|Reviews for Tropic of Virgo|
| EJ Santry chapter 11 . 4/6/2009
This chapter was a fantastic ride of emotions and situations.
First, we are all voyeurs watching the very erotic game of darts go down. I was with J that I needed a cigarette after reading that. Then Edward tries to throw the game, and wins it inadvertently. Hot.
Then we get to First Beach, and we see Edward shift back to his rock god ways, though his world is tilted, and he can't quite enjoy his groupies anymore. Then the whole rolling of the cap to ease her while she sings. Now I really felt like I was intruding on an intimate moment with that one. That moment, like her leaning on him while he played in the studio, was another sexless lemon.
Then, once he realizes the state she is in, he doesn't just dump her on the doorstep. He brings her right into Charlie and is honest, and he gets her to puke, and holds her hair back and puts her to bed. He had to know in that moment he loved this girl.
Finally, the dream confession and his epiphany. What a great chapter!
| flecour chapter 11 . 4/6/2009
This is a fantastic story! Keep up the great work. )
| RAEcouter chapter 11 . 4/6/2009
I wish I had a favorite t-shirt.
I'm still enjoying this story to no end. No end, I tell ya. Thank you, RAE
| letempspasse chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
a shark with a jet pack and a bird with a snorkel.
"looking for love in all the wrong places."
| Nessa19 chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
mm something about poker i dont remeber lol
great story! :D i love it please update soon!
| bookluver chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
Fuck me I want to sing
| worldtraveler chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
God, I love this story! My favorite saying on a shirt (a shirt I won't own because I couldn't be caught in it) says "You must be this tall to ride," with a line across the boobs! Rob definitely qualifies!
| Kat chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
please please please update soon. im begging. this is such a cute story.
| Tisaveeone chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
I just spent the whole day catching up on this story because...i mean how could i not. i love the way it mimics twilight but with a totally different edge. This Edward is one of my absolute fav interpretations of him in the fanfic world. i love the way he loves woman, and the way he describe it...poetry.
looking forward to all you updates from now on.
| Gaming is Chic chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
keep writing, i'm completely addicted!
| Legna989 chapter 11 . 4/5/2009
I like that Edward wasn’t mad, didn’t question her about the darts. He knew he’d made the assumption and that she just ran with it. And it was just another reason for him to fall for her. “I walked back to the line, trying not to grin, trying to keep my head on straight, trying to remember my own name and who I was ten days ago, before I met this impossible girl.” Love this.
Gah, who knew a game of darts could be so sexy? Emmett and Jasper summed it up perfectly. I get why he was willing to throw the game, and it was sweet, but I’m glad it didn’t work out.
Interesting that both Bella and Edward have sensed a shift in their online exchanges and want to back off from them. Also interesting that as their in-person relationship has gotten more intense, so has their online relationship. You’ve done a really good job of making the coincidences subtle enough that it’s believable (even if it’s frustrating) that they haven’t put it all together yet. And of course, it doesn’t help that Bella postures in person about her sexuality (saying things like “I don’t fuck on a bet”) while as Ordinary_Girl she is honest about being a virgin and having never been kissed.
I wanted to punch Edward when he kissed Lauren, then wanted to cheer when he said he didn’t feel anything. I wanted to tear Lauren’s hair out.
It seems like Bella can overcome her stage fright if she doesn’t have to look at people watching her. I wonder how Edward and the rest of BD can use that to help her overcome it altogether.
I’m glad Bella wasn’t really drunk yet for their first kiss, and Edward getting her home and taking care of her was too sweet. I loved Bella telling him, “You should do that again when I am sober.” And now he knows she was dreaming of him. Agh! This story is killing me in all the best ways. I always look forward to what’s coming next, and I rarely predict it.
Now that I’m all caught up, I feel like I can answer your AN questions. On my favorite T-shirt: “Who’s Your Spy Daddy?”
Thank you for writing.
| Legna989 chapter 10 . 4/5/2009
Your words continue to amaze me. “That admission of feminine vulnerability, the acknowledgement that I had the power to conquer her, and that she trusted me enough to want it; I’d never felt so feral or masculine in my life.” And Edward’s discussion about his love of women, “as a concept, as individuals, and in the flesh,” was just about the sexiest thing I’ve ever read.
I loved Edward saying he didn’t have any womanizing skills. “I just sit back and let it happen.” Edward Cullen, dazzling women everywhere without even trying. And I laughed so hard at his reaction to Jasper’s clarification of his earlier warning. “Every Y chromosome in your body points at her like a dowsing rod! It’s obscene, man. You’ve lost your savoir faire.” This Jasper cracks me up. I think I have a little crush on him.
“Hullo. Has anyone told you that you look like a fallen archangel? You seem to like me; would you mind taking my virginity while we listened to Leonard Cohen songs?” Oh, I really hope she actually does say this. It is awesome. The rest of their exchanges are pretty great, too. And then the gauntlet is thrown, and a mistake threatens their anonymous friendship.
I had almost forgotten about the darts; what a lovely way of bringing them back in. And Bella kissing him on the cheek…it was a thank you for her gift, so he could easily dismiss it even though it was the exact advice he’d given to Ordinary_Girl. Tricky.
I can’t wait to get the rest of the story on why the Cullens don’t go to La Push. I laughed so hard at the image of Edward picking up the lab table to get rid of Mike.
Oh, I loved so much that she schooled him in darts. He had assumed she didn’t know how to play, and when he kept interrupting her, she just let him think what he wanted to. And then she pwned him. So. Awesome.
Thank you for writing.
| Legna989 chapter 9 . 4/5/2009
I loved Bella’s musings on her time in the recording studio with Alice. She recognizes that they both judge themselves harshly while praising the other. She also frets that it wasn’t very good, but concludes that it doesn’t matter because it was fun. I suspected we hadn’t seen the end of the CD they burned, though, and sure enough, it came up later.
Bella in her confusion over Edward turns to, of course, Edward. The very person she should be talking to about it, but can’t face. This anonymous correspondence of theirs is both a relief and a frustration.
All the Cullens are falling a little bit in love with Bella, I think, but none more than Edward. And the more he reads, listens, sees…the deeper he gets. He’s only hurting them both by resisting so hard. I know he’s heeding Jasper’s warning and his own acknowledgment of his lifestyle. But I don’t think he’s going to be able to keep this up. “Sounds like your boy doesn’t know what he wants.” No, Edward, I think you know exactly what you want. You’re just trying to convince yourself you can’t have it.
Their lunchtime discussion about euphemisms for female genitalia could be used as a thesaurus for lemon writers. And I love how Edward is determined that he’s going to make Bella look him in the eye, but in the end, it’s all on Bella’s terms.
“It was like looking into a mirror after a make-over; I knew it was me, but it was hard to recognize myself.” This is such a great way of putting this.
Oh, finally some truth between them. And the instant it’s out, she flees. The sexual tension, she is a-building.
There are a lot of variations on the elements of the Twilight story, but few as interesting as yours. You’ve taken the concept of Bella being the missing element in the Cullen family in an unexpected direction. You have Bella pass out in Biology, but not from blood testing; her anxiety attack over a class presentation fuels one of the dramatic elements of the music side of this story. It’s definitely keeping me intrigued.
Thank you for writing.
| Legna989 chapter 8 . 4/5/2009
Ah, they leave each other wanting and upset, and then soothe each other anonymously. I love these two idiots.
“Jasper, wearing red one piece long underwear, complete with a button butt flap, and a leather cowboy hat, still managing to somehow look hot, hugging an upright bass like it was a woman.” Of all the images you conjure, I think the ones of Jasper are my favorite.
Your descriptions just overwhelm me sometimes. I could probably copy and paste 99% of the chapter into my review. “The vibrations ran up my vertebrae, over my shoulders, and echoed through my chest as if I was a radio tuned to his body.” Perfect.
“For a young band to play blues, everything has to be raw. Adults have the right to sing world weary ache, but new musicians have to draw from the shock, the inexperience of the pain…” How true.
I think I am going to have to engage in a round of WWEFD (What Would Edward’s Family Do?) for all important questions in life. That was too funny. And once again, Carlisle and Esme are the coolest parents ever.
“My voice was twisted with my want, and the irony of it all, that she was perfect, and I couldn’t have her.” Another achingly perfect line.
I love that at the end, it’s more than just Edward who believes Bella’s presence was as much a part of their recording as any note they played or sang.
Thank you for writing.
| Legna989 chapter 7 . 4/5/2009
I liked the paragraph in which Edward describes Bella as “a bewildered angel” and later observes her “cheeks cherub pink.” I like the way you carried the metaphor through. It comes up again later in the Biology scene, too. Nice.
“All the forbidden images of her, flesh and fantasy, secret and reality, screamed in discord and desire at her perfect mouth spitting something so deliciously filthy.” Wow.
I love Edward acknowledging how crazy he’s gotten over her, or rather over his resistance of her, really. I think that whole scene with Ben Cheney was even funnier from Edward’s perspective, because he knew how insane he sounded but just couldn’t help himself. And even though he kind of clears his head for a little while, it all comes back with a vengeance: “…if I was going to obsess this much in the first thirty minutes of her being in my house it was going to be a very long night.”
“Bella’s voice twisted the first words into shattered candy.” Obviously, this is in Edward’s POV, so his passion for music comes through so clearly in his descriptions and comparisons. But you’ve also shown us how passionate the rest of them are as well, with Alice and Jasper obviously abandoning “afternoon delight” to get front row seats at the impromptu concert and Emmett being obviously stunned and impressed. And Jasper was so wise to hold Edward back until the right moment. “Her voice was incredible, terror and honey and hot and just Bella, and I was in the same room, wrapped and bound by it, and I burned.” And I’m burning, too.
Bella and Edward’s moment in the hallway was intense. I loved her throwing the eye description thing back at him. And even though their moment was interrupted by Esme, it was worth it. I loved Bella calling her “long-lost family.”
I loved Edward’s observations of the trust Bella showed in him by falling asleep with him holding her. “One slender hand crept out to rest against my chest, and the delicate weight of it was the only thing that kept my heart inside my chest.” Lovely. “I wanted to be there, to see what she was seeing, to be who she was feeling.” This made me ache with how romantic and longing it was.
And she walks away embarrassed and thinking he doesn’t want her, when really he’s just trying to reassure her that he wasn’t taking advantage. Too bad they can’t communicate as well in person as they were anonymously.
Thank you for writing.