please write more. I really love this story!

So many twists and turns packed into just 7 chapters. Dang

Gosh this is such a good fic

Why is it that whenever I find a good fanfiction, its last update is in the 2000s? D:
Welp I must like pain because I'm reading regardless

Hey~! I mostly lurked on here in my younger years but after watching the new Murder On the Orient Express I just wanted to drop by to say that this is actually one of my fave DN fics - perhaps one of my fave fics, period. And I was never a big nerd about detective stories so this fic actually preceded my actual knowledge of Dupin and Poirot in a literary sense, oh dear. But having studied and graduated from a writing course myself, now, I just thought I'd point out that I figured out why I like this story so much - it's totally meta and postmodern, in a way that almost reminds me of Borges's commentaries on fictional novels in "Ficciones", like the way he'd rather summarise and dissect potential stories than write those stories themselves. This kind of Inception-esque type of embedded narratives is p fucking cool, even without the fact that the mise en abyme here is referencing an actual existing IP (the DN series itself). I guess tldr I'm saying that there's a huge potential to this story and you should consider adapting it into original fiction and publishing it someday?

buenisimo!, espero no te olvides de terminarla, o B aparecerá por tu casa XDD, besitos, cuidate!

Noooooooooo!1 One more chapter! Plssss!

Okay first of all I do not care that I'm writing a review on a six year old story of yours, nor do I care if there's a unlikely possibly of you reading this or not (frankly I could care less if you bother to take the time and effort to read my ramblings). I just need to write my buzzing thoughts in words and extract them from swirling chaotically around in my head; causing me to get a headache and increase my frustration induced dissatisfaction.

This had the potential to be an very-well thought out, innovative, and superb story. But instead while you did have a very creative idea, very great creative writing skills, and knowledge of how to write humor well; the utter confusion of what the hell's going on, the complete unnecessarily of trying to forcefully cram all the Death Note characters into this one story just because you wanted to, and the unfortunate consequential byproduct of complexity that was caused by your selfishness and other lack of care for what that selfishness could cause to your story, because all you cared about was getting your way, right?

There are some things in this story that I really liked though. The unique new twist of L's character was intriguing. I loved how you shred a new light on his personality. But it did take awhile getting use to these new traits of L's, I was like "No! L is suppose to love sweets! How is it possible L noting like sugar in his coffee? Has the world ended?! No it must be an imposter.. L would never pass up the opportunity to eat something even remotely sweet ever." and "WHAT? Lawliet wearing shoes and socks and anything other than a white sweat-shirt and denim blue jeans? Impossible there must be a mistake..." and "L's sitting normal, and not in his favorite fatal position? Why's the sky blue again?", but eventually I adapted to his.. changes, but except the smoking obsession I never got use that.

As I mentioned before you can write humor very well and you know when the right times to use it are. I soaked up L's cryptic and eccentric humor like a sponge does rainwater. And Light's reactions to L's oddities and condescending yet teasing nature is gold I quite enjoyed them and was amused.

I also loved the relationship L and Light had in this. I never liked Kira, so I immensely enjoy any fanfiction with an innocent Light and L being true friends.

But once Light finds the notebook in his dresser drawer the story just goes downhill. Before BB I thought either Misa, Mikami, or Tadaka being the murder seemed possible and logical. But once Light somehow magically remember about the notebook and discovered that somehow L's not even real logic and commonsense is thrown out the window and are completely ignored for the rest of the story. And why? All because the author wanted to have everyone in this story so decided to fuck realism and make up this sloppy, stupid, and unoriginal story with Light being Haruhi Suzumiya. Because of this confusion and illogical complexity follows the reader until the end. Now a story being intricate is not bad that all, but when no one who's reading doesn't know what the hell's going in the plot or story anymore then it's wrong.

I really wanted to like this story. but with all these problems I just can't. I did 100% love this story until chapter 5 tho and I just wish it could have been amazing and better, but alas I enjoyed what I got.

Overall: 5.6/10

This is the first official comment on this fic for the 2016 :-) I hope that the thought that your amazing story still gets new fans encourages you to complete it some time in the future ;)
PS I would really appreciate it if you could :-) and anyway kudos for your ingenious plot, loved it! .

Damn it! And I thought Mikami would be the killer!

Oooh, I'd been something along the lines of this all being a coma dream in Light's head after his accident, with L representing his detective fiction ideal detective and muse, sort of an embodiment of the part of the mystery writer that's the detective, and because in writing detective fiction a portion of Light's mind has to represent the criminal as well as the detective, the criminal in this case is 'Kira', but it all seems a lot more complicated than that. I shall keep on puzzling!

countinue please I want to read more of this I really like it

countinue please I want to read more

Honestly, you should be an independent author. This is really a genius plot. But if you write this in the future, please do remember the yaoi goodness. I beg you. T_T

Great story! I hope you eventually continue it!