|Reviews for Within The Third Music Room|
| bhoney chapter 14 . 2/4/2014
I love that Tamaki asked before kissing her the first time and that he didn't want to sleep in the same bed with her, because it wouldn't be proper (though he gave up on that quickly enough, LOL). I love how much of a gentleman he is!
It might be a better word choice to say "shirt," rather than "blouse" (which is usually a woman's shirt). This tripped me up several times.
LOVE Tamaki saying he was so nervous he didn't know if he'd remember how to kiss. LOVED him thinking that kissing her was better than anything his inner mind theater could ever come up with-so sweet! Loved the interaction between Tamaki and Ranka, ROTFL. Go Ranka, protecting your daughter (though there's not really a need, with Tamaki being such a gentleman)! And the messages at the end from the gang were the perfect ending touch.
Your characterization in here was terrific. Kyoya was at his Shadow King best, Tamaki his idiot prince self, the twins their devilish troublemaking selves, Mori calm and quiet, Hunny exuberant, cute, and cake-loving, and Renge a total fangirl. Really, everyone was portrayed perfectly. Beautifully done! And such a sweet ending!
I liked this a lot. I'm favoriting it and really hope you'll come back and write Ouran fic again soon!
| bhoney chapter 13 . 2/4/2014
In this chapter, it should be "content" rather than "contempt" and "decision" rather than "discussion." There were a few others scattered throughout, too. I hope you'll go back and fix these, it's definitely worth it. The story is a good one and so funny, it'd be a shame to have little things distract the reader from the great experience.
Love the twins setting Haruhi and Tamaki up. Love Nekozawa's freakout taking the attention off them. LOVE the group all gathering outside the changing room and telling Haruhi how much she means to them and wanting to help her. I love when that happens, everyone pulls together to help someone (like in the manga when they all help with Tamaki getting to the airport in time, so sweet-glad you did this for Haruhi, as well).
It was cute that Kasanoda crawled into the circle, trying to help. LOVED Hunny and Mori saving the day. Hunny's one of my favorite characters and he was in top form here. Tamaki getting wrapped up in his inner mind theater was funny, too. And the last scene between Kyoya and Tamaki was hilarious. I was laughing so hard. I wish we'd seen something like that on the show, LOL. You have to know that there were many times Kyoya wanted to beat Tamaki over the head with a mop or anything else handy. LOL So cute!
| bhoney chapter 12 . 2/4/2014
Love Tamaki and Kasanoda's exchange as they both want to help Haruhi. Love that Kyoya knows exactly where she went. His delivery of the line made me laugh out loud. So Kyoya. Love Hunny jumping for joy at the fact that Tamaki has a plan to help Haruhi. So sweet. Like that Kazukiyo and Momoko seem to have gotten together. And, as always, I love the operation name they came up with, LOL. So sweet. I can't wait to see Tamaki's plan.
| bhoney chapter 11 . 2/4/2014
I think you meant "curse," not "cruse." This was cute. Loved the twins being their usual evil selves, chasing around poor Nekozawa and giving him fits with the flashlight. LOL Poor guy. Love Hunny offering Usa-chan to him for comfort. I'm surprised Beelzeneff didn't object to that, LOL. Another cute chapter, entirely in-character. I hope you plan to write more Ouran fic soon.
| bhoney chapter 10 . 2/4/2014
Aww, very sweet. Love their cute awkwardness around each other. :)
| bhoney chapter 9 . 2/4/2014
LOL The candles were cute, I thought. And I loved Tamaki jumping in in his usual idiotic but sweet way, wanting to help Nekozawa by buying all his candles. That's so Tamaki. You had some misspellings in here, but otherwise a really cute chapter.
| bhoney chapter 8 . 2/4/2014
Cute! I hope the two of them finally get together. And I'm gonna guess the next visitor is...Nekozawa!
| bhoney chapter 7 . 2/4/2014
This was hilarious-love the mention of fanfic and episodes. ROTFL And the realization that there are things even Kyoya doesn't know, LOL. Really cute!
| bhoney chapter 6 . 2/4/2014
You said "layer" but I think you meant "lair" (Renge's retreating to her lair) and it should be "streak" instead of "streek" and "breath" instead of "breathe."
I love how Tamaki's voice makes her forget all about the thunder. I hate that Haruhi feels like she needs to face her fear alone, but it does sound like her. I hope she'll let the guys help a little, though. Poor Hikaru.
| bhoney chapter 5 . 2/4/2014
I had to laugh, but you had Tamaki say, "I am not a pervet" (instead of "pervert"). LOL And did Tamaki just out Haruhi's gender to the guests by calling her his daughter when he was screaming at Kasanoda? Love Hunny giving Kasanoda cake to cheer him up and Mori's "Eat it" was perfect. You're doing a great job of keeping everyone sounding like themselves.
| bhoney chapter 4 . 2/4/2014
LOL I had a sneaking suspicion that would be it. Wonder what they'll tell him. I love Tamaki-he's always eager to help others, no matter who it is.
| bhoney chapter 3 . 2/4/2014
Hmmm...I'm intrigued now. What's Kasanoda's problem? Will Haruhi be able to help him? Love the Tamaki and Kyoya interaction here, it's really well done.
| bhoney chapter 2 . 2/4/2014
I DID sense a little Kyoya/Renge sentiment here. Funny chapter-love Tamaki's tears covering the floor and Kyoya getting Renge to apologize before anyone drowned or the floor got damaged. LOL So far, everyone's kept in-character pretty well, too, which is a treat. Cute chapter!
| bhoney chapter 1 . 2/4/2014
There are a couple of places here where you used the wrong word ("slight change" instead of "slight chance") and I noticed in one place where you ended a paragraph with more than one set of punctuation, which was probably a typo. Other than that, this was a terrific start and I'm excited to see where you go with this.
I loved that Tamaki thinks of Haruhi as more important than his customers. And I love all the hosts worrying about her. It was a little heart-wrenching to see Hikaru still isn't over her, but I love that he trusts Tamaki to take care of her.
| LoVeYo chapter 8 . 3/15/2011
i think Nekozawa is the next guess