|Reviews for Daddys Little Angel|
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 8/24/2017
a lot. "That's mom? Wow!"
[The observations seemed like Sam, so the dialog attribution might be him. Unclear, as well as how loud it was. Wouldn’t the woman hear him?]
This is Dr. Rodney
[Convention is to spell it out in dialog, as you don’t say ‘dr’ but ‘doctor’ when actually pronouncing it. Though as long as you’re consistent I suppose it’s not major]
Sam informed them, "He has a GSW to the left hypochondrium
[I know he’s trying to help, but he’s ‘inhabiting’ a 5 year old. Couldn’t even moderately trained paramedics see this already?]
bullet missed all the major organs
[Even if it didn’t, I’m pretty sure with all the doodads the Stargate program picked up they can slap him back together]
yeah. Brilliant work, Maddie
[Wouldn’t ‘brilliant’ be emphasized?]
[Who says this? You’ve been dropping a LOT of names and it’s unclear who’s actually in the scene. You’ve also got more than 2 active participants, which generally necessitates identification in every paragraph or you muddle who is saying/doing what]
By the time her plan came to fruition Bradley and Robbie would be finished with their PhDs. She'd already approached them with her idea
[Since the scene where Sam leaps out, you have a LOT of passive Telling. Keep us in the scene, there’s a lot you can convey by the immediate actions (and, if necessary, internal thought, but that’s a crutch you shouldn’t lean too heavily on either). The more you keep us grounded in a present a continuing action, the more likely the audience will want to follow you along]
all were in agreement
All three buttons would have to be pressed at the same time to run the program
[But...why? It’s a computer program, more likely any key on any of their keyboards would need to be pressed. It’s not like the multi-key locks to keep people from activating a nuclear weapon]
edge of the Imaging Chamber door
[Why? Sam leaps in a different chamber]
It was Sam
have a ZedPM."
[I’ve only heard it ‘zee pm’, and as there’s no other indication that Madison (the only identified character so far) has any strong dialectisms before, this feels odd]
voice was filled with kindness and compassion
You've been lost in time for almost 25 years
[31 if it’s 2030, as you specified project QL started in 1999]
Sam was unable
[Author Intrusive Telling. There are lots of sensations and means to signal what a person is feeling without having to halt the narrative and brick us in the face with what you want us to feel]
I liked the start, but after Sam left the picture it looks like you dropped the present-tense story and fell into a passive summary.
| Atomdancerrr chapter 5 . 1/7/2017
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You connected your story to mine! I needed some cheering up. And this wonderfully written story and connecting it to mine, really, really, REALLY helped!
| TLWtlw chapter 2 . 4/28/2016
Good reason for Al wearing such colorful clothes.
| Dellruby chapter 1 . 11/16/2015
Why didn't I find this one ages ago!
I just happen to be watching both shows in re-runs at he moment...
can't wait till I have the time to read the rest! :-)
| clh chapter 2 . 2/13/2015
I don't really like that Sam told Rodney what was going on. At first what I liked about this story was unlike other stargate/quantum leap crossovers I've read not, having Sam leap straight into someone involved in the stargate program made it feel more like an actual quantum leap episode, but with some stargate characters, but having Rodney know what's going on sort of undermines that.
I also don't get why the little girl knows so much about what's going on. Even if her and Sam's minds had merged during the leap like in the Lee Harvey Oswald episode, she should be confused about why she's got random bits of knowledge she can't account for. She shouldn't just be all matter of fact about it. I can't say that I like it. It just makes her seem like an adult instead of a little girl which kind of negates the whole point of her being a little girl.
And since when is Al retired?
| Lady Pandora chapter 8 . 2/14/2015
Such a fun read! I know, I should've commented on each chapter but I got caught up in the story. :)
| Lady Pandora chapter 1 . 2/14/2015
You are evil. That is one heck of a cliffhanger way to end a chapter!
| Brian1972 chapter 8 . 9/9/2014
Real nice story.
| Elizabeth.M.Kelli chapter 4 . 4/29/2012
I would like to add to your possible explanations that Al said in the very first episode that they spent weeks searching through history for Sam, and it's heavily implied that most of the time there are weeks or months inbetween leaps, where a viewer of the show would perceive a week's difference, and Sam wouldn't notice it all.
It's entirely possible that the five years the viewer understands is in fact seven, eight, nine, even ten years difference for Al, Ziggy, and the gang.
Just a suggestion of course
I love this story by the way.
| Jonn Wolfe chapter 8 . 9/28/2011
This is a ONE OF A KIND GEM!
All of it was perfectly executed in my mind. Will definitely check out your other work.
One thing I thought of at the end there... Sam/Maddie since they're both relatively the same age now. ;) They'd both be able to keep up with each other's ideas at least. )
WELL DONE! *claps loudly and whistles*
| wildflower1014 chapter 1 . 2/10/2010
This is a good idea for a story. Its funny picturing Scott Backula as a 4 year old girl. ;)
| Shadows-of-Realm chapter 8 . 11/11/2009
That was an odd story (I've never heard of Quantum Leap before). However it was still enjoyable once I got the basic plot down! Great work!
| darkorangecat chapter 8 . 5/13/2009
The addition of 'hearing a baby giggle' and 'feeling and hearing a kitten purr' were nice touches to the day that Ziggy had while in Madison's body. Nice twist at the end with Sam and Al back at Quantum Leap. I really enjoyed reading.
| darkorangecat chapter 7 . 5/13/2009
I like how you build suspense and tension throughout this chapter by not quite telling the reader what Madison's plan is and then the twist at the end of the chapter was wonderfully executed. I like the idea of Ziggy getting a body, but wonder just what kind of trouble will happen as a result.
I like this description of Jennifer: "She had blonde hair shot with strands of white tied back off her face and whiskey-colored eyes." (particluarly visual)
| T'PeeJ chapter 8 . 5/8/2009