now he must feel like he’s emotionally starting at square one again. Those memories will be vibrating in every cell of his body for a while. But it has to feel better that at least Bella knows a bit of his story and isn’t going anywhere.
M474 chapter 24 . 1/30/2013
that was awesome! well, not most of it, that part sucks, but yay for hunting disgusting deer! weeee
M474 chapter 20 . 1/30/2013
that was amazing! omgggggggggg one of the best first kisses I've ever read!

thank you
M474 chapter 15 . 1/30/2013
oh! holy shit, welp.
M474 chapter 12 . 1/30/2013
ohhhh! he spoke, but it was so sad. poor baby, I want to comfort him too. love it
M474 chapter 4 . 1/29/2013
I have no idea why it's taken me so damn long to start this, but it's wonderful so far.

Thank you.
Kamizune chapter 32 . 1/27/2013
A fantastic story. Got me hooked from page 1 to the end. I'd love to read more of it. Vote for sequel...

Thank you very much
Renee Aubin chapter 21 . 1/26/2013
Enjoyed Alice’s thoughts about what might happen between B&E: ‘I watched the scenarios play out and flip flop and naturally shift as Bella warred against her hormones to keep herself in check… her blushes and awkward giggles, her increased heart rate, her flirtatious gestures, and her complete inability to let a freaking centimeter lie between them alerted him to her desires.’ Encouraging, really, that Alice hadn’t seen anything that scared her. And sweet that to her the bottom line is that her friend ‘who, two months ago, wouldn't even give boys a second look, was in love.’

Nice detail about how Alice obsessively weighs what would be the exact best moment to tell Bella about her vision. Of course she would. Enjoyed this thought from Bella: ‘‘Alice had been her creepy ominous self last night…’

Poor Jasper, taking the brunt of Edward’s mistrust when he didn’t deserve that at all.

Impressive that Edward pushes himself hard to try drinking the blood. Carlisle was so good with him.

Oh my gosh, shivery when Edward says that there was a man who left him in the woods. Carlisle must be right that he was intended to be found by the Cullens. "I don't… remember much. I wasn't completely… there.” Shudder.

‘I tried to keep myself calm while Alice got through her visions.’ How aggravating! ‘I wanted to rip my hair out. I wanted to rip her hair out.’

‘I would get to spend forever and ever with Edward, and he wouldn't be able to stop me. I'd be strong enough to protect him, and I'd be strong enough to keep my feet planted firmly at his side.’ Yaay … and then Charlie comes home, putting her face to face with the cost of this choice. Poignant speculation whether she will have to be turned this very night.

I enjoyed these sly references back to canon: ‘I daydreamed of Edward sneaking in through my window and looking through my books.’ ‘I could be diving off a cliff into oblivion.’ ‘And this was what I wanted. What I dreamed of.’ [becoming a monster, in canon Edward’s phrase]

Charming walk outside. Honestly, after the recent harrowing chapters I was expecting them to encounter something nasty in the woods! But instead, lovely final thoughts: ‘Because, although the decision to be changed had been taken out of my hands prematurely, it didn't change things in the long run. This was always my choice. And I chose Edward. Every time.’ Sigh.
Renee Aubin chapter 20 . 1/25/2013
‘He had waited for me, outside, by himself, and was now standing amidst a downpour to meet me halfway.’ Considering what the Volturi put him through, the fact that he’s ambulatory is amazing.

Such lovely moments: ‘I pressed myself flat against him and could have died when his arms encircled my shoulders. His face found the nape of my neck and I smiled against his chest. Kiss or no kiss, the new plan was that I would never let go of him again.’

Hmm, good that she thinks about that he hasn’t had exposure to kisses, certainly in 90 years and who knows before that? ‘He would think I was attacking him, no doubt.’ I’m guessing he would get over it quickly! I enjoyed though, how she just can’t drop the undercurrent of wanting to kiss him.

"Hey," I whispered. Immediately, he came back to me, his eyes lost and frightened and… sad. Really sad.’ Sniffle. Oh jeez: "Everything… that I've been trying not to see…" he swallowed and clenched his eyes shut. "… I saw." Thanks so much, Aro.

Oh my goodness, he asks her what made her risk approaching him! He seems to have gained a better understanding of what he is, how dangerous he is. Wonderful that he appreciates how much courage it took from her. Love her answer: "What else could I do?" And no wonder she panics when he asks whether she might be better off if he left.

She’s just as honest when he says "I need to know," he began quietly, his fingers shaking around mine, "what you're thinking." Brave girl. ‘I knew it was the truth. It was real and scary and I had no idea why, but it was me. And it was us.’ You did a good job with the way her mind spun while she waited for his reaction. Nasty thought: ‘Could I really have imposed myself on him without his consent and mistaken his permissiveness for love?’

A touching detail, when he’s telling her about Jane: ‘I started to pull back so that I could look at his face, but he moved his arm to my shoulder and held me to him.‘ But I just want to throttle that red-eyed pipsqueak that she had already decided to find an excuse to torture him.

Interesting that the Volturi didn’t find out about Edward’s gift!

This is so creepy: ‘Even the Cullens, after they found out, didn't succeed in changing their thoughts. But Aro… he was different. He was hiding his intentions, his motivations. He was lying through his thoughts… and it was petrifying."’ Without even knowing he was being heard! The vilest human couldn’t reproduce the layers of deception and intrigue that are now second nature to Aro.

How horrifying, when Jane attacked him “And suddenly I found myself… in a room, on a table…" It didn’t occur to me that he could be swallowed by a flashback, shudder. “I thought I had slept… that none of it had been real." Oh, he means his time with the Cullens … and then it turns out that Esme’s brave intervention actually did help, convinced him he hadn’t imagined them, and Bella.

Your Bella has a charming undercurrent of ironic humor in her thoughts – thank goodness. ‘I was decidedly glad that he knew that I loved him. I hadn't been doing a great job keeping it a secret before…’

Perfect use of the classic line "I wanted to try something." Followed by Bella’s thought: ‘God, I hope he wanted to try what I wanted him to try.’ I’m smiling. Lovely: ‘…the world disappeared around me in the moment that his lips met mine. … There was no rigid muscle versus malleable skin, no chilled granite versus warm flesh, no indestructible and strong versus breakable and weak. There was just me and him, and it was ecstasy.’ And then he smiles – sigh.

Wonderful conclusion: ‘I touched my fingertips to my mouth and somehow managed to hold in the squeal of excitement until Alice and I were safely in the car. I'm sure he heard it anyway.’

Other favorite lines:

‘His t-shirt stuck to his body and I eyed him appreciatively. I needed to get him in the rain more often.’

‘He was alive, in one piece, and at the house. If I knew anything, it was not to take this for granted.’

‘The gooey, gushy butterflies would have to wait.’
Alice's White Rabbit chapter 32 . 1/22/2013
I am finally playing catch-up with some of the oldies but goodies; the Twilight fanfic classics. Just got finished reading this story this morning. What an amazing tale this was. So, different; so creative. Your characters were so endearing. I loved how Bella was so fearless from the beginning with Edward. And, underneath all his fear, he trusted her from the beginning as well. I loved the slow return to health for Edward. And, with that, his eventual trust of the rest of the Cullens.

There were many ups and downs throughout the story that had my heart pounding. But, none more that the last few chapters. I seriously thought you were not going to have Edward survive at the end. I was so relieved that he did. That they got there HEA even if Bella's was tempered wit her having to give up Charlie.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale. It was a great journey.

Renee Aubin chapter 19 . 1/17/2013
For some reason I noticed that I had stopped reviewing this fabulous story after Chapter 18, over a year ago. Talk about getting distracted! I was so grateful when you resumed writing after a long hiatus and finished the story, so I feel I at least owe you a complete set of reviews.

I’m glad Bella understands this: ‘If it came to a fight or worse, my presence would only be a handicap.’ Book Bella never seemed to get it. I have to keep reminding myself that this Bella has no experience of the Volturi. And just in case I haven’t said it before – I love, love, love the relationships this Bella has had a chance to build with the Cullens.

What awful thoughts: ‘This would be the last time I would see him before I left. This could be the last time I would see him ever.’ I like that for the last week she has only focused on making him feel secure and loved, not on “making progress”. ‘I couldn't afford to risk whatever sanctuary he had in me. To risk whatever sanctuary I had in us.’ Sniffle.

Loved her response when he casually lays his hand on her thigh: ‘I knew it was too much to hope that he had missed my automatic response and I could feel my face heating up. I kept my eyes closed for several seconds, wishing I was dead or dreaming.’ But then ‘I was way beyond okay.’ I bet.

Well said: ‘I knew if I spoke I would beg, and I knew it would do nothing but make this night less magical.’ So sweet how she spends her time just gently caressing him. The most direct way of communicating her feelings.

This is heartwrenching, when the moment to leave for the airport arrives: "If you want me to stay, tell me. …Tell me, and I'll find a way." And then how perfect is he: ‘"You can't stay," he whispered, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "It's not… it's not safe."’ That’s what matters most to him, no matter what he might desperately want for himself.

Poor Carlisle. Sometimes it’s really difficult to be the dad. The arrival of the Volturi was so well described – made me grateful that I wasn’t there! Your Aro is perfectly done, too: ‘I don't have eternity." He chuckled at his joke’. But ugh, when Aro suggests they should take Edward to Italy!

Creepy that Carlisle feels he has to get Aro’s permission to stay with Edward in his own house. ‘I could see all the unresolved fear of the past ninety years. … His security blanket was gone and he needed it back.’ That whole scene with Aro and the Guard and Edward was sooo intense. I couldn’t believe that Jane actually attacked and Aro didn’t stop her, but then it’s a lot like the NM scene. ‘[Esme] had never once touched Edward, but in that moment, she ran to him as she would any of our sons and forced him against her.’ Go, Esme! Carlisle is so impressive: ‘I knew that any longer and everything that had been done so far would be undone, and I had a promise to keep.’ And then he jumps between Jane and Edward. Yikes.

Hard to think of any better way to do this than to have Carlisle restrain Edward from behind while Aro touches him. Astonishing when ‘it only took a split second for Aro to pull back’, and he has to collect himself for another try. With all he has seen (and done himself), how horrific the memories had to be! Good detail, an extra layer of complication: ‘Edward was shaking, too, no doubt as he watched his own history play out in Aro's mind.’ Ugh. And oh no, ‘[Edward] was losing the drive to fight me, and that thought petrified me.’ It’s so easy to imagine him withdrawing into a black hole and never coming out again. After Aro leaves, ‘instead of pulling away, Edward closed his eyes and let his head fall against my chest, his breathing heavy with anxiety.’ Wow.

OMG, Jane accuses Carlisle of being the one who hurt Edward?! What is that girl smoking?

I hadn’t thought of the fact that Aro’s gift would allow him to efficiently pull information out of Edward’s memory. Well done. But what a horrifying picture. Edward’s question several chapters ago about administering venom with a syringe comes back into sharp relief now. Shudder.

It occurs to me, though, that with Edward’s decades of experience enduring unimaginable torture and isolation, he might manage the encounter with the Volturi better than the Cullens imagine.

Excellent use of Alice proving to Aro that Bella will become a vampire. ‘“You've seen how hard we've tried to change it, and it doesn't change. It just doesn't," she answered.’
Excellent, too, what she says to Aro’s recruiting pitch: ‘"I'd love to have someone like you on our side of things."
"We are on your side, Aro," Alice replied.’
Somehow I doubt that he's satisfied.

What a relief when they finally drive away!

Poor Bella, ‘I just couldn't bring myself to answer [her mother] with enthusiasm. Because every single thing I could think to say made me think of my vampire, and my vampire was thousands of miles away.’ I enjoyed that she’s so impatient to get back to him that ‘Once upon a time, eighty miles an hour would give me a panic attack. Now, I wondered what this car maxed out at.’

Oh my gosh, Edward is waiting for her on the porch! Did not expect that.

Other favorite lines:

‘At every turn, there was a roadblock in the form of Alice Cullen.’

‘I don't know when I became such a girl; never before had I cared about what I looked like.’

Wow I feel like I’ve been through the wringer! I can't imagine the energy and endurance that went into writing this.
fangrl01 chapter 32 . 1/15/2013
I really enjoyed your telling of this story. Very complex and a fine unique version.
11,500 | « Prev Page 1 .. 11 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 31 .. Last Next »