|Reviews for Tropic of Virgo|
| kellybear3 chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
What is wrong with Edward now? I hope he doesn't close himself off again. Great update!
| faite-comme-moi chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I opened this chapter this morning like a jones-ing addict. And I do have other hobbies. Only 79 hooks? I may have you beat. And a squirrel stash of yarn as well.
You can dismiss this as ridiculousness but I continue to see a lot of craft in your story. Thank you for allowing Bella to see Edward's disinterest in Lauren. That's a nice balance of angst:she wonders why he's holding back but is confident in his attraction to her. You crab-walk the balance between the two perspectives and I like the way that works.
You had a nice, light touch with the email alert near the end. I got the connection between the two incidents when Edward asked if she was going to answer the phone. A good writer, however, directs the reader without using a heavy, black arrow.
Two song titles although they go way back: Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison and Lay Lady Lay by Bob Dylan. I was more than an adult before I could excuse the overplay and appreciate Van Morrison's genius.
| WritingMySins chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
Are they getting smarter yet? lol Piece it together, send a message straight to him ;)
| Blaze Sanders chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
Again amazing chapter!
| shalu chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
Definitely "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. Ahahahahaha...I KEED, I JOKE...that song nearly made me barf that summer (and I am not joking). Hm...in actuality, I'd say "Bittersweet Symphony" (Verve)...who the fucknuggets sold that to Nike for that commercial? EVIL. E-VIL.
on the real, you never cease to create beautiful prose, m'dear. it's amazing. and never enough. . :D
| Jennmc75 chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
Bella and Edward are driving me crazy. I'm glad Alice has finally stepped up and told Bella she will intervene.
I cringe every time I hear Hotel California. Of course that is a particular radio station's fault. I used to listen to a top 40 station and one day out of no where they played Hotel California on a continuous loop for 72 hours straight. It was a marketing thing. They were changing their format to rock and it was their way of doing it. Totally ruined the song for me.
| Kyrene once Blood Roses chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I was with them on Hotel California. I adored that song but haven't been able to listen to it for a while. You know what I really like? How subtle it can be. Like when she said she was embaressed and I think he thought she meant the kiss. Is Edward figuring out that Bella is the online girl? I don't think so but it would be awesome. Everytime you mention Tori Amos or Fiona Apple my heart gets happy. Keep Going!
| kablamo chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
it made me laugh that edward is getting jealous of someone.. that is actually him!
really great chapter! i cant wait to see what happens next.. i was a bit confused at the beginning and then i realised it was bellas pov of last chapter.
played to death 'Hey There Delilah' by Plain White T's.. i loved it until it went mainsteam years after i heard it!
| Legna989 chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I think I’m going to have to start including a list of favorite descriptive phrases in each review: “blinking dreams of darts and Edward from my eyes” “this sparkling morning, fresh from rain” “I wondered if the fancy cars felt like they were slumming, parked next to my rusty red truck.” “a casual gesture that wasn’t really casual at all” “twisting ephemeral colors flashing against the night sky” “pulling gently at my mouth and my soul”
Agh! Edward’s out-of-context reaction to Bella’s comment about “Ordinary Girl” is the closest they’ve come to the truth of their little Internet correspondence. I love being so frustrated by this, and torn between wanting them to figure out the truth and not.
“Only maybe, Bella?” Only this Rockward could make three simple words so sexy.
This is certainly a different breed of small-town high school students, discussing Jungian archetypes at lunch. And yet it seems to fit completely with who these particular characters are. “Mozart, Jack White and Stevie Wonder.” Quite the eclectic choices.
The Ben story makes me like Lauren even less.
I appreciate that you take the time to describe the setup for the band at First Beach. Not only is it lovely and descriptive, with words like “old dock timber,” but you answer the questions before they’re asked about things like electricity.
Interesting that Bella didn’t see Lauren and Edward kissing, but isn’t naïve enough not to at least consider the possibility. I also love that Bella was calculating enough to recognize that Lauren probably wasn’t going to take her up on the offer to go meet Jacob, and she used that knowledge to get herself off the hook without putting Jake anywhere near Lauren. And on top of that, she’s confident enough to recognize Edward’s interest in her, and the difference between how he looks at her and how he looks at Lauren, regardless of what actions he might take. I like this Bella so much; she’s smart and funny, and she understands and accepts herself. But she still has her moments of insecurity, too, which makes her all the more relatable.
“Light easy blues, covered by the King on one of the Hawaii albums, and I just let it float over the water and the sand, singing to the little boy who had borrowed my mother for a time because he had none of his own” This is exquisite.
Hm, I commented in my last review that Bella seems to be okay singing as long as she doesn’t have to look at a crowd or be aware of one. Looks like there’s more evidence to support that theory here. She also seems to be most uncomfortable singing in front of strangers. And Edward’s able to pull her out of it; maybe this connection between them can be used to help her overcome her stage fright enough to sing with BD.
I like the explanation of why the Cullens aren’t welcome in La Push. Unique.
I love Alice and Bella’s conversation about Bella’s look—“you’re like a changeling or something untamed”—and Alice’s musings on fashion versus style. Alice-as-shopaholic is so overdone in FF; but you’ve managed to take canon Alice’s interest in style, convert it to your specific Alice, and not make her annoying. Well done, you.
Little does Bella know she tied Debussy_88 on the kissing challenge. More and more evidence just keeps stacking up; these two are too smart not to figure it out pretty soon.
I got to the end of the chapter and was just dismayed to realize it was the end. I am so captivated by this story and these characters.
Thank you for writing.
| Raewright chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I was confused at first but I'm glad we got Bella's point of view on that night.
I think I missed something. Why did Bella experience deja vu? I can't remember a reference to La Mer. I'll have to go back and reread!
Really, really like this story! Thank you for keeping it coming!
| Sdjk chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
Doesn't the kiss count at the beach or was Bella too drunk? Can't wait till he pulls the ribbon out again.
I love the way you write this story. It is really clever and well thought out. You bring your characters to life in 3D for the reader.
| Tisaveeone chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
“Fashion is fleeting. Style is constant.” Truer words have never been spoken!
They've had there first kiss, but im not really counting it. she was drunk, and while they both remember it, im waiting for the kiss that they both...REMEMBER!
thanks for the update.
| pippapear chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I love the irony that Edward is getting jealous of someone else - who is actually him...
Brilliant. It was good to read B's interp of the drunken night of music and kisses..
I thought they had made progress, maybe they have as Alice is now in their camp.. But both E & B have retreated again. . .
& yet the air is still thick like pea soup. At least they aren't hiding their feelings to themselves any more.
Thats got to be good progress...
I would say the ball was in Bella's court - but who knows... Edward obv worries he took advantage of her... again..
But he does know it was him she fantasised over in her sleep...
I can't rem if i said this last review - thanks for not making Jake a love triangle member.. That would have triviliased the intense feel of your tale & the chemistry you have delicately & cleverly built & layered between B&E.
I really do love this story.
Thank you so so much.
| AccioBourbon chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I like how you bookended the chapter with Bella's hair in a brown ribbon, and Edward needing to touch her hair and make his own adjustments to it. Nicely visual and tactile.
The running thought of Bella's about the previous night's kiss was sweet and it worked so well to repeat it through the chapter. In some ways your version of these characters is that of older, seen-more-of-life, wiser kids. But every time Bella would think about the kiss ("Will you kiss me again?"), it pulls me back and i remember her for the young, in love and kinda giddy about it, inexperienced girl that she is.
“It’s slick, sexy, and the zipper is down.” He looked at his front, quickly. I stepped close. “Made you look!” I teased. “You wear button fly jeans, Edward.” Loved that. what boy could resist a girl who can play with him like that and be adorable at the same time? oh, edward. hear that sound? that was a kissing opportunity flying by.
"I felt that frisson on my skin, though, and knew Edward was close, watching. I looked over my shoulder, trying to find him." You are too cool for using "frisson" in a sentence. coincidentally, that is 's word of the day. really.
Random stuff: "Moondance" overplayed on the radio? Seriously? I wanna live there, wherever local radio overplays a song like 'Moondance."
Ella Fitzgerald rules my world. She's the reason i want to believe in reincarnation (I don't) so that in my next life, I might be able to be a singer. "Come Rain or Come Shine" is the first song we danced to at our wedding.
Love your second favorite t-shirt!
And damn United Airlines to hell for prostituting "Rhapsody in Blue."
| KayRad816 chapter 12 . 4/10/2009
I feel dumb. I have to admit, I was a little confused at first with the back track in time, but it didn't take too long for me to get it. I really liked reading Bella's POV of the whole beach thing. Overall, another excellent chapter. At this point, I don't really think you're capable of writing a bad chapter.
Thanks for writing.
P.S. Played to death..."Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's. When that first came out, it was one of my favorite songs, and it is a good song, I think. But what pisses me off the most about that one is that it didn't get mainstream popular until like 3 years and a re-release after it first came out. That's bullshit man! End rant.