|Reviews for The White Queen Original|
| Vampwriter chapter 20 . 1/17
You really should come back to this fic. I like it far better than the rewrite. The one thing that really draws me to it is the fact that Rau actually seems to be a likeable human being underneath it all. The very fact that he has redeeming qualities is something so rare, that I can count on one hand how many fics I know that are like that. The Murakumo Gundam is also awesome. It's very different from other mobile suits that he's piloted, and whereas Kira is usually an excellent marksman because of the strike, this time he's getting good at cqc fighting.
Chris was an awesome add-on, I like him. And I'd bet money on him getting with that female Grey Demon pilot. I've actually forgotten her name right off the top of my head... And I'm curious about what's to happen with Fllay. But, yeah, please come back to this version of the fic.
| TykkiMikk chapter 2 . 4/4/2015
I honestly like this versio n better because of the angel looking gundam and the names of its equipment such as the Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, and Susanoo
| Talonis Wolf chapter 9 . 10/30/2014
Alright, I'll review! Jeez. :P
Well-Written! At first I thought this was going to end up as a recap of Gundam Seed with Lacus as a GUNDAM Pilot, but am I ever glad it turned out to be so much more! I really hope you are pround of this work, it really deserves it.
| Wraith Five chapter 19 . 9/20/2013
I've have to wonder, how many other people wondered if something was up when you didn't mention this fic in your 'general status update' when you decided to cancel Divinity? (Like I promised, NOBODY ever heard ANYTHING about this from me. Not even anyone I occasionally talk about fanfics with IRL.)
| Flamingfoxviper chapter 18 . 2/17/2013
awesome story i'll have to read to rewrite
| phantomsadi chapter 9 . 2/15/2013
Love it so much but needs more kira lacus fluff
| bloody sleeping dragon chapter 18 . 11/15/2012
sweet story can't wait for the re write
since the Murakumo is designed around high speed close combat and the freedom was while mostly design from the specs of the ZAFT captured suit and combat data of the strike so they could counter it in battle will kira get the same old freedom or will lacus or something like because of the extra combat data that the Murakumo provides will it be modify or will he get a completely different suit not even for from ZAFT, and since you have kira's combat style as will the suit he gets after the Murakumo be more or less close combat oriented.?
| xXxScarletxXxSakuraxXx chapter 18 . 10/12/2012
never read a story that Lacus was the pilot of the strike before. So what happens next? I really want to know if anyone in orb could actually figure out who Lacus really is?
| Yuriski-1st chapter 10 . 9/29/2012
I know that you may never read these reviews, but here I am, writing another one. This simply came to me and I think it's worth thinking about, should you ever continue this story or write a similar one.
I am acually surprised authors (and therefor characters too) never seem to think about this:
Coordinators make the impulsive decision to help their friends by continue fighting alongside the Archangel. But, what if things hadn't gone haywire and the ship had landed in Earth Forces territory, or simply made it to Alaska with the Coordinators still on board?
What do you think would have happend to them, when it's widely known that Blue Cosmos' influence is strong in the military? Wouldn't they have been executed on the spot? Or in Lacus' case, used as a hostage?
| Yuriski-1st chapter 7 . 9/29/2012
Still not sure why I bother to write an review...
I...really don't know what I should think about all of this. Lacus could easily be another Ultimate Coordinator, Reine sounds like she is her clone, and Chris will likely turn out to be a pilot prodigy.
Reine also seems pretty far down Mary Sue territory.
| Yuriski-1st chapter 3 . 9/29/2012
I know there is no real point in writing anything here, seeing as this story has been on hiatus for 3 years now. I just want to say that I like it.
But I also think Lacus is a little too strong, to calm and decisive for practically being in the same situation as Kira (being forced to fight and kill, and having no real combat training). That, combined with her being, or becoming as good as Kira, makes her a little less of a believable character.
| Yuriski-1st chapter 2 . 9/29/2012
Just a minor thing: "Igelstellung" is a german word best translated into Hedgehog-Stance. In SeeD it's a defensive pattern the Archangel uses to combat multiple fast moving opponents, because "to take up a position of all-round defence" is called "ein-igel-n" in german.
| predator64 chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
Okay,so I just read the whole fanfic,but quite disappointed it is on hiatus.
I am a big fan of this pairing,but I do agree this is one of most underdeveloped pairing ever.I just wish production staff give more time to let this pair grow instead of rushing...I hope you will take time to let this pair grow.
I find it a bit weird as you intend to make heroine "stand equal" with the main male character,I mean Lacus having SEED isn't too bad for me,as she demonstrated the ability in GSD then you planned to make her as some kind of Ultimate Coordinator as well,no?Hinted at the my imagination if she is to be a MS pilot,she would do fine but not as good as Kira.
Anyway I see a lot of OCs here,not a fan of OCs but they are acceptable in this fanfic,I see nothing wrong.
Anyway,looking forward to next chapter of it,please update soon!It been more than 2 or 3 years since you last updated,and it is still on hiatus...Please change that soon.
Yeah,I had read your other fanfics as well,but OC-centric story isn't my cup of tea...so yeah.
| HeiwaRonsha chapter 18 . 5/23/2012
PLEASE please please, don't abandon this. I can deal with as long a hiatus as you need, but I really hope you continue it eventually, because this is such an interesting story. Normally I find OC usage (and especially original mecha usage) overdone and usually done very badly, but you really pulled it off! No one is overpowered, and it's all quite realistic (well, as realistic as SEED ever gets). You even made me like Flay! (a tiny bit more than I used to...) I hope that maybe you'll take a bit of inspiration from the HD remake of SEED and find it in you to complete this! :)
| Barterfield chapter 18 . 9/4/2011
OI you cant just leave a story! I want so where you were going with this! PLEASE