Reviews for the white demon
Guest chapter 4 . 1/7/2013
More please! :)
NHST chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
this is sounding kind of like a Shotacon porn comic I read once
Priestessadnara chapter 4 . 5/4/2010
I really enjoy this story. I only have a few bad points, but since its been already said to you too many times (I've read the reviews) I won't. Instead ask when the next chapter or follow up story?
Packhunter01 chapter 4 . 4/11/2010
I really enjoy this story and I do hope that you will be updating it soon. Please keep up all the good work for your writing style is second to none...at least in my eyes.
strifefair chapter 4 . 1/9/2010
i am glad cloud is living with someone who cares about him and dont misstreath him. update asap i wanna read more.
Dragi chapter 4 . 12/15/2009
I am glad sephiroth finaly got cloud free from how the evil old lady and her daughters treathed him. wonder how they gona like being slaves and beaten. gues i got to wait for the next chapter to see :)
lady-yuna7 chapter 4 . 10/28/2009
I like this story, it has a very good plot. But what you are lacking is editing skills. A beta can fix that right up. Like when you say something "Like this," you yourself actually write your speech " like this." The problem with this is that there is no space in front of the speech mark. Oh and with the 'A/N' you still need to keep your grammer and spelling skills in there. And add a disclaimer, otherwise, it is copyright of characters, and you can get in alot of trouble. Don't want that happening now, do we. And also I have noticed that the story line was a bit rushed. One day, when you want, try and read through your story and edit it to make it better, or do a rewrite. I'm actaully doing a rewrite now to one of my stories because I had the same mistakes just like you. It's called 'The Black Chocobo' and you can see the massive grammer and spelling mistakes.

lday-yuna7
Kags21 chapter 2 . 10/22/2009
This is so good
Kags21 chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
This is so good love it
tails doll curse chapter 4 . 10/20/2009
Aw, Lovey Dovey Seph. I like the scene you made there at the end of this chapter. So what's next?
Fluffy chapter 3 . 10/18/2009
Find a beta to read your stories, because while some of the ideas are good the bad grammer and spelling really make it painful to read. Good luck with the rest of the story
xxLivingPuppetxx234 chapter 3 . 10/17/2009
cute.
siarafaerie-101-miss chapter 3 . 10/17/2009
very cute, when clouds not getting bet up.

update again soon?

)
Freya the Dark chapter 1 . 10/16/2009
I'm going to break my unwritten rule here, and say:

LEARN THE FUCKING ENGLISH LANGUAGE BEFORE YOU POST FANFICTION!

Seriously, your grammer is horrible and your spelling only slightly better, and you have no idea how to properly write a sentance. Namely, "It should be like this," they said, instead of " whatever the fuck you want to say." They said.

For the sake of all of us forced to read your summaries, learn how to fucking write.
Subaru chapter 3 . 10/16/2009
Weird spacing much? As nice and interesting as the story is, why do you make such...strange line-breakings?
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