|Reviews for Rajik the emperor|
| FalselyTrue chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
Wow...I am saying this SO much today. Caps would be nice, and Ashoka is CAPITALIZED (no offense intended, I capitalized for effect-it worked quite well, didn't it?) and Anakin, too. Commas really help, as well.
| carlossantiago chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
Good start you should continue this, you need to use "" marks for speach and put it on a seperate line so its clear when someone is talking although it was very intresting i woulda prefered more dialogue and a more gripping starting:
Instead of "The story begins in a nearby battle between 4 droid frigates and republic cruisers for control of a nearby planet" Try this: "On a near by planet an intense battle begun between the droid frigated and the republic cruisers," the use of the word intense is more emotive and when you say "the story begins" it sounds a little boring but other than that its a brilliant idea so i hope you like my response and i hope u take my criticism in a constructive way to help you with you writing. XD
| crazyfroglady chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
It's a start I guess. Just need to invest in some punctuation, and maybe flesh things out a bit and you might have something here.