|Reviews for Yamcha's Day|
| Jonin Neji Hyuga chapter 5 . 4/23
A good and interesting story.
I don't know if your auto-correct messed it up, but when Yamcha read that list, it says “Faze” instead of “phase”. Just wanted to point it out.
It would be very interesting if something like this actually happened in Dragon Ball...
| Jonin Neji Hyuga chapter 4 . 4/23
I noticed you added scene breaks in the form of lines. Its possible they didn't show up in earlier chapters due to a glitch, might want to check it out since others might point it out as well. The scene break lines made it easier to read, which is a good thing.
| Jonin Neji Hyuga chapter 3 . 4/23
The reviewer of Chapter 3, J the Drafter, has some good points. I will go into as much detail as I can, since going into detail helps more than not doing it. And I'll shorten the username to just “J”.
1. The plot is very interesting. An enemy who puts thought into things, uses his brains more than his brawn. A very interesting thing, would have loved to see that in Dragon Ball Z, a villain who is not strong but has brains to make up for it and gives the heroes a lot of trouble.
2. J says the story can use some editing and elaboration. I have to agree, the plot is so interesting to me that with outlining could have been made into a larger story. The elaboration part- it could have been longer, more could have happened. Froster could have done more, lured more into his trap! Maybe he could have sent Yamcha and some others far away and have them journey across the galaxy to get back...would be interesting. As for the editing aspect, I'd say what needs editing is the description, its lacking. But I am not good at it myself so I won't say more than that.
3. As J said, the prose is indeed a little sparse. More description would help likely. As well as adding more flavor to the text as well.
4. J said they think you also let your aggravation with the Saiyans color your dialogue. Not really sure on that. But then again, I'd say be careful of that if it is indeed the case. After all, in fanfics you don't have to have the Saiyans save the day every time. I can understand the frustration though. About the characters, can't comment on that. I haven't watched the entire series yet.
5. J says the plot looks interesting, but as it stands, the execution is coarse. I have to say they have a point. There is more that could have been done.
That aside, this is a very interesting plot, taking things in a different direction than just Brawn vs Brawn.
And Team Zerolimitz has a point about Yamcha bashers, which he or she said to ignore back in Chapter 2's review. I'd say ignore those bashers too. After all, weak characters don't need to stay weak or be bashed. Us fanfic writers can improve them, and if said character is a favorite, give them the justice they deserve!
| Jonin Neji Hyuga chapter 2 . 4/23
I have a bit of constructive criticism to give. When one changes scenes, such as when you went from Froster's ship to Earth with Puar, Bulma, and Chichi, a scene break is needed. Otherwise, readers could get confused. And some might even give up reading if it happens too often.
Other than that, this is an interesting chapter. In Dragon Ball Z, its usually Brawn vs Brawn. Now, we see Brains vs Brawn. An interesting change of things...
| Jonin Neji Hyuga chapter 1 . 4/23
A good and interesting story, heard of it and it being good so I took a look.
Description seems a bit lacking but I won't get onto you for it. After all, I am no master of description and it feels wrong to get on others about it too much if my own skill at description is not that good to begin with.
The strong point, I believe, is the characters. Wonder how Froster will get revenge...?
| Olongjhonson chapter 5 . 10/17/2015
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/13/2015
This is amazing. Thank you for writing this. DBZ movie makers need to catch on to this and make it a movie, that would be even better. So good.
| ivanthedead chapter 5 . 6/20/2015
Yamcha hit a homerun!
| Compilerator chapter 5 . 11/30/2014
This girl s one of the most authentic and true to the original series fanfics that I've ever read . No stupid exaggeration , perfect timeline placement and it seems like the author is well versed with dragon ball z facts. What adds to this story is that it would be truly believable if turned into a movie with the same script as here. Normally in these fanfics someone like Yamaha becomes a super Saiyajin etc. It would also help the series progress as after frieze saga . Akira toriyama and further sagas have t focused on humans except krill in Bulma .
Keep em coming.
And author will you give me permission to turn this to fanimation ..?.? Please ?
| Dude64 chapter 5 . 7/8/2013
Finally. It's good to see some fanfiction that respects and understands Yamcha. I don't understand why he is hated so much by people when he should be admired for his strength to continue on in life even though he's lost almost everything. I don't refer to money or materialistic objects but instead I refer to Bulma, his status as a useful hero, and his pride and self confidence. Thank you for honoring Goku's first friend and rival, Yamcha.
| Spirit of paladin chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
I think this is your best story, DeathGoblin, you other fanfics are good, of course, but this is the one I personally like the best.
Thanks for treating Yamcha right, he is normally considered a plague by most guys here, so is nice to see him get some respect.
| jdboss1 chapter 5 . 2/26/2010
| KyashaMoon607 chapter 5 . 7/9/2009
aw... it's about time Yamcha got some credit
| Richardc269 chapter 1 . 5/6/2009
I really liked this story, too. Yamcha hardly ever had any recognition in the Dragon Ball series. My favorite characters are Piccolo, Vegeta, Tien, and Yamcha. Piccolo and Vegeta because they're pretty ruthless in their fighting styles. Tien because he's a calm fighter, Yamcha, even though he's lazy and doesn't train a lot, has his moments in the series.
I'm glad someone finally gave Yamcha his biggest moment in any story.
| zfj chapter 5 . 4/16/2009
Good story. Yamcha used as an important fighter in a story is rare these days. Its good to see that he can still fight off, what powerful saiyans cant.