Reviews for Personal Reasons
Beatlemaniac1 chapter 3 . 3/18/2009
Amazing ending. Unexpected. Wow.

I really hope you will continue to write Watchmen fics. I'll be looking out for them. You're such a talented writer.
littlegeekpenguin chapter 3 . 3/18/2009
This was an amazing piece. I felt super special stupid that I didn't realize Blair was *that* Blair until it happened, but the impact of realizing why that case was so personal was incredible.

This is one of, if not the, best Watchmen piece I've had the pleasure of reading. Great work.
sweet-taboos chapter 3 . 3/18/2009
This was an extremely good chapter. Perfect in my eyes even. I don't even know where to begin. I loved how you had Alana go to a female psychiatrist. Of course after what her father did to her she'd be like that and you made it seem real and not fake.

And the boyfriend hitting his girlfriend happens all the time. I mean look at the new today. Chris Brown and Rihanna for a great example.

But what was genius was Blair missing. I loved how you incorporated that in the story. It always made me wonder why THAT murder set Walter off and turned him into just Rorschach. And you made it blend in and make perfect sense. Congratulations for doing that. It was perfect and again make perfect sense.

The epilogue made me worry a bit. I hope Michael won't do anything to her and I'm glad Alana named her son after Rorschach. That's respect. Does Rorschach know about that?

Over all you got a 11 out of 10. XD You stayed true to the story, nothing OC about it, besides friendship (which they hardly ever meet up), and blended in the comic book with your story with the one scene that bothers me still to this day: The 4 year old missing girl that made Walter turn.

Keep up the fabulous work. It was something I enjoyed reading immensely. I'm greatly anticipating your next story(ies). :)
Nellodee chapter 3 . 3/18/2009
wow. what a ride. okay, how to write a review that does your story justice? nigh impossible. ill try anyway.

i think youve done an amazing job here. both going into walters/rorschachs head and in constructing an OC thats believable. i think you achieved your goal perfectly, in terms of weaving a relationship that would be a) believable, b) not romantic (how COULD it?) c) interconnected with canon.

the things that stand out especially are the descriptions of how walter felt before he became rorschach. i totally agree with you: he does have morals, and those have to spring from an ideal. its a simple ideal, its a bit like a childs ideal, the perfect, clean, american family beset by evil and himself as the white night.

also, loved the detail that he makes notes first to commit to the real diary later. youve got an eye and a feeling for the canon story.

great description of alanas struggle to be a good and faithful woman and to come to terms with the abuse. no false drama here, life can go on anyway, even if it takes hard work.

i felt for her, deeply. her happiness with her little girl was so present, the crime that ended it even more horrible. it really was the end of the world in more than one sense. it was incredibly sad to read the epilogue. after struggling through so much, the horror finally got her good.

little walter was a very nice touch. a true innocent, so different from his namesake.

dang woman, you know how to write. this is by far the best "watchmen" story out there and a piece of literature all on its own. i really, really hope to read more from you in the near future.
Rain the Revenant chapter 2 . 3/17/2009
Dewd. Win.

Perhaps the only decent way to add a FOC to Watchmen is to have it like this: She brushes the edges of the canon, finds her own separate story. Very nice.

It's odd too see such a young Rorschach...or not-yet-Rorschach, as the case may be. I think you've handled him pretty well. :D

It's also great the way you've paralleled Walter's mindset so closely and yet so differently in Alana - the instant she started in on how men are only after one thing, I knew you were doing something very right. Another bit of this that I loved was the knife, especially at the end. "Well, I can try this date, and if it doesn't work out, there's always MURDER." Poor thing is messed up. XD

I wonder if she ever recognizes the fabric when Rors starts appearing in the paper? Maybe not.

This is getting much longer than I planned - my reviews are normally much more concise. I'll wrap it up - good writing, good pace, good characterization, wonderful use of OC. :D
carnageincminor chapter 2 . 3/13/2009
Oh my god. This is so epically, epically awesome. Your writing is fantastic, your characters are believable and Alana is very realistic in her attitude to men. Walter's mirror scene worked brilliantly. Please, please write more!
orange sparks chapter 2 . 3/13/2009
I'm normally wary of OC stories, and for good reason, but I'm glad I took a chance on this one. It's ridiculously well-written, and Alana is a character you can both actually relate to and feel for. I really like your characterization of Kovacs, too. Very well done.
cutepenname chapter 2 . 3/13/2009
oh no! I think i can guess where this is going (how SAD!). I love how you've written Walter in this story. And no I don't think your OC is a mary sue (she'd have to be annoying and in LoVe with walter/rorshach, and from the looks of it she's not.)
Trisha chapter 2 . 3/13/2009
It's funny you say that the mirror scene was one of the hardest to write, because I think that was the best written scene in this chapter. :-) I had always wondered about that line in the comic, when he says he made a face he could bear to look at in the mirror. I wondered, why did *he* feel ashamed, if he's so *sure* about where evil is in the world, and I think you made the transition very believable in the realization that he had "just watched" as well. Walter and Alana...I don't know. Their interactions left me a little unsure. I'll try and say something more conclusive about that after it goes to hell in the next chapter. :-) Happy writing.
Nellodee chapter 2 . 3/13/2009
okay, raced through this, will read it again with more time. this story keeps going strong. if poyyible, even better than the first chapter. may its because we know the characters already now. big applause that you manage to keep the tempo, you dont rush things. even bigger applause for keeping alana the way she is, for not falling into the "modern day approach" trap. she and her reactions feel totally understandable, given the time - and also her personality. shes no whimpering coward, but she isnt some kick-ass heroine either. im glad for her that she managed to escape her past. she is scarred, but she keeps going. not a single cliché in sight yet.

walter becomign rorschach for the first time (or rather disguising like rorschach) was a powerful scene. i think you are on the right track here: the thought of not being that much better than those people who watched the murder. guilt thrown into the mix makes his reactions all the more plausible.

big appreciation also for his conflicted feelings towards women. you have a special, subtle way of treading here which is both great to read and understand. again, no cheap drama or simple explanations. the way you describe walters inner world here feels perfectly in synch with how daniel describes rorschach in the future, looking back - withdrawn, but still "normal".

the best thing of this fic, though, and this is a big compliment to your writing style, is how you manage to get the reader immersed in your story. id love to draw some of your scenes, and this is the first time a watchmen fic has done this for me.

i can only hope you wont take too much time before posting the last chapter, but of course i understand your need to compose it.

*bows*
Beatlemaniac1 chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
Words can't give what you have written justice. I'm a person of few words so the most I can say is that this story is a spectacular piece of literature.

Walter's personality was on the spot, I love your original character, and... update soon.
teacrumb chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
This is the only fic with an OC I've been able to stand so far. Because it's SO FREAKISHLY GOOD. I love the characterization of Walter, and you've created a truly realistic and interesting OC. Totally captivating. The only criticism I could offer would be that the father's drunken slur seemed a bit oddly written. (I'm not sure what I was hearing in my head while reading it was what you intended.) Please continue writing because this fandom needs more authors like you! _
Trisha t.livornogmail.com chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
Oh, I like this very much. And I share your pain with all the new Rorschach/OC fics that are coming out nowadays. The Watchmen section on wasn't really 'alive' for such a long time, and I remember coming back to check on it a few days after the movie came out and seeing the very first of these stories - I think the summary was something like - "Rorschach meets a girl who understands," and I thought, "Oh god. It's starting."

I think what I like about your fic is that you hold the characters back. Fanfiction can be very liberating, and a lot of it is just "I've always wanted someone to tell Rorschach that he should loosen-up-for-God's-sake so I'm going to make one of my characters say it to him." When I published fanfiction several years ago, I definitely fell into that. But I like how with your fic, you have the ability to make plot happen without the exposition - like how Walter figures out the mystery, but doesn't swoop in to save her right away (very pre-vigilante in character!), or how Alana's home life deteriorates, but she doesn't immediately find the solution, or how they both act comfortably within the social boundaries of a racist-grimy-don't-air-your-dirty-laundry-in-public-1960s New York.

So, kudos! Maybe later I'll get around to constructive criticism. :-)
Neko-Han chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
I'm slowly realizing that I've got a soft spot garment-worker!Rorschach and your fic so far is doing a great job of fleshing out that moment in his time-line not to mention Walter himself. And props for Alana, I love well-written OCs and she's defiantly one of them.

tbh, the only problem I saw was the author's note. I don't mean to be rude at all, but running into wall of text amounting to "My feelings about Watchmen fandom," is sort of a turn off and made me wonder if I really wanted to read the results.

I'm glad I did read on and I look forward to more, but I really think you should just let the actual fic speak for itself.
Nellodee chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
okay, this is by far the best story ive read in the watchmen category yet, and it easily ranks in the best stories ive ever read on - and ive read plenty.

the atmosphere. the characters. alanas personality. walters perpective. no melodrama. no reserves. no black and white. no inadequate judgement from todays point of view.

your OC is especially appreciated. not only is she as far from being a sue as it is imaginable, but you have also managed to create a specific person, a real person. alanas inner monologue in front of the police station is a condensation of all this.

its all so intense and real and personal, with no cheap outs or uncharacteristically fast developments, its almost painful in a beautiful way.

plus your descriptions of the surroundings are so good (without needing elaborate details), i can see each scene clearly in my mind.

you wrote that you are planning more parts, yes? i dearly hope you will.
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