Reviews for Sweet Dreams
DarkAngel21 chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
Awww sweet but a bit stalker-ish at the beginning and I cried a lot that Kisshu didn't wake up not fair not fair not fair(falls on ground and starts having tantrum about unfairness) And Masaya must die! He will die by my hand! (Grabs Kisshu's dragon swords and laughs maniacally) Mwahaha!

Kisshu:Not again!
ananoymus chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
anything more then one cappie?
Abbie8290 chapter 1 . 7/9/2009
aww so sweet!
LittleGreenTiger chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
that is very cute i like it a lot!
Zenaga the Sea Serpent chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
Okay... um... wow...

I don't mean to sound cruel, but this needs a lot of help. It's a cute idea with potential, but I think you need someone who will tell you the truth about your writing.

The first sentence is understandable if you read it a couple times, but the grammar and phrasing is very odd. You also use commas excessively, and the story goes by much to fast. The fourth and fifth paragraphs are kind of pointless in the context of the story, and contain way too many details.

You could simplify them by saying something like 'In the final battle three years before, there were deaths on both sides of the conflict. Only Pai, Retasu, Minto, Ichigo, Masaya and Keiichirou remained.'

I don't really see any problems with the way that you said that Retasu moved and Keiichirou married Minto, and that you said that Pai stayed on Earth. You might have mentioned why Pai decided to stay on Earth, and what the heck he was doing in Retasu's house, but oh well.

Anyway, please don't see this as me trying to get you to stop writing. This is not a flame. I hope that you improve in your writing.

Sincerely, Zen.

(P.S. The end is really sweet. :3 Long live PaixRetasu!)
Tuliharja chapter 1 . 3/8/2009
Really short fic and little bit too much information, but still it was sweet. I liked the end when Pai whispered "Sweet dreams Retasu-chan."
Saba's Reflection chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
Shouda been Retasu-chan, but wowee! _ Great! Um, Minto and Keiichiro? Well I suppose she married him out of pity and tea...
Tomahawk 3.0 chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
this was really sweet, hence the name.
Safaia Bara chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
This was an adorable one-shot. Very good job, but...YOU JUST HAD TO KILL OFF MY KISSHU, DIDN'T YOU! You are too evil imouto-chan!

Just for that, your Onee-chan wants you to write a romance O/S between her and Kisshu. Got it? (Think of it as a belated birthday present to me, k?)

Just kidding Jazz-chan! This really was a good fic. Luv ya!

*SB*