|Reviews for Indiana Jones stuck in Feudal Japan|
| Angelmana chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
lol that was great i liked ot.. later for now
| The Canadian Patriot chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
I personaly think you need to worck on getting indys persanality right
| Jones Lover 3 chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
I liked it. Could use a little work but I still liked it
| fairqueen chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
i liked it short, but very well thought out
| Captain Peanut chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Praise: I think this is truly material to be an awesome story, I do. You appear to be very creative. A crossover between Inuyasha and Indiana Jones brings to my mind a big hit of a story.
Criticism: They way you did it was the farthest plot from my mind. And I mean this in the best way possible - It was hard to read. Please know I only say these things because I want you to be not a good writer but a very good writer.
First—as the other two reviewers have mentioned too many spell and grammar errors. Your sentence structure also makes it hard to read.
Second—the way you write this story is from the perspective of Indiana Jones. A famous archeologist - meaning he has been through several years of college. If you’re going to write a story from a person’s perspective you HAVE to sound like that person (unless of course it’s a parody and meant to be off character). If you wrote from third person I would not hound you on this. A story on fanfiction is more appreciated if the characters are inline unless intended otherwise.
Third—Mac's full name was not mentioned at all in front of Kaede yet she suddenly knows it to inform Kagome.
Fourth—Does Indiana Jones know Japanese so well that he can communicate with everyone who speaks the language in a different time. It was one thing with Kagome since that was her native language.
Fifth (and lastly)—you had such a good story plot but you ruined it by making everything it too simple. So this happened and then this happened and then we did that.
Please remember that I only say this with the highest respect in mind. I know that long criticism reviews are annoying and you don’t really want to read them. But the better you write your stories the more reviews you will get. The more reviews you get the happier you will be. I know your still young and you have some more education to fulfill, therefore no one expects you to write like Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, or Mark Twain. You don’t have to write ten billion stories in need of improvement, just one good one.
I hope this helped you and good luck in the future.
| hichigomate chapter 1 . 3/2/2009
This is a good storyline but proofreading is always a good thing to do. Well, I can't say much because I tend not to and Microsoft Word isn't the best, but if you have spell check it's always a good idea to use it. However I do think you should continue the story. It's interesting, a cross-over I haven't heard before. You never know; as the story progresses you might get more!
PS: A beta, perhaps?
| owl chapter 1 . 3/1/2009
I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, but you might get more readers (and reviews) if you paid more attention to spelling and grammar. You have a good idea for your story but the misspellings and frequent grammatical errors make it very difficult to read.