Reviews for The Port Angeles Players
Ivygirl702 chapter 7 . 3/21/2009
I loved this chapter. It is my favorite so far, and I've read it about 5 times before I reviewed. As much as I love being inside their heads, it was fun to "listen" in to their phone conversations.

Great job!
raleighlane chapter 7 . 3/21/2009
WriteOnTime,

Would you forgive me for a little contraryness, constructive criticism and a dash of tough love? Certainly hope so. Because your reply to my post over at twilighted had me happy and giggling and I don't want you to hate me. So just a few comments...

1. Cute update! I like the idea of a whole chapter of just dialogue. And you did it well. Though I do miss your pithy turn of phrase which doesn't come out as much when you are speaking solely through the characters and not with your own voice.

2. Edward came on a little strong over the phone. Maybe this is just me, but if my first few conversations with a new love interest included all of the following phrases:

'I’d like to watch you nap.'

'Okay, here’s some truth: if you were sitting across from me,this would be the best and most delicious dinner I have ever had.'

'He must have been a major asshole. Major. Because I can’t imagine anyone deliberately hurting you...'

I might run in the other direction. Because usually such comprehensive non-cautious sweet talking isn't genuine. I think when you really care about getting to know someone, when they peak your interest and have you thinking that maybe your heart could be on the line in the near future, you are more likely to save the 'I'd like to watch you nap' comments until you're quite certain that the other person won't get the wrong message and think you just really want to tangle in the sheets as soon as possible. Phoneward reminded me a little of a Willoughby or Wickham at this point. Smooth, suave, charming and potentially insincere or capricious.

... But at the same time, who DOESN'T love a sweet-talking Edward? I mean he could certainly sweet talk his way into my bed (or onto my couch, or against the nearest wall) any time of the day or night. Sigh.

3. I feel the need to defend dear Ernest, so I'll do so in the context of The Sun Also Rises. Hemingway didn't write Brett Ashley's internal struggles and I guess since we were never coaxed to lend her a sympathetic ear she does look a lot like a plot device. But at the same time I think that it's pretty easy to see some of Brett's internal struggle. She finds comfort and safe haven in her sexuality because it makes her feel secure - something she may not have needed so badly in better days. She's lost the moors that tied her to a real and rich life before the war, and in that sense her story is a different angle on Hemingway's theme and is every bit as important as that of any of the other expatriates.

4. I'm not really fond of the Columbia grad/English professor and the good doctor use the language of 7th graders in their texts. We all have Blackberries etc. now, and not making use of our QWERTY capabilities seems like a shame. It makes sense for McVampy's hormonal, horny high schoolers to text like Jonas Brothers fans, but your Ed&Bel are so clever and mature that their inability to type seems kind of out of character.

Sweetpea, you're doing a fine job with Jasper. I'm sure he was just teasing about your being a disgrace. Though if he keeps it up just let me know and I will coerce him into hushing up with some homemade pecan pie and a nice big glass of sweet tea. When I'm done with him he'll be as compliant as Ashley Wilkes but still at least twice as interesting.

Sorry I just wrote you a novel. And one you probably won't even like very much at that. I am overly verbose and if it bugs you just let me know and I'll stick to the script of 'you're brilliant and can I borrow Edward from Bella for just an afternoon? I promise I'll return him [mostly] unscathed...' ;)

Can't wait for the next update.

love love love,

Laney
aliceinthemiddle chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
Even with the REALLY fucked thing with the lines/spacing, it was readable and really really FUNNY. I like the way they talk to each other. It's such a debate the whole time. ;)

xoxoxo

aliceg
drkvctry chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
i love the way you did this chapter! the layout was perfect! well done!
DeirdreJG chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
another great chapter. loved this format. it was quick and witty and funny as hell. i love that they profess to be honest with each other and actually are. it's refreshing.

keep 'em coming.
Starling Rising chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
I think I want to be you when I grow up. Just saying.

I really liked the content of this chapter; Edward and Bella conversing is always a good thing. However, the format didn't really do it for me. I would rather you have broken the rules and done it on script format, or just have alternating quotations- though that can get confusing. All the lines were a bit distracting.

Still, the conversations were wonderful. I love that they were just talking about random things. Edward is so sweet, he's making my brain melt too. And the Hemingway conversation totally enlightened me. We had to read A Farewell to Arms this past summer, and I really didn't like it, though all my friends did. Now I realize that it's because Catherine was flatter than plywood. The love story was horrible because she had no personality. So thanks for illuminating that for me. I look forward to further enrichment in the future! :)
kellybear3 chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
That was really fun dialogue! I really, really love your Edward. He's so sweet and funny. But yeah, that was hard to read. You probably should have just written it the way that McVampy does her dialogue... continuous alternating quotes down the left side of the page. It works fine that way and never gets confusing.

Anyway, thanks for the update!
ElleCC chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
When you mentioned on the boards what this chapter would be about, I wasn't sure what it would be like. I think it turned out really cool. As if you were reading a play, you (the reader) are responsible for completely creating in your head the world they are in. So interesting. The formatting was a challenge at first but I adjusted my font size and the width from 3/4 back up to full and it worked out fine. I'm not sure how you could have better done it.

Your dialogue is amazing. They were... hilarious. Open and honest and funny and real.

So funny that when he said he'd call her tomorrow, he meant first thing in the damn morning. 7:44! LOL! If nothing else about the chapter was telling about what an enthusiastic nutjob he is, that would be enough.

I love that she called him out on being a jackass/non-jackass and that he asked her about what happened in NY. And that he respected her when she didn't want to give the story right away.

Poor blind patients... ha, that whole thing was funny :)

This is one of my favorite sets of lines: "I thought you were not the most unfortunate-looking individual I’d ever seen in my life. I liked your hands. Your hair made me wonder whether there might be a lion hiding in there." As I've mentioned before, I love the lion references about his hair. I see this Maurice Sendak-style lion perched on his head. Where is Pierre?

Cary or Jimmy is a tough choice. Can I have them both? Can they get drunk and hiccup at each other? Or filibuster? Can we hang off Mount Rushmore?

Another favorite line, re: napping: "It’s really not the action-packed spectacle you’ve been led to believe it might be, Edward."

Ah, Rhett makes a show. Can't go wrong with the classics: "You need to hear it, and hear it often." Slick bastard.

Yay me and my supermodel name! Thanks for that! That was way beyond spectacularly cool )

Great chapter. I think you really pulled this different style off well. Rehearsal on Tuesday should be entertaining :)
Sheeijan chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
Those phone calls were amazing. I actually got jealous because I've never had phone calls like that. *grin* Edward seems to be doing a masterful job finding his true self. It's nice to see. I thought it was wonderful how he was so firm with Bella about how he sees her when she got upset about herself. That was great that he wouldn't allow herself to drag herself down like that.

Thank you for the update!
Krugness chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
I'm happy to see that they have gotten over their inability to speak to one another without using their characters. They started last chapter but moved right along in this chapter. Hm... a Bardward/Bella date. Will you take them somewhere new and exciting? Strangly, I'm thinking a movie marathon of their favorite movies would be funny. I'm envisioning Edward in a toga after the mention of Animal House. Not a bad vision at all. :D
n0 l0nger in use chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
I enjoyed their phone banter so much. The reference to Hemingway was GOLD!
Irritable Grizzzly chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
You know you're my girl, right? I mean, you've gotta know that by now.

I adore how Edward immediately called her on her degrading herself bullshit. Like, STFU, don't let some douchebag tell you your self-worth. Stop putting a negative spin on everything, self-degraBELLA.

Edward came clean about how he used to pretend to be something he's not, which shows how much he's trying.

Oh, and a guy in glasses? I agree with Bella. Yummy!

As usual, you always have me laughing till there's a stitch in my side. Smart sarcastic humor makes me purr. It fills my insides with ooey gooey goodness.
abgdefunct chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
I love the phone chit chat. So endearing, sweet, smart and funny. They are headed toward some insane chemistry the next time they're face to face and I can't wait to read about it!
EC4me chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
I love this story. The characters are amazing and it's incredibly well written. Looking forward to more.
Dolphin4442 chapter 7 . 3/20/2009
Great chapter. I loved it.
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