|Reviews for Sitra Ahra|
| Satchit chapter 30 . 7/4
Your story is remarkable in its plot and impressive in its depth. However, I find certain characters a little unbelievable. The Flamels don't come off as being 600; not even 60, judging from their tone and deference to Dumbledore. Dumbledore too comes off as being much younger than he is, while Harry and some of the Slytherins like Tracy and Millicent come off as much older. Harry has special circumstances, but even so, seems unusually cynical and worldly wise for a 11-12 year old with repressed childhood memories.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/22
you kill nymphadora tonks the most likable character in the beginning of the story? seriously? Good job killing the vibe of reading further next time dont even make anymore stories if your this horrible at making a story plot that doesn't kill the fun characters at the start.
| Birds Love Words chapter 1 . 5/1
Ahem, forgive the half-finished review I just posted. The evil schemes of my touchscreen have foiled me once again. Now that I have access to a real keyboard, let me post the review I meant to post before.
Thank you! I've always thought that Lily must have done some extra-special-ancient-runic-blood magic-ritual thing to protect Harry, because really, no mother in the history of wizardkind ever sacrificed herself to save her child? No dramatic, star-crossed lovers ever threw themselves in front of a killing curse out of pure love? I don't buy it. With the frequency Voldemort (and likely Grindelwald and all other dark wizards) used it, is it even conceivable that Lily Potter was the first person to take an AK for another? Absolutely not. So, I appreciate you giving a little extra explanation as to Harry's survival. In all honesty, this is EXACTLY how I would have written Lily and James' death scenes (minus the beginnings of the Sitra Ahra plot, of course). So, job well done here.
However, I have read quite a ways into this story, and something's just not clicking for me. I've read a lot of your (bloodier) short stories, and been impressed with all of them. You have a definite talent for breakneck pace, and, well, breaking necks (The Unforgiving Minute is my favorite one so far).
But this story just seems to drag itself along with no end in sight. I lost interest partway into year two, and when I checked the latest post and saw that the story was only in the summer between Harry's second and third year, I became even more discouraged. I love novel-sized fanfic as much as the next bookworm, but 180,000 words per Hogwarts year seems like a stretch, even for me (FYI: that's about 1 Goblet of Fire book). If you finish this in the very distant future, it would easily top 1,000,000 words, and probably be much larger. So forgive me for my lack of interest in an incredibly large, relatively slow-moving plot (and yes, I understand the irony of posting an incredibly large, relatively slow-moving review to say as much).
SPOILER ALERT FOR POTENTIAL READERS!
Another thing that really gets to me are the deus ex machina plot points. For example:
1. Avoiding a press field day after the orphanage - Rita Skeeter is an unregistered beetle animagus. There is no way in hell she's going to be kept out of a story so juicy and potentially devastating to Albus Dumbledore and/or Harry Potter. Even if there were wards on Harry's room, she'd just follow one of the nurses/doctors caring for him and get the scoop there.
2. Harry finagling himself a home with the Flamels - The legendary, mysterious, wealthy, brilliant, ancient, childless couple is more than willing to take on an orphaned child? Then why have they never adopted before? And why are they so comfortable raising a child if they've never done it in 600 years? Plus, it puts Harry in an excellent position to learn any magic he wants so that he's a Super!Harry by the time he gets to Hogwarts.
3. Getting rid of Draco by the end of first year - Really? Really? Draco is the person we all love to hate. You've left yourself five to six years of Hogwarts without the best way to force conflicts and show how much better Super!Harry is than everyone else. The only small-scale enemies you've left yourself are: a) Snape b) the current Defense Professor c) the older Slytherins and d) the Minister of Magic. Now, these are all admirable antagonists, but b & c will leave throughout the years, Dumbledore can put a leash on Snape, and the Ministry can't touch Harry at Hogwarts without resorting to an Umbridge infestation. The Death Eaters and Voldemort are still on the horizon as the big baddies, but you can't get to them without going through the little people first.
4. The Legion of Christ - Don't know what to say about it other than that it doesn't appeal to me. I know this is what your story is based off of, so any criticism I give won't be likely to change it, but I'm not terribly interested in some fringe Jesuits taking on what feels like Professor Xavier's School of Wizardry. Christianity's persecution of "witches" is a legit thing in real life, but I can't get into it in this fic. It's too much mystery and drama for me, to the point where it feels almost absurd. Perhaps if I'd finished the fic it would make more sense, but I'm not interested enough to pursue it that far.
5. Harry is an Occlumens; he's also NOT an Occlumens - Choose one or the other already. I understand that the "house" and "blue shield" set in place by Crowley are like training wheels. It's time for Harry to outgrow them. It's too convenient for him to have pre-made protection. It's too unbelievable that he doesn't understand it and can't make it himself when he clearly knew how to utilize it in his past. It's rather like having a child design a bridge without understanding calculus.
All in all, this fic has some good points, it just gets dragged down considerably by its sheer size and certain plot issues. There were parts that made me laugh, cringe, and gasp. You're a talented writer, but this work doesn't compare favorably against your other ones. The best analogy I can make is that you're a Tarantino - one short and bloody movie flair. Don't get bogged down in a six-season Downton Abbey-esque drama.
| Birds Love Words chapter 1 . 5/1
Thank you! I've always thought that Lily must have done something extra to protect Harry, because really, no mother in the history of wizardind ever sacrificed herself to save her child? No drama
| Digitize27 chapter 2 . 4/11
Yeah no, I'm out... you callously killed off my favourite character for no good reason beyond what I assume is shock value; literally anyone could have filled that role and Tonk's is too interesting a character to waste like that.
| waternymph569 chapter 30 . 3/6
Love the story can't wait for an update and really can't wait for when harry shows these idiot's who's boss
| Terry Waterhouse chapter 24 . 3/3
Dies ist nicht so gut, as the germans would say. I held out hope for the longest time that Draco would be somehow redemed, but frankly, I don't have the time to squander on this low quality piece of shindig anymore. You know, either get Draco back and turn this into a decent Slytherin fic, or else, just stop bothering to write this stinky shindig at all! Do you actually think people like this shindig, Voice? They just say that to be polite. What they say irl is "Why should we read Voice when there are no pretty boys?" So take that, mister!
| Terry Waterhouse chapter 11 . 3/1
Why the f**k do you persist in this mean spirited bashing of Draco? He acts totally out of character in this one! You totally fail to show the depth of his character, and haven't even mentioned how he's being abused by Lucius and is actually under the imperius to act how he acts. I for one am sick and tired of jealous little tw*ts like you persecuting about things what you don't understand. This is sheer personal attacks! And for the record, I'd rather make love with Draco than you, you insensitive, heartless, tactless, insufferable, d**gusting, f**thy, fool and b**tard!
| hpf2114 chapter 29 . 1/29
This is an EXCELLENT STORY! You kind of follow canon, if not a couple of miles off the side of the road. Hope you find the time to continue, real life can be a bitch I know. Quality HP writers are hard to find and harder to keep. Your work is greatly appreciated.
| hpf2114 chapter 15 . 1/26
Ok I like! You painted a picture of Albania like no other.
| deltaboy chapter 4 . 11/21/2014
great fighting scene
| deltaboy chapter 1 . 11/21/2014
really good writing, and plot is interesting as well. keep it up!
| xvector chapter 30 . 11/11/2014
Amazing fic. Looking forward to the next arc.
| xvector chapter 29 . 11/11/2014
If this is how Harry is reacting to what happened to Millicent, his obviously delicate psyche will be ripped to shreds and disintegrated when he unlocks his entire past, given what we know about it so far.
| xvector chapter 28 . 11/11/2014
Flint is by far the best character in the entire fic.