|Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island|
| EZB chapter 10 . 7/26/2009
This. Story. Is. Win.
I really can't wait now to see who next could be leaving the island. It's been narrowed down to (I believe) the most useful characters or most loved. But i get the feeling the cast of Hellsing is going to be soon facing a loss in their number. For the first time they now outnumber the cullens. GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!
It was too cool watching Leon trash and crash the scenery. 83 and he's the cameraman! LOL that's just him almost forgetting it!
I just can't wait to see the Major pull some more mean shit out of his ass. Now he's just pissing me more off than before. Gr...
And finally... Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for mentioning HSWC and calling it epic! :D I promise you the comeback will be this week!
Faithfully entertained and servant,
EZB (Bats Included)
| xanimefanx14x chapter 10 . 7/26/2009
omg really good chapter can't wait for the next one!
i was kinda hoping that the kinda cat-girl-guy thing that was on the Major's side in the Hellsing series was going to come out, but what did was way better... i don't remember the guy's name...
| bahleeeted chapter 10 . 7/25/2009
So, Bizarro John (MK) mentioned you had a new thing up but I didn't get an email. Hopefully this will fix it.
Chapter title: Woot, I remember that song. BTW, a circle is round and has no end; that's what it's like to be your friend!
Okay, who the heck is "the tiniest vampire"? Because I always thought Alice would be the small one, but she doesn't usually talk like that. *scratches head*
Ew Jeff. I almost vomited. High levels of pregnancy or higher levels of estrogen and progesterone that scene bad results! XD
Alucard would never say Holy Hell. He would just go O_o and grimace and jerk his hand away.
Is it time to vote Alucard off the island yet? But yeah, I think that's why I've lost my enthusiasm a bit.
But it's hypocritical for me to complain, since I've written fluffy happy fics and had the person die at the end. XD
| Tsuki no Rekuen chapter 10 . 7/24/2009
First I would like to thank you for the clearer re-vamp of chapter 9(though a mention of it before chapter 10 started as an A/N would of just suffice instead of having the changed part placed at the beginning. I don't mind going back and seeing what was changed while refreashing my memory.) and omg yay! I was totally thinking about this fic yesterday. 8D
Now I have to say EEW I almost wanted to throw up with that green puke bit, that was... *shudders* How do I love mounds of oozing blood yet flake at the site of puke I have no clue, but that, that made me wish Emmitt and the buff was there, I can't stand the thought of regurgitated bowel fluids *burps a little from the thought*
I do lul with the whole electric sand zombie bit but for some odd reason I had a tingling sensation after reading the zap... weird normally I'm not epithetic reading stories... huh...
YAY! Leon! (Never played the game but I do know who he is at least) I laughed at Rosalie's predicament that was humiliatingly funny. I'm sad to see her go, but it was between the ones I liked at the bottom, and no way was Walter leaving I love that old man. I know I said I might, but I care for him too much. I loved the part Alucard said to Walter about doing permanent damage to the Major, xD that was just funny.
So where’s the bun-nah? : I was kinda hoping it would appear sometime. I’m curious as to know of its un-dead status… is it a ghoul or is it a nosferabbit? XDD
There may have been some parts I might want to complain about but it’s not that major to voice out or they may have already been mentioned by other reviewers (Metropolis Kid and Geophf). But really in reality I over look these because this is your story, this is a fanfic, this story is what you want it to be, only borrowing characters from others and placing them on stage like marionettes; All waiting for the strings to move them into motion. Considering the circumstances I can’t perfectly expect all of my favorite characters to act just like they do in the mangas/OVA. I love how the fic is progressing, its one of the few fics I can really complain/beg to my parents before being kicked off to let me finish reading. If something seems too off I might mention it, but it really has to bother me to have me mention it.
On a side note, I’m sad to see all the other pixie-vamps get hurt but Edward, I know he has immunity but that’s just a bit ridiculous for him to have that kind of immunity. XD I may hate Major Montana Max, but at this moment he’s on my good side for not only having a chain saw (I just about wanted to laugh myself out of my chair) but also threatened ‘sweet’ Bella. Hm maybe as a fun Hung-Man sort of way every wrong move gets Bella or some other captive Cullen family member slowly but surly dismembered little by little. Well that might be going too far, but then again I have a sadistic streak for disliked characters. Lul
Still once more I can’t wait to see how things are ganna go! Keep up the good work!
Tsuki no Rekuen aka Tsuki Tamahoshi
| geophf chapter 10 . 7/24/2009
Dearest HTH LiLa,
Hm. Executive summary: where has the fun gone?
Problem 1: the introduction. Repeating, nearly verbatim the close of the last chapter? Um, why? Your author's note here already says there's a slight change to that chapter. I believe, then, that it is possible for your readers to select the previous chapter and reread it. Having an author's note AND a significant chunk of the previous chapter? Redundant.
Not only redundant, but it set me off balance: I kept reading the revision looking for a significant change. A significant change that fundamentally changed the direction of the story. I didn't see it.
I would have strongly recommended just having the author's note and the changes to chapter 9 _BE_ in chapter 9, and not here. As it is, it knocks the story off kilter before it even starts.
Good thing 1: Okay, I finally see alucarD doing something other than glowering. He gets shot at and blows up in a very Hellsingesque manner.
Question 1: [deleted; resolved missile question via PM]
Question 2: Um, who gave you an image of Rosalie uprooting a tree? MSR, ch "Tree Hugger". I'm feeling a bit quoted anonymously [rest of comment deleted].
Good thing 2: Authentic use of faux German.
Question 3: "Saint" Guinefort? "Here, Fido" gets a vampire all blown up? Shall we then take two palm fronds and cross them to neutralize alucarD for the rest of the story?
Certainly alucarD is finally more Hellsing, but standing there laughing is three quarters of the alucarD show, and the show's payoff is alucarD so utterly destroying the enemy that there isn't even much of a stain left for him to insult in very non-T-rated language [thanks to MotB for the education]. I feel that you opened the lid of Pandora's Box with alucarD but with "Saint" Guinefort's bones, you are trying to seal that lid back up tightly. Perhaps it's a good thing for your story, keeping alucarD on the short leash where all his invective is directed at Rosalie (who has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS IMPOTENCY in this story) but I find it odd that you make him more Hellsing here just to shove him back into a corner again.
But then again, alucarD unchained? "Then alucarD blows up half the planet. The End." Rather shortens the story, doesn't it? Which begs the question: what's the point of having him at all in this story if all he can do is wreck the story?
Now that all those are cleared up, the real issue is that this chapter felt like all the joie de vivre of the previous chapters had been drained from it. Why?
Justifications and Character (re)introduction.
It felt like this chapter wasn't a chapter at all. It felt like this chapter existed to establish set pieces and then to explain and to explain them to death. Who is the new good-lookin' missile-totin' character? Why didn't alucarD heal quickly? Why is Jeff back? What is a sand zombie? And all the while the Major talk-talk-talks.
You introduced concept after concept in this chapter, as you had done in previous chapters, yes, but here, what did the contestants do? Stand there. Stand there and take a missile or two. Stand there and take a bullet or few. Stand there and watch the g-d tube all chapter.
Why? Because anything by any of the characters that moved to derail your image of where the story should go was instantly countered by this or that justification. The characters hands were tied because they themselves tied them, because any action they did to move off the rail was instantly shot down by an endlessly explained contrivance.
What made this chapter so gray was that all the spontaneity of the previous chapters was absolutely beat down by every counter available in the book.
This chapter was by the book. It was a by-the-numbers chapter, and I could feel the characters crying in place as they piped up at the appropriate times to say and to do the appropriate things to make sure everything went according to the plan that THEY KNEW would neutralize them and any and every option they could take.
They played into the game that made them powerless, and the fun of the characters is their power.
I mean Jeff is explicitly reintroduced as "oh, he's harmless." A harmless zombie? A harmless zombie that is not automata. "Harmless zombie" I believe is a non sequitur, but "zombie with it's own personality" ... um, maybe you can call it something else? A zombie, by definition, _IS_ an automata ... wikipedia: "A zombie is a mythical creature that appears in folklore and popular culture typically as a reanimated corpse or a mindless human being."
Well, at any rate, he is now in very good company with harmless vampires playing by the rules of a chainsaw wielding Nazi.
And now, with the precedent of the previous chapter being rewritten in the current one, the buy-in for the reader in this one is harmed significantly. "Oh, this chapter, um, well, let's wait until the next chapter to see if she really meant all this ..." By revising the previous chapter in the current one, you set a precedent whereby the foundation of this chapter may be swept away in the next one. I think this is a harmful precedent to set in any story.
I was sad reading this chapter. Very sad. I know it was you who wrote this, but it hurt me to see the joy and fun that you apply to your works seemingly spilled into the sands like Jeff's phlegm. And, it seems like you used the committee approach to writing this chapter, so others told you to go so far, and no farther, like me with the missiles, so it seems like this chapter cannot be "fixed" to the beauty that permeated the previous chapters.
LiLa ... I don't know what to say.
Yes, I do. [yeah, right! geophf, ... at a loss for words? That'll be the day]
What I say is this: you've literally buried Rosalie in this chapter, but DO NOT bury YOU. Write something amazing and funny and serious and beautiful and heartbreaking.
And write it boldly. Don't fit and start it. Don't start up the chainsaw unless in the next sentence Bella is sliced-and-diced [yes, I just wrote that]. Don't have alucarD laugh maniacally unless his enemy in the next sentence is dog-sh*t (as per Hellsing canon).
And don't listen to others. Don't listen to me. Don't write a chapter that I want you to write. Don't write a chapter that the twilight crowd or the Hellsing crowd wants you to write.
Instead, write. Write a chapter that YOU want to write, unencumbered by fear of what others may think or feel. Write a LiLa chapter, LiLa.
Because nobody else can. Only you can do this. So do it. Don't write a chapter that makes me proud or leaves you a yummy review. Write a chapter that make YOU proud.
Because you have been doing that. Because ...
Your story rocks. And so do you. LiLa, you rock. So, LiLa, rock on, and rock the world with your next chapter.
| Haissan chapter 10 . 7/24/2009
Hello doll-face! I am considerably happy for this, but at the same time disappointed. You see, in the author's notes you spoiled a chunk of your surprise. I would suggest that you make crediting at the end of your story so as to keep the story appetizing. I.E. Leon Kennedy even being mentioned. as a matter of fact when ever you post an author's note in a story at the beginning say nothing about the story, rather say something about yourself. or address the audience regarding things not pertaining to the story. When you've finished that chapter and you want to acknowledge another authors do so then.
Its a little rough but I think it is highly important because I feel like I was told I was to be given cake and when I got it there were finger marks in the frosting with a long black butt-hair on it.
I've said the harsh things, but on to the good. Nice work on the holy object there. It seems to work quite well.
| Master of the Boot chapter 10 . 7/24/2009
Regardless of what some people are saying, this chapter was exactly my cup of tea.
First of all, I really enjoyed your redo of the meeting with the Major. You combined the best aspects of the orignal piece with the post Hellsing and the new version with Hellsing AU.
So yeah, this was actually a really great chapter. Given that you're not an action afficionado, you did a really good job with the action sequences and having Leon Kennedy fight as he does in the games. I love how Rosalie was hauling that tree on her back like a lumberjack, that was really funny. Also funny was when the sand spat out the tree like a toothpick.
Sand-Probst is awsome. He's just like the real Probst, but a few screws have come loose. Honeslty, that thing where he sucked the goo back up was grossly hilariosu. I laughed so hard when Rose fell down on the gob of crap that he spat up. Alucard, you devilish bastard, I love you.
The counting of the votes was awsome. I love how each vote had kind of those web things, you had alucarD (awsome for geophf) and Rosalie :( I love that sort of thing. It's so delightfully humorous.
I think that it's really magnificent how after that huge fight, Leon is now the new camera man. I'll have to thank EZB for asking you to fit him in.
So, is this chapter win or lose? Win, Win, WIN!
Thanks for reccomending my story.
Master of the Boot
| Metropolis Kid chapter 10 . 7/24/2009
Yay, you updated. :)
I hate to start off with something negative, but Integra should've REALLY been the one calling the shots from the beginning. I didn't say anything last time because I thought you were going to have Jasper just leading the Cullen's, but it's extremely unlikely (impossible) that Alucard would obey Jasper (or if he did, Integra would have to order him to and REALLY put her foot down about it... even then Alucard would be looking for any loophole he could find.). And actually, I also find it unlikely that Integra would follow the Cullen's orders either.
I did enjoy the way Alucard reacted to the sniper shots. :) That was very... Alucard insane-ish. LoL
To be honest though, this was probably my least favorite chapter in this fic... not because the chapter itself was bad, but because it was an action-y/descriptive chapter and that's not really my cup of tea. :( It's the character's interactions and development that I'm interested in... better to leave the big action and spell effects scenes to the movies and DVDs- where they can actually bee seen (IMO). But I will give you points for blasting Cullens apart. ;) Why not Edward though? Jasper and Alice get blown apart but that... that THING is left in one piece? O_o
“Now, I know you led armies of men and newborn vampires, but you have to admit that Sir Hellsing has more experience dealing with this kind of enemy. I think we need to go with her gut on this one.”
Well what do you know... for once I actually agree with something that *thing* says. :P LoL
Oh and I caught the Archer's Tale reference- Saint Guinefort. :D Oh, I did enjoy that. LoL But I do think I should tell you that the doggy saint's 'cannon-ation' is one of the few things that I think Bernard actually got wrong. If I remember correctly, some of the locals set up a shrine to 'Saint' Guinefort, but when the regular priests came in, they tour it down... or something. Oh well, it was still a fun reference, and it "CMU". ;)
Gotta say, I was actually kind of sorry to see Rosalie go. Too bad; I liked her... Or rather I liked what she brought to the fic. ;) I do hope that they find her... um, alive(?) by the story's end, please? (Though if you really want to kill a Cullen, might I suggest... Edward? :O)
Well, this chapter may have not been my cup of tea, but I'm guessing this was more of a transitional chapter than anything else. So, I'm still looking forward to the next one (just as much as I was looking forward to this one). ;) Have a good day, and God bless.
PS. “I know that many of you have enjoyed his Hellsing stories, so I’m sorry to tell you that it looks like he’s going to be focusing primarily on Twilight fics from now on. He seems to have taken quite a shine to Edward.”
Don't say things like that! LoL Not in ANs! Okay, I'll admit that I'm laughing while I type this (much like you where when I first mentioned the blueberry pie thing), but still... This kind of joking around and teasing is fine for PMs. But please, will you keep it out of ANs? I don't want anyone to make the mistake of actually thinking you're serious. :P LoL
| EZB chapter 9 . 7/19/2009
That fat BASTARD. Always operating from behind the lines of fire. Gr. But the real game has begun, and war on Vampire island has begun... finally!
I really hope to see more of millennium, considering that some of my favorite characters... and hated, come from that spawn of evil, gang of cruel hearted, misfitted, inhuman, A-holes.
So my reaction to this chapter is 8D
Can't wait for more!
Now time for me to get back to writing myself!
EZB, your faithful servant.
when am i answering those questions again?
| MyHeartIsObsidian chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
Hello again darling!
I havent been able to get enough time to read this fiction earlier... as I been busy reading other books
However, here I am, ready to read this promising story :D
| geophf chapter 9 . 7/6/2009
"The silly game of Survivor was beginning to wear thin with him [alucarD], and he looks forward to the next adventure."
Here, in chapter nine, you finally start the story. I'm glad to see the intra and inter Cullen bickering that has so permeated this story now has a reason to stop. I'm glad that the Cullens can now work WITH the Hellsing organization instead of fight against it. [cut]
Minor things first.
1. You gave Jasper a voice.
So few fan fiction stories do this. They either dwell a sentence on his history, and then ignore him, or they dwell on his ineffectual ability (or his deus ex machina, depending on the "story"), and then ignore him.
You actually use his history to help develop his character at the end of this chapter.
You had better not ignore him in the following chapters.
But you do, at least twice in this chapter, resort to the clichéd "Jasper tried to calm x but it didn't work." Don't. Don't do this unless it either develops the story or the character. Your (at least) two slips did neither.
2. You get rid of Jeff. Buh-bye.
3. You imbued the game of musical chairs with foreboding and menace and vampires. And made it fair enough for humans to have a fighting chance.
But what was unfortunate about this very clever episode? The [cut] contrivances [of Alice's limited vision and the Hellsing bickering to eliminate alucarD] stood out, not, as you wished, the absurdity of a very adult and menacing child's game with trippy woodland tunes.
4. But I'm enjoying the continued and natural friendship between Alice and Seras, particularly because the contempt of the other participants makes it all the more endearing.
5. I liked that Edward tried to impress Sir Integra, and she called him right out on his triviality, doubly embarrassing him. ["Why am I hitting on a woman not my wife, why am I concentrating on movie trivia when she's saving the world?"]
6. But any story that has "Princess Bride" also gets bonus points from me, as it's one of my top-10 movies of all time. Also saying "PWND" [cut]
7. Ocelots. Do you know what separates a good story from a great one? No? Well, I'll tell you: ocelots. Our cat, named Mr. Darcy (full name: "Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy"), is actually an ocelot. Or a mini cross between a sabre-tooth tyger and a panther. Rowr! Rosalie's fav is panthers, did you know that? [cut]
8. And your Alice-Rose interplay is warm, sweet, and sassy. Perfect ("Want to pat Rousy?" "Keep walking, sister.")
9. Grammar/spelling/word choice problems are very few, but present. [cut]
10. I like how you factor canon into the littlest things. Unstet vampires have mass, and marble-like skin. When Rosalie is thrown to the ground by the all-powerful alucarD, the world quakes in response.
11. And Rosalie sticking a triumphant tongue out at alucarD? Nice.
12. On your use of endnotes. I understand your intent, but the result is distracting. Instead of injecting the notation in the text, simply have the endnotes quote the appropriate text at the end [cut]
13. I liked your blow-by-blow summary of the characters' thoughts after the end of the musical chairs game. This is where your command of the third person POV shines. Don't do this more than necessary, but also don't descend to talking from a first person perspective when you are telling the story in the third person. Or, at least, I'd recommend against it. I know you're going for flip when you address the audience with the character or the narrator in the first person, but it confuses the reading of the paragraph at times. Go ahead, be flip, but be judicious with it.
14. Waitaminit! You mean there's a fan-fiction writer who knows how to use the semi-colon? Inconceivable! [Eat that, Princess Bride quoter] But [cut] some of your sentences may be packed too deeply with memes and should be separated. Take this advice from a writer who writes too many dense sentences. In this complicated story, the readers need more, not less, simpler sentences [cut]
15. "surely be misty eyes if his rigamortized body" No. Unstet are not in rigor mortis. And no. Edward has not cried in 80 years. It's OOC for him or Esme (go ahead, say it: "But, geophf, in Breaking Dawn, Book I, [blah-blah-blah]") or any of the Cullens besides Bella to even consider crying. You don't do something for 80 years. Do you reach for that reaction any longer? No. A Cullen will descend to stillness, because most human physical reactions are simply no longer an option.
Vampires do not cry. They do not miss crying. If they fake crying, then they INTENTIONALLY fake it for an audience, not for themselves. Edward receives no emotional release by engaging in duplicity.
Unstet are not stiff human flesh. They are prime material activated by an enormous amount of energy: energy created by converting the mass and vitalis in the the blood to pure energy. Unstet are mini walking black holes/fusion bombs. There is nothing rigorous about them, and that is why they are so massive and so strong and so "don't-eff-with-them-because-you-lose"-able. So, titanium bonds? Holding Unstet?
Now, adamantium may be a different story.
16. 'high-pitched whimper. “It’s me, the Jeffster…”' You had to steal (one of) my nickname(s), didn'tcha? What shall I steal back? [cut]
Now for the major problems. And these will surprise you, and I am sorry to have to say this.
1. Your characterisation of alucarD is one-dimension, and he plays no role in this story. This is the third time I've read something like this passage: "[whomever] doesn’t get irate and domineering (or hurt or sad) like this very often, but Alucard rather wishes s/he would."
alucarD seems to take pleasure in observing this or observing that, but for the last nine chapters he has done all of two things: cast doubt on Carlisle humanistic defense and to assault Rosalie (I didn't say 'batter'). Okay. I get it, alucarD delights in others' pain and despair.
But the material point is: so what? How does this make the other characters grow? How does this advance the story?
Most importantly, how does alucarD, as a character, grow, develop, realise, rage, despair, interact or anything?
My answer, from reading your story: he doesn't. He simply sits back and observes his master or his slaves or his companions or his enemies twist, delighting in their twisting. What does he gain from their pain? What do they gain?
For what has he used his powers?
What is he hinted at using his powers for in future chapters?
The ending of this chapter empathetically states: nothing. "Don't send out alucarD to eliminate the enemy, because then the story would be over, so make sure his hands are tied."
Your alucarD, for the last nine chapters, and for some chapters to come, is a nothing, one-dimensional character, neither growing nor providing growth to your story. And when you pull out the stops on him, he's going to wave his magic wand and solve all the problems, like the good little deus ex machina he is, as the Hellsing fans all crow in their reviews: "Oh, alucarD is all-powerful! Oh, alucarD could take all the contestants with one look of his eyes! Oh, alucarD would resolve every issue raised!"
Or if he can't, it's because he's artificially and arbitrarily hobbled.
Good luck on this one, as I don't had advice on how to fix the problem of this overpowered but ultimately suspension-of-disbelief breaking (read: useless) character.
I am sorry: alucarD is entirely superfluous, nay, distracting, to your story.
2. Your coming out of Jasper is welcome, in and of itself, but Jasper, in his unmasking is a disappointment. [cut]
You took a risk in this chapter. You finally got something going in this story from its silly, fluffy premise, and I applaud you for that. But one risk you need to take is for you to get over your fear of the Hellsing crowd and re-masculate alucarD, regardless of the invective you get from them, because your alucarD is not only dead, he's dead weight to your story since page one. That's the first thing. The second thing is that you need to become, to become truly, the character in the spotlight. Who is Jasper? What is Jasper? Why is Jasper? You must answer those questions down to the spurs on his boots, his cheer in front of his men, and his absolutely winning record on ever single one of every battlefield he's ridden or run across, killing, killing, guiding his army, killing, and winning.
You could've kept this fluffic light. You chose to lift it to a serious enterprise. I applaud your choice. I praise your choice. But, in so choosing, you must gird yourself with the seriousness that turn demands, now, of you. And that seriousness is what?
Your characters. You must become 187 years old for Jasper. You must be a powerful, vengeful, unstoppable force for alucarD. You cannot play an easy-going game of musical chairs when you are threatened to have your sister, your mother, your wife, your father, and your husband burnt to ash right in front of your eyes. You cannot.
So, don't, LiLa. Don't.
Use that magic that you have in you and write a story that makes the Hellsing crowd and the Twilight crowd PROUD and HONORED to have read this piece, because, you, LiLa, have written it, and nobody else in the world could come close to what you did to edify both canons in this now serious crossover piece.
You have taken this serious step forward into the abyss. You cannot back down, now, into frivolity, triviality or slighted research and dedication.
"When the enemy attacks, charge."
Or, as Jasper shouted over the sound of muskets and the rallying bugle cry: "Charge!"
| marora chapter 9 . 7/4/2009
This is awesome so far! I really loved that you put in a princess bride quote. This officially makes you cool. Please update soon! I'm really enjoying this, it's hilarious!
| Haissan chapter 9 . 7/3/2009
What A Twist...I suppose I have bee in long waiting for this story! Finally its out! Yay!
| Tsuki no Rekuen chapter 9 . 7/3/2009
(as I write this review I'm reading the story at the same time, just so I can comment on the parts that stand out the most XD )
OMG! Princess Bride reference! I love that movie. XD It was the bunny! I know it was, it became a bunnicula didn't it and that was so sweet, rare and caring moment from Alucard in the midst of competition. He was more concerned for Integra Then keeping his spot, aw. XD Walter you sly devil you used your wires! XD I think Jasper's lucky they didn't take his feet off. O-O! oh no he didn't*says it like a black chick head shake and all*, he cut Seras... a tiny bit… what a cut throat... well as long as one kinda goes on… but OMG! I bet the pointers were about 40 to 50 years old XD wow, just wow. Lul to the Cullen's predicament, I knew IT, it was Millennium! No TV production would go that far... wait... so if this is set after the war with Millennium does that mean Alucard also has Schrodinger absorbed and thus able to be everywhere and nowhere? Well you also did mention it was AU which could mean that never happened... if you wanted it to. O_O Edward cursed, he’s growing! Now all he needs to do is stop sparkling and he might join my good list. XD …. Why is it down to the three I would vote out last … Alice, though she’s a myerpire, she has earned a loving place in my cold unforgiving heart. I love seeing Rosalie pissed with Alucard and Walter’s antics. And Walter, well he’s a lovable kickass old man, who still has skills even after who knows how long now. Ug now I feel torn. TTTT why those three, damn you Edward for gaining immunity! DAMN YOU MISTER IMPOSTER FOR MAKING NEW RULES! … wait… Major was an android… no… Dok died… but then technically Walter never betrayed Hellsing, in which in that case Dok must have not been killed, so thus he would be able to repair the Major… *eyes widen at plot development* I’m ganna stop there just incase someone reads my review before they read the story and see my crack pot theory. I wonder if I’m some what close to what’s happening… *gets lost in thought and strokes chin*
xDD wow, omg I did hope to never have that seen in my minds eye. But thankfully that are no sporks to be found in my house. Omg suspense! It kills me! Now I’m off to ponder who to vote off.. I actually might vote of a member of my favorite team. oAo! I love the story still! I’m so glade to see its updated! Keep up that wonderfully good work you do.
| bahleeeted chapter 9 . 7/3/2009
Spoilers for the end of Hellsing sprinkled all throughout:
Intro: Well, this does not bode well. Not one bit. :P Honestly, I would stick with what you originally wrote- that it's AU right after the Valentine Brothers' attack. If that just doesn't work, you're better off going post-anime, since all the main characters are still alive but the world knows about vampires by then. Making it post manga, even AU, is a huge headache for you and the readers both. I'm thinking you haven't actually gotten to the end yet, so let me give a *brief* list of what you have to explain/make AU and thus more confusing for everyone:
-Why Walter is still good and alive
-Why Alucard is back while Integra is still young (unless you're planning to go back and make her 52 for the whole survivor game, in which case I'm beyond confused about Walter)
-Why no one seems to care have changed personality even after living through WWI
-Why Seras isn't channeling Captain Bernadotte and acting more like she did towards the end of the manga
-Why Integra still has both eyes
-Why Alucard still has all his familiars
-Why Seras still has two normal-looking arms (unless she doesn't, but that wasn't mentioned except maybe for Chapter...2? and it wasn't totally clear what was going on,I think).
-Why my brain still hasn't exploded from trying to work this all out for you. XD
Yeah, I'd go with post-anime (after Integra is released from prison), hon... they'd still need the money for rebuilding, people would still know about them, but all of your characters stay alive and half the world wasn't blown up and/or eaten alive. Just my two cents, though, and I'm only tossing it in there, because I have a feeling you have no idea what you're getting yourself into by saying it's post-manga, lol.
I could totally see Seras and Alice competing to see who can find the cutest woodland animal. :D That made me squee and then giggle and finally just smile happily. XD Too cute. Yay for ROUS's! :D And I recognised my snippet of dialogue immediately, woohoo!
I don't know my Twilight history very well (Thank GOD for that), but wasn't Alice turned in the 1920's? I could just be pulling that out of my arse, but I could swear she was for some reason. Anyways, if she *was*, I highly doubt she would have played musical chairs before then. Actually, when was musical chairs created as a game? Hmm.
"Even Alucard - Mr. I can take all you punks at once with my eyes closed, hands tied behind my back, and my dick in your mother’s mouth"
*snorts milk out of nose* Hahaha! XD That's a good line. I lol'ed.
Sorry, but Walter wouldn't do the chair thing to Integra. Not in any canon. He adores her, considers her something of a daughter, and was so quiet about his turning on her in the manga that it shocked everyone. It's never about taking her down personally. He could conceivably have shoved anyone else out of the way (except Seras), but that's really not *him*. He IS incredibly fast, though, so him stealing the seat and having Integra sit on his lap and then being surprised he's already there is a possibility. She could possibly get so unnerved that she jumped up and tripped on her own feet and fell over if you still want Alucard rushing to her side. Honestly, I don't think he would have even been behind Integra. He would have been between two Twilighters for maximum Hellsing winnage probability. Sorry, but him pushing Integra (or anyone) out of the way is really, REALLY out of character for him to the point where I almost stopped reading the chapter.
Side gripe that it's probably too late to fix now, but I should mention Walter's never been motivated by money, ever. He always seems to be relatively well off in both canons, and he wants fame/attention more than money. The only reason he became a traitor (if he wasn't brainwashed somehow, which I'm more inclined to believe) was because he wanted to defeat Alucard in a battle and gain Integra and Seras's respect and admiration. So if he wants to win Survivor, he wants to do it because he'll be Seras and Integra's hero, not because he'll keep all the money to himself. He would NOT play dirty against his other characters to get the money, but he might VERY SNEAKILY go behind their back and set them up to get voted off first so it's up to him to save the day. He would give every bit of the money to Integra, since it's the praise he wants, not the cash.
No major complaints about Alucard so far...
Yay for Seras and Alice sorting out what's fair and who should sit! :D And also yay for Integra ordering Seras to sit, hehe. _ That was cute.
No, no, no. Walter has only EVER hurt Seras under SERIOUS mind control, and even then he was fighting against it the whole time (he was supposed to decapitate her but only ended up cutting her cheek and pressing the wires against her neck for ages. Even in the manga, when he's presumeably a traitor fully aware of what he's doing and Seras knows it, they share a touching moment where they tell each other to go in good health and Seras thanks him for "everything" and he looks at her sadly as she goes off with Integra. Walter does NOT hurt/push around women unless they're an immediate threat (i.e. hurting Integra). He would be fighting off Twilighters (i.e. Jasper) so that Integra would be pleased with him, not blatantly sabotaging his team. He's way too smart for that, even if he is scheming. asdfjsdlkjdiwkyh
However, I will say that Walter pulling Rosalie onto his lap was good. If he made a pact with Edward to watch out for him in exchange for immunity, he would definitely pull a move like that. But ONLY against another twilighter, or maybe Alucard. But I did grin at that, even though he wouldn't talk like that. I lol'ed at Edward thinking of Walter as Spiderman... "Spiderman, Spiderman, Does whatever an ageing, wire-slinging angel-of-death butler can, pours the tea just in time, look out! Here comes the Spiderman."
And NO YOU GAVE EDWARD IMMUNITY DAMN WE HAVE BEEN FOILED!11! This calls for an emergency meeting of the John and Rachel Anti-Twilight Club to decide who to vote out instead. Alice is awesome and Jasper is less annoying than Rosalie and I think we're both committed to not voting for Hellsing no matter how badly OOC the males are, so... yeah. XD But I'll convene with him before voting.
Videos from home: Wow, this just got a lot more interesting. And yeah, that kind of flowery threat from Edward is pretty in-character.
Argh. I have to say it again, you're way over your head with trying to do this manga/AU thing. Do you have IM? I'd be glad to help you work something out. *bangs head on desk repeatedly* I think at this point your best bet is to introduce Millennium for real and edit this chapter so Integra doesn't talk about killing the Major. Because AU is all well and good to a certain point, but it's generally done by either changing one detail (character A didn't die), or else diverging at a specific point like you had originally (Takes place after Point B, aka the Valentine's Brothers). If your AU is so confusing that your hardcore Hellsing fans can't figure out what's going on or how this is possibly supposed to work, you may have a problem. /
They're going to need Walter on the island, so again I can't vote for him... and now that he knows what's at stake, I know he'll be good and loyal to Integra and Seras if nothing else. At this point it's not about fame or fortune anymore- and he has a better shot of appearing to be their hero if he's protecting them. Walter would fight to the death to protect Seras and Integra. Now that he knows what would happen to them if they lost, he's going to fight long and hard to keep them from losing. But please, please, please at least read my Scribblings if NOTHING else before writing him anymore. *weeps for Walter's characterisation*
And Alice is funny and cute and keeps Jasper going. So, Rosalie it is. Besides, she needs to be with Emmett.
PS I read this with my camping spork sitting right next to me. :D My eyes are unscathed, somehow, though I can't speak for Tzuki no Rekuen.