Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island
EZB chapter 16 . 6/23/2010
Micheal Keaton. MICHEAL KEATON. ITS MICHEAL KEATON YOU STUPID, SENILE SACKS OF SHIT. ITS MICHEAL KEATON YOU CHILD MOLESTER!

I never heard that mans name be use so many times and be so important. Alucard must have been pissed. Buut...

Microwaves are important. Very important. For food you know! Especially when you are fucking hungry and the fastest way to repair it happens to be a mechanism that is inside a gun laying in the room only-

*shoves Zohall off the keyboard*

Fucking nuts. While i try never to hate anyone... Bella was asking for it. Alucard just made a lot of my friends days. And of course, Jasper coming out to be a badass in ways least expected.

Of course Walter would be getting action even in his fifties. That player.

I was pleased at the level of LOLs i got from this chapter and thankful, while at the same time upset, there wasn't nearly as much blood-letting as the previous ones.

The little tidbit with Alucard very much reminds me of the scene in The Big Hellsing before Alucard makes his bloody way across the states, when he, Zohall, and Leon are all discussing the works of Batman and the actors who portrayed him. Much, much fun!

Making progress at lightning speed!

EZB
EZB chapter 15 . 6/23/2010
I have forgotten how deliciously disturbing this story is. O_o Ever had a grenade shoved up your ass?

*thinks about it*

Nope, but it probably is going to happen to me in one of my omakes in the future... sooner or later.

Poor RVP. I thought the pain for her was over with 14... jeesus was i wrong. It seems like this chapter took the term 'She got raped by Alucard' a liiiitle too literally. Still awesome though.

Newton (to be honest i never got into the Twilight books in any real depth, or the movies for that matter... so his name skips me XD) GOT SERVED. Thank you Seras for being awesome, per usual. For some sick reason I love hearing about her kicking ass, but whenever Alucard goes haywire with his enemy i feel all icky.

By the way, i completely agree with the last thing said in this chapter. Women. Are. Dangerous. 110 percent true.

Well, it was nice to take a peek into the story that i have yet to read for ooh so long.

:D

EZB

ps: those bats are getting damn picky. one of them tried to steal my pickle in a burger. :(
Alastor Vega chapter 18 . 6/20/2010
Anderson as a bachelor, well, that one crazy selection. No hot tumbing or lip locking. Un less you wan ta liip lock with some cold hard still.

Just love Deadpool. He make you go crazier then you already are.

And I also think Dinobot taking out all the Pred wwas the best.

Great job and have a nice day.
BlackRitual chapter 18 . 6/18/2010
Mm, The Bachelor in "Survivor"...kinda cool! :D Anderson as the bachelor... XD "the zealotinous priest appears fortified and turns to stare down the devil's milk jugs." Careful, Anderson! XD you could get sucked in! And *bloop* there goes Jasper. Master and Vampire, who will "win? :3

I feel like I should know who that Deadpool guy is! DX

Smart Vampire-bunny. XD Always entertaining with Alucard around. (Let's name him Bunnicula! :3 )

Well done, Metropolis Kid! :D Unfortunately, I have no idea who the five Bachelorette vamps were. DX
theInsaneArtist chapter 18 . 6/16/2010
Exellent!

As for the Bachelorettes, let's see... We've got Heinkel Wolfe, obviously. I believe one is Buffy Summers. I'm not sure about the others off the top of my head...
Master of the Boot chapter 18 . 6/16/2010
To Metro K, I love Beast Wars. I don't care what episode, I just love it. I've read a few of your deadpool stories and they weren't as good as Deadpool is in this.

Reading Anderson's parts, you did not a bad job with his accent, Lion. THough I must say that I found his bible parts disturbingly mysoginist. Remind me to stay away from that book unless I need to make quotes for villains. For the Bachelorettes, I'm going to say Heinkel, Buffy and I'm going to gamble on Bloodrayne.

But what really sucked in this was that you made Alucard normal. For god's sake, his tame lines sounded like Edward Cullen. For once, let's have a vampire protagonist who's cruel, ruthless and really doesn't give a fuck about anything. No guilt, no remorse, no boundaries and no brooding! But other than that it was passable.

When the next chapter comes, my contribution is going to rock your socks off and return the universe to its normal balance.

Ta

Master of the Boot
justsimplymeagain chapter 18 . 6/16/2010
Omg... You have Deadpool in this now. You certainly have a crazy fanfic hear. Very entertaining to read. Though I have to say my favorite part is when Deadpool first arrives in your fic.

Update soon.
Jack Hawthorne chapter 18 . 6/16/2010
Hah! Nice one! D

And yeah, we never saw Deadpool coming:P but what's up with the long and female name that Deadpool said was his real name? If there was any sarcasm in that one, I didn't pick it up.

Also, the comment on "...those disturbing Disney sing-alongs!" was awesome xD

Now, I'll just try a bit on those bachelorettes... Though, I think I can only manage one. The "priest(-ess?)" is obviously Heinkel, oui? :P

Are all of those from Hellsing, or are there other fandoms involved too?
aleatoire726 chapter 5 . 6/15/2010
haha love it XD Lmao
Metropolis Kid chapter 18 . 6/15/2010
Hey, Lila, I'm afraid this one's going to be shorter than most because I don't think it's right for me to review any of the stuff we worked together on... and a good chuck of the rest I've already read and given you my input on. So this review will be pretty much confined to the opening.

First off: I'm sorry, but the only one of the girls I know for sure is Heinkel Wolfe, though I think that the other non-vampire MIGHT possibly be Buffy Summers? Meh, even if that's right, that's only two and I need three to count for anything. Well, that's okay. If it's down to just Alucard and Integra, I'm not sure I could choose between them anyway. So, what difference does it make if my vote (which I may not even cast) only counts for 1 point? Sour grapes? What sour grapes? Me? Surely you jest? ;P

Okay, moving on...

I must say I was surprised by Anderson's apparent animosity to women. Where did that come from? O_o Last I checked the Paladin's hated was reserved solely for vampires - didn't he even take the time to bless a prostitute once in the anime? Well, I guess three of the five women where vampires (and he certainly does hate vampires, so his hatred for them makes sense. Er, maybe you just couldn't find enough anti-vampire quotes in the Bible so you used anti-women ones instead? :p

Also, I think it's worth mentioning that I don't see Heinkel having to make any case for herself/himself. I'm not sure if it's ever outright stated, but it's implied that Anderson raised Heinkel, Yumie and Enrico in his orphanage. And, while he probably wouldn't be too keen on dating one of his 'children', I do think he'd do pretty much whatever he could to keep them out of Millennium's hands.

But discounting those canon issues, the writing itself was pretty amusing. Your parody of the Bachelor is on par with Family Guy's parody of the Bacheloret, save for that they were able to keep their's going for longer. Actually, I wouldn't find seeing more of this - the four current contestants on a date... a very disastrous date perhaps? - either as a follow up segment in the next chapter or a one-shot spin off. ;)

I especially liked the how Harrison was so uncaring about the fact that rather than love these contestants were gambling with their lives. Hehe. I guess Regis Philbin is the only reality TV host who's above the Major's corruption, huh? Who may have been forced into aiding the tiny despot but still has sympathy for his contestants. Regis Philbin: the reluctant host. ;p Also, the turn around that we saw in that “dark-haired slut” was rather amusing too. Can't help but feel it may have been more amusing if I actually knew who she was, but... Meh, it was still funny.

Well, anyway, I enjoyed your writing – as usual – and got a few laughs and chuckles out of the new spin on you put on that boring, uninteresting Bachelor show. Vampires, Nazis and Priests: who'd have figured? Hehe.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.
Haissan chapter 18 . 6/15/2010
LILO! hi..welcome back and thank you much I think although it was metro k that did it...the majority? well you can count on one thing or another, I am tired nighty night
xanimefanx14x chapter 17 . 5/16/2010
three cheers for the sweeney todd reference! i have to had it to you, this is one of the best stories i've every read. i haven't had a chance to read the last like four chapters for the longest time and i finally got around to it and i am very impressed.
Metropolis Kid chapter 17 . 5/12/2010
To be honest reading through the vast majority of this chapter felt more like a chore than a pleasure. I won't bother going into what bothered me about this chapter because... well, it would just take TOO long... and I don't think you really care to hear it anyway. So, I'll limit myself to the parts I did enjoy and a couple of references and not dwell on the bad... too much.

“Alucard utters a throaty proclamation. 'At last, my arm is complete again.'”

LoL Sweeney Todd reference.

“Integra's eyes narrow at Alucard.

'How was I to know it was a virgin? Is the term 'going at it like rabbits' just an urban legend then?'

Integra ignores the latest comment. 'How long have you known?'

'I had my suspicions when a ghoul monkey turned up, but it was confirmed when the furry little bastard took my eyes out in a totally unprovoked attack.'

'Well then,' Integra surmises, 'if it's your fledgling, you should be able to control it.'"

This was one of only two parts of this chapter that I really had fun reaing. Very nice Integra and Alucard interaction. :)

“Integra will tolerate no insubordination. 'Do not question me, slave.'”

Awww, and the sound of the other shoe falling. Not “slave”, “vampire”. She calls him “vampire”, or Alucard, or Soldier, or... you know the more common stuff. Also, she's the one who gave him bloody permission for that massacre in South America. “Kill them all! I order you to leave nothing but bloody stains in your wake!” Sound familiar? O_o

I will admit though the comment about animals hating the sparkly fairy's 'kind' was somewhat amusing.

“Jasper watches Alucard yank a weeks-old dead chicken out of his jacket and throw it aside. Then he grabs a used condom and throws that away.”

I'm not sure, was that a “The Mask” reference? It's been too long since I've seen that movie.

And now we come to the other part of the chapter that I had fun reading. That last scene was pretty good. I would've preferred it if Zorin's death had been bloodier, how I hate her. But, hey, the demonic piston wasn't too bad. And you made nice use of her illusions. Also, I liked the bunny who, “doesn't do any crippling damage, but it proves to be a pretty good distraction.” The Idol and 'rage' ghouls weren't bad either. AND that final exchange between Integra and Alucard was nice too. :) Even if it's got me wondering why she hollered for them to get her out of the tree when she just did it herself. O_o Oh well; it was still cute.

So, at least this chapter ended on a high note.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.

Oh, slight nitpick about something easily fixed. If the vampire bunny is Alucard's fledgling (or was at some point), the rabbit would have to be a she, not a he. Hellsing vamps can only turn virgins of the opposite sex into vampires.
BlackRitual chapter 17 . 5/12/2010
"Like kissing a man who you thought was a woman, you don't acknowledge it in any way except with knowing glances and awkward silence." XD XD I'm beginning to realize one of you has an unbelievable talent for alliterations.

Oh wow...imposter Integra...

Zorin...I hat her. Couldn't she die the first time, by Police Girl? :O

But-but-but I WANT Alucard to keep his shirt off! :D
Jack Hawthorne chapter 17 . 5/12/2010
Brilliant! Absolutely awesome! D

It was just one thing really; wehre did those rage ghouls come from? They kinda just popped up from nowhere it seems. :P

Looking forward to more, as usual! xD

Now, I'm going to go vote... Guess once who I'll vote off the island. xD
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