Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island
Master of the Boot chapter 5 . 4/28/2009
Personally, you've outdone yourself.

First, that thing with Edward and Jasper was so wickedly awsome. I laughed loud and louder at that. Jasper had a good plan to get out of that, jab him in with the keys. Emmett's joking was magnificent. His complaining to Alice was so funny.

I have to say that you've captured Rosalie's personality perfectly. She's not even a shrew, she's a fucking snake. I raged like a Maniac after Carlisle was voted off, I love that guy! But oh well, the tribe has spoken. Again, I can't praise the meeting story enough. It was simply wonderful. A triumph of fanfiction it was.

I love how you describe the sinister nature of the immunity idols. I'm a little worried for our heroes. It was a little scary when Edward got a taste of the sucking sand. But it was way funny when Jasper pulled off Edward's shorts.

I have only one single request. Have Alucard give Rosalie the gears. Have her give him a snarky comment and then have him just verbally destroy her. Have him bring up Royce King and the whole nine yards.

Alucard, I've never seen him squeal but I think that I loved it very much. He's a funny guy. Way to ruin that badass image he's cultivated for himself. I like how Jasper called him a lazy, overrated prick, he is at times.

And Integra's moment with the Camera man was too hilarious. Hand it over Tubby. You're a lady genius.


MAster of teh Boot
EZB chapter 5 . 4/28/2009
"The wistful expression that crosses Alucard's face implies a symphony of emotions that have rarely stirred in the ancient Nosferatu outside one of Master of the Boot’s deranged stories." I Lol'd big time there. Inside joke FTW (for the win).

A GREAT chapter. The whole thing was just a whirlwind of events and emotions that really captivated me... and stuff. Personally, i loved Alucard all the way until he let out a girlsh scream. Sham on him. I know he's all h2o intolerant... but seriously. SERIOUSLY ALUCARD! I don't hate water! i just... can't swim.

Anyway, as soon as Carlisle was essentially the executioner for Rose or jasper, i knew it would be him in the end who would be let off the hook. But now i worry about those two. And Alucard...

Great history lesson w/ Alucard and Carlisle too. Really glad you asked for others to help out- sort of feels nice to have a say on the matter, just a little bit.

HAHAH Freud. i learned of him too. And he's nutty in my opinion.

But all this makes me wonder. And anticipate something rather BIG.

Carlisle warned them, and technically us, about Alucard's capacity for evil. Which makes it possible that something extreme may, or may not, happen. I can only wonder though. After all, i beleive the summary of your story is "Just when you think you have the game figured out, it’ll take a dark twist that NO ONE will see coming." So, i can only keep guessing.

O.M.G. - I got it!

MILLENIUM IS THE PRODUCERS OBVIOUSLY! THEY'RE THE REAL VILLIANS! BWAHAHAHAHA- RAWR! (turns into a single, massive, six foot bat and flies away screeching very bat-like)
geophf chapter 3 . 4/19/2009
Okay, I admit it, okay?

So I read another freaking chapter of your freaking vampire survivor story, okay?

But YOU CHEATED. You just had to go ahead and put "Rosalie" in a chapter title, knowing full well that it would force, I say, FORCE, geophf to read the whole freaking thing to find a Rosalie reference here, there, or anywhere.

What I found instead?

"Yup, that fog is having itself a good old time."

Hm. Emmett puking over Rosalie's engrossification?

And then she loses focus not once, but twice? TWICE? to lose TWO games of futbal?

WHY? WHY did you do this to me, LiLa? Making me read this chapter by putting the name 'Rosalie' in the title and then going and doing this (very) mean thing. It's like, you were saying to yourself:

"Self [that's how _I_ address myself when I'm talking to myself], let's see how we can take a perfectly good day where geophf is writing the chapter in MSR about Bella being (almost) caught with her pant(ies) down and distract him with some really nasty anti-Rosalie happenings on Vampire Island."

LiLa, my dear beta, why?

It can't be because you're a mean meanie, 'cause that ain't how you roll, baybee. Besides, why are you portraying yourself so horribly in your own fan fiction.

Whoops! Nobody's supposed to know that you're Rosalie, right? Don't worry. My lips are sealed; you're secret's safe with me, Mistress Rosalie.

your ever humble (and discreet) servant, geophf
geophf chapter 4 . 4/10/2009
My dear sweet LiLa,

I have a confession to make: I only read the first quarter of the chapter. Why? Well, the only part of the chapter worth reading is the Rosalie part right?

But I was cringing throughout the read! Rosalie, cheating on her Bella, even if it's to plot her own diabolical advancement, using Jasper like that so mercilessly. I was so scared, reading it, that she would turn her teasing to something more, and how would her Bella take that, stumbling on that scene of them in a rather more than delicate position.

Oh! Wait a minute! Emmett! I meant Emmett!

Sorry, still coming down from the high of writing 24k words of "Rose by a Lemon Tree", ch 7 "The Soul: the Singer" ...


Now, Mrs. LiLa, I'm glad to see you are giving our Rose the justice of your talents:

"Their desire mounts with each passing second, and both of them internally curse their unwavering dedication to their respective mates and this story’s strict adherence to its ‘T’ rating.

'Are you guys coming?' shouts Bella, who has backtracked to see what’s keeping them."

Brava, my dear Lady. In one sentence you mention a 'T' rating (earning snaps from this mathematician for the sly meta-descriptive writing), and in the very next sentence you have Bella and Rosalie coming.

How you got that past the fanfiction review board, I don't know! But it must be your awesome beta skilz, yo!

'Rosalie and Jasper glance quickly at her and drop their hands from their incriminating positions. Then they both call out innocently, “Coming!”'

More coming on Vampire Island. Dear, dear me! YOU complain that I raise the red flag about your mention of explosive diarrhea, but here you have the Twilight characters acting very much-more-than-T-rating-than-what-your-story-rating-suggests. Um, help?

And Jasper HALE and Rosalie HALE, coming together, right now, over ... vampire island? Sibling love, I believe, has gone a bit too far here. It must be the jungle air.

"One might say – if one had a very poor sort of sense of humor – that they were saved by the Bella."

La tua Bella cantata, indeed. Although, how did Bella 'save' them? Or is that running up against the 'T' rating thing, again? And from what were they saved? Are you sure the name of the island is not Cayenne? It seems rather steamy, hot and spicy here.


Now, as for footnote 1:

"(1) Description of Rosalie is stolen with permission from fanfiction story, My Sister Rosalie by geophf. It’s a wonderful story, and if any of you happen to have a bathroom fetish, you really should read it some time. But for the love of God, please learn from my mistakes and do NOT use the term ‘explosive diarrhea’ in your reviews. He doesn’t seem to like that very much."

Thank you for the mention. A point of order. Rosalie has flecks of red in her golden eyes right now because she is just barely out of the newborn stage, being a year in eternity only (MSR is set in 1934).

For those with bathroom fetishes, sorry that only occurs for the outhouse scenes in Belle Fourche, SD, which is, actually a small part of the trilogy. I know, my dear LiLa, that you enjoy those scenes immensely, but ...

For using the term excrement in your reviews, LiLa is correct, but really, who wants to receive a sh-t review?

Seriously, though, MSR ("My Sister Rosalie") is a piece about Hope, and it's a rather sad piece. Please don't be mislead by LiLa's light tone that this is a piece of light fluff. If you are looking for happiness, read LiLa's delightful pieces. I hope, however, that my work can offer something to the reader, and I thank you, LiLa, for your mention.

Cheers, geophf
autumnrose45 chapter 4 . 4/9/2009
Great chapter! Oh I hate the Cullens! But Bella's gone! Hooray! I loved the little 'always knew they'd end up entombed together'. Genius!
Xatvellan chapter 4 . 4/9/2009
Ah, how delightful - I come home from my last day of school before break and find that my favorite story has updated. D

As usual, an absolutely beautiful piece.

There are a few typos and grammatical errors, but I'm sure I'm the only one who noticed - I'm something of a grammar Nazi, you see. If you'd like, I can Beta this for you...I just want to help you out any way possible, really.

Ah, thank you SO very much for eliminating Bella. You did a wonderful job with keeping us in suspense until the very end, especially with everyone's comments at the end.

But ohman, the Walter and Integra scene...I knew it wasn't what it looked like, because of the T rating, but that still couldn't stop the images from flashing through my mind and the bile from rising up in my throat. D:

Still, well done. I originally thought it might have been a banana with the, er...mushy-ness. *cringes*

Oh, the Integra and Alucard scene...-_-

See, as much as I love the description and the extra screentime for Alucard-sama...See, it's really got nothing to do with you or your writing or the story at all, I just hate the AxI pairing...Or, really, Integra in general. Since I'm an Alucard-sama fangirl, I despise the thought of anyone else being with him...unless it's a guy. :3

On that note, ever considered doing some yaoi humor? Compromising positions with Alucard and maybe one of the Twilight boys? *squees*

Though I was loving them being on top of each other in the last chapter, heheh...:3

Welp, that's all I've got to say (I think). Keep up the fantastic work, and I'll see you in Chapter 5!
Tsuki no Rekuen chapter 4 . 4/9/2009
YEAS! Shes off! woh! Now to focus my resentment on Edward. I was a little worried on that scene with Walter and Integra... my mind dove straight in to the dirty gutter. I hope you enjoyed your vacation to Jacksonville. And LOL "Entombed together" xDD that was priceless.
EZB chapter 4 . 4/8/2009
Edward is relieved to see that the only thing on his brother’s mind at the moment is the big-ass barracuda he just annihilated.


*blasts a guitar made entirely of fire in his hands using magic, and begins to rock out to a instant replay of the Barracuda being ANNIHILATED!*

YEAH! *hits a pitch that would make Tenacious D proud, only then to explode and land roughly behind some rock*

Well... Ahem...

Now that i have the sugar rush out of me, and that I have a madness of imagination. Bwahahaha. Oh, and it's 1:20 right now...


Another chapter, this time with plotting and backstabbing (or so it felt when Bella was booted off) and less humor, but when i read the description of Seras running at Emmett in his dreamland fantasy, i could have sworn rockets and a parade ran around in my head. 3 cheers for impressions!

And finally, to respond to your message. I do believe that you are implying the Heavy AlucardxIntegra theme that made be go 'Aw-FANGS!'. Because, as you guessed, there is something of a love crisis going on (or at least brewing) in HSWC.

Good work, my master... DON'T BURN YOURSELF!



Master of the Boot chapter 4 . 4/8/2009
I have to say, that reading this story is very different from watching survivor.

When I read this story, I get hooked onto each of the characters like a fish to a hook. When a character is voted off, I get sad and I have to tell my brother that I'm not crying.

Honestly, public opinion may be against me, but I'm going to miss Bella. Your description of her as a drowning rat was highly effective, poor dear.

And Rosalie, don't get me started. I knew that she was a green eyed, gonhorrea driping whore, but I had no idea that she'd go so low as to try and seduce Jasper. Good call Bella!

Nice work with the Hellsing crew. I liked Alucard's comment about being entombed. Poor Walter has hard time with the vampires asleep. Lazy, lazy Alucard, don't ever change. Integra has alot to learn, like fires and long hair don't mix. Double lol to that. And for the missing clothes, more ominous signs? I hope it's not the Wamphyri on the Island, they're likely to steal Seras panties, while she's wearing them.

And final detail, I love how Edward AND Integra watch survivor. Netflix and stuff. HA-HAH! Good thing with the fish hunting.


MAster of teh Boot
Metropolis Kid chapter 4 . 4/8/2009
*Grinning like a maniac at seeing Bella voted off* Now we just need to get rid of Edward. Haha!

Well, not as humorous as the last chapter... but still quite enjoyable. I liked the way Rosa manipulated the situation to get Bella thrown out and save herself. That was fun.

And you were right about the AxI scene. I liked it quite a bit. Not really sure if she'd end up calling him master if he turned her. Which would be more powerful? The Hellsing seals or the vampiric bond? Actually, it'd be kind of funny if they both ended up having to call each other master. Hehe. Of course that's all academic since she'd never let him turn her anyway. But still, it was a very nice scene. And I did get a kick out of the entombed joke near the end. :)

Anyway, I'm glad to see you update this. Hope you continue it. :)

PS. Oh, and I'm guessing by Morgan Freemon you were referring to Lucius Fox. That's cool; I like him, second in command of Wayne enterprises and all. Thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.
bahleeeted chapter 4 . 4/8/2009
woohoo! When do we get Chapter 5? I'm SO glad Bella got voted off. Can we PLEASE, please, please lose Rosalie sometime soon too pleease?

*crosses fingers that all of Hellsing stays in the game until there are only four Cullens left* It's the only way to be fair. And need I remind you that Hellsing needs the money to protect you and I from the zombie legions, while the Cullens are going to squander it on their little sports cars and bikinis so they don't have to work? *cough* I'm just SAYING...

Anyways, nice chapter, though it seemed kind of short. How was Florida?
Breeze13 chapter 3 . 4/8/2009
Love it! _ Keep up the good work! You have a great style and uber funny ideas!
XxBirdxOfxHermesxX chapter 3 . 4/3/2009
I think that Rosalie should be disqualified, and...Hm...shit, We have to have both of the vampires on Team Hellsing, but...Aww, shit, which one! If it was me...probably Walter, because he's only a bulter, strong, but is a butler. Alucard and Seras are still stronger, and Integra needs to be there, otherwise...well, Alucard would do something that would probably get them disqualified. -smacks Alucard on the nose with a newspaper and then runs whenever he shots out of the coffin that he was sleeping in, shooting after me-


Alucard: I'll kill you!

Me: Kyaa~ Not fair! Damn vampire! DX -keeps running as fast as I can and runs into a room- Dear god..wait..-turns around slowly to see him sticking his head into the room, smiling sadistically-...Oh fuck. -ducks whenever he shots and tries to open the door, but it's locked-

Alcuard: You won't get away from me! -walks slowly towards me-

Me: -Backs up a bit and then charges for the door and kicks it off of it's henges, escaping the room-

Alucard: Fuck. -runs after me-

...Anyway. I love the story! Please, dear god, update sooner! XDD
Xatvellan chapter 3 . 3/31/2009
Ah, that was fantastic.

The "tit-illating" bit had me in stitches, though I do agree that Alucard-sama wouldn't be one to use it on a normal basis, like he did on the beach. Still, it's all good.

The mist trick was hilarious. Alucard and his pranks...Though I am disappointed that he was wearing all his clothes in this chapter. D:

I mean, really, we see uglified Emmett and Rosalie, but no sexy Alucard? Tsk, tsk. xD

Nevertheless, this was beautiful. Esme being voted off was a good idea, since she wasn't doing much for the plot, and Alucard-sama as the goalie was perfect - really, with his seven legs (yeah, loved that part, too) he can stop ANYTHING.

And yes, I have to agree that Seras is nowhere near Alucard's strength, but then again, Carlisle has no way of knowing that, especially since he saw Alucard so long ago...

Overall, fantastic, epic piece.

Here's hoping that Bella gets voted off.

Also, if you need a second Hellsing expert, I'm your gal. :3

Have fun in Florida, and come back safe!
Metropolis Kid chapter 3 . 3/30/2009
Well, I doubt I'll shed any tears for the Twilighters. I was actually chuckling while Esme got voted off... though I may feel a tiny amount of regret if/when Emmett, Rosalie and Alice get the boot. At least they're funny and don't annoy me like the rest of the Twilighters. :)

Anyway, good chapter; and despite your claim, I do think this is getting more humorous. :)

My favorite part was when Carlisle was trying to talk to the others about them getting jobs. That was bloody hilarious! Poor, Carl. Don't get me wrong, his 'goody, goody' attitude still annoys me more than nails on a chalk bored. (I mean these... 'things' are suppose to be vampires, MONSTERS!) But I feel a little bad for him. He must want to give his children some swift kicks in their rumps and telling them not to come back without a job. LoL

But then ending was ALMOST as good. :)

Oh, and BTW Alucard doesn't feel like a prisoner. At least he's never seemed that way to me. He gets a sick, perverted thrill out of serving his master. LoL; He even gets turned on when she blows her top... or orders him to the slaughter. Have you ever played a Star Wars game called "Knights of the Old Republic"? Alucard's a lot like HK-47.

PS. Also, the line, "It’s as I feared... She’s every bit as strong as Alucard, if not stronger." You seem kind of new to Hellsing, so I'll let this slide. But just for future reference Seras, although quite powerful and easily more than a match for the Twilighters, is no where near her Master's power level. She may be someday, but she'll have to drink a lot more blood first. Alucard's got the blood of somewhere around two million people flowing through his veins. Other than medical blood, Seras has only drunk Pip's... and a tiny amount of Integra's.

Well, still enjoying this. Hope you continue. Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.
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