|Reviews for The Super Mario Show|
| Mudkip8330 chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
Good work :)
| Systema chapter 1 . 8/29/2009
Perfect! reminds me of the good old mario fuuny and cool and did you changed episode 3 because once it repetead.
| Mentalist L-J chapter 3 . 6/2/2009
Hi, not bad, It's a bit hard to follow at times, but apart from that its good, oh, chapter 3 is the same as chapter 2.
I am also doing a Mario story, I would be greatful if you could read it and let me know what you think.
Keep up the good work.
| BlueYoshisaurus564 chapter 1 . 5/31/2009
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's what I would've said! "Yeah Right Bowser Jr!" Good story!
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 2 . 3/18/2009
Not bad. I like how you are plan to keep the shows style. There are some small things that could be easily improved upon to make the story a lot better.
It’s generally a good idea to write out “and”. It’s not more work and it seems more natural.
It might be good to go into a bit more detail a times.
This could be a mistake from the site, but the first chapter is posted again as the second chapter.
And I think it’s better if there is nothing like “(For the record, they're Iggy, Morton Jr, Lemmy, Roy, Wendy, Larry, & Ludwig van Koopa.)” isn’t in the middle of the chapter, as it’s basically an author’s note. The same goes for Yoshi’s translations. Maybe it would be better if Peach or another character translated for him.
This is very personal, but I don’t really like scene breaks like “Two hours later…” and much prefer “Two hours later, he was still laughing.”
But don’t get discouraged! These are just some pointers.