Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island
aleatoire726 chapter 5 . 6/15/2010
haha love it XD Lmao
Metropolis Kid chapter 18 . 6/15/2010
Hey, Lila, I'm afraid this one's going to be shorter than most because I don't think it's right for me to review any of the stuff we worked together on... and a good chuck of the rest I've already read and given you my input on. So this review will be pretty much confined to the opening.

First off: I'm sorry, but the only one of the girls I know for sure is Heinkel Wolfe, though I think that the other non-vampire MIGHT possibly be Buffy Summers? Meh, even if that's right, that's only two and I need three to count for anything. Well, that's okay. If it's down to just Alucard and Integra, I'm not sure I could choose between them anyway. So, what difference does it make if my vote (which I may not even cast) only counts for 1 point? Sour grapes? What sour grapes? Me? Surely you jest? ;P

Okay, moving on...

I must say I was surprised by Anderson's apparent animosity to women. Where did that come from? O_o Last I checked the Paladin's hated was reserved solely for vampires - didn't he even take the time to bless a prostitute once in the anime? Well, I guess three of the five women where vampires (and he certainly does hate vampires, so his hatred for them makes sense. Er, maybe you just couldn't find enough anti-vampire quotes in the Bible so you used anti-women ones instead? :p

Also, I think it's worth mentioning that I don't see Heinkel having to make any case for herself/himself. I'm not sure if it's ever outright stated, but it's implied that Anderson raised Heinkel, Yumie and Enrico in his orphanage. And, while he probably wouldn't be too keen on dating one of his 'children', I do think he'd do pretty much whatever he could to keep them out of Millennium's hands.

But discounting those canon issues, the writing itself was pretty amusing. Your parody of the Bachelor is on par with Family Guy's parody of the Bacheloret, save for that they were able to keep their's going for longer. Actually, I wouldn't find seeing more of this - the four current contestants on a date... a very disastrous date perhaps? - either as a follow up segment in the next chapter or a one-shot spin off. ;)

I especially liked the how Harrison was so uncaring about the fact that rather than love these contestants were gambling with their lives. Hehe. I guess Regis Philbin is the only reality TV host who's above the Major's corruption, huh? Who may have been forced into aiding the tiny despot but still has sympathy for his contestants. Regis Philbin: the reluctant host. ;p Also, the turn around that we saw in that “dark-haired slut” was rather amusing too. Can't help but feel it may have been more amusing if I actually knew who she was, but... Meh, it was still funny.

Well, anyway, I enjoyed your writing – as usual – and got a few laughs and chuckles out of the new spin on you put on that boring, uninteresting Bachelor show. Vampires, Nazis and Priests: who'd have figured? Hehe.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.
Haissan chapter 18 . 6/15/2010
LILO! hi..welcome back and thank you much I think although it was metro k that did it...the majority? well you can count on one thing or another, I am tired nighty night
xanimefanx14x chapter 17 . 5/16/2010
three cheers for the sweeney todd reference! i have to had it to you, this is one of the best stories i've every read. i haven't had a chance to read the last like four chapters for the longest time and i finally got around to it and i am very impressed.
Metropolis Kid chapter 17 . 5/12/2010
To be honest reading through the vast majority of this chapter felt more like a chore than a pleasure. I won't bother going into what bothered me about this chapter because... well, it would just take TOO long... and I don't think you really care to hear it anyway. So, I'll limit myself to the parts I did enjoy and a couple of references and not dwell on the bad... too much.

“Alucard utters a throaty proclamation. 'At last, my arm is complete again.'”

LoL Sweeney Todd reference.

“Integra's eyes narrow at Alucard.

'How was I to know it was a virgin? Is the term 'going at it like rabbits' just an urban legend then?'

Integra ignores the latest comment. 'How long have you known?'

'I had my suspicions when a ghoul monkey turned up, but it was confirmed when the furry little bastard took my eyes out in a totally unprovoked attack.'

'Well then,' Integra surmises, 'if it's your fledgling, you should be able to control it.'"

This was one of only two parts of this chapter that I really had fun reaing. Very nice Integra and Alucard interaction. :)

“Integra will tolerate no insubordination. 'Do not question me, slave.'”

Awww, and the sound of the other shoe falling. Not “slave”, “vampire”. She calls him “vampire”, or Alucard, or Soldier, or... you know the more common stuff. Also, she's the one who gave him bloody permission for that massacre in South America. “Kill them all! I order you to leave nothing but bloody stains in your wake!” Sound familiar? O_o

I will admit though the comment about animals hating the sparkly fairy's 'kind' was somewhat amusing.

“Jasper watches Alucard yank a weeks-old dead chicken out of his jacket and throw it aside. Then he grabs a used condom and throws that away.”

I'm not sure, was that a “The Mask” reference? It's been too long since I've seen that movie.

And now we come to the other part of the chapter that I had fun reading. That last scene was pretty good. I would've preferred it if Zorin's death had been bloodier, how I hate her. But, hey, the demonic piston wasn't too bad. And you made nice use of her illusions. Also, I liked the bunny who, “doesn't do any crippling damage, but it proves to be a pretty good distraction.” The Idol and 'rage' ghouls weren't bad either. AND that final exchange between Integra and Alucard was nice too. :) Even if it's got me wondering why she hollered for them to get her out of the tree when she just did it herself. O_o Oh well; it was still cute.

So, at least this chapter ended on a high note.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.

Oh, slight nitpick about something easily fixed. If the vampire bunny is Alucard's fledgling (or was at some point), the rabbit would have to be a she, not a he. Hellsing vamps can only turn virgins of the opposite sex into vampires.
BlackRitual chapter 17 . 5/12/2010
"Like kissing a man who you thought was a woman, you don't acknowledge it in any way except with knowing glances and awkward silence." XD XD I'm beginning to realize one of you has an unbelievable talent for alliterations.

Oh wow...imposter Integra...

Zorin...I hat her. Couldn't she die the first time, by Police Girl? :O

But-but-but I WANT Alucard to keep his shirt off! :D
Jack Hawthorne chapter 17 . 5/12/2010
Brilliant! Absolutely awesome! D

It was just one thing really; wehre did those rage ghouls come from? They kinda just popped up from nowhere it seems. :P

Looking forward to more, as usual! xD

Now, I'm going to go vote... Guess once who I'll vote off the island. xD
Tsuki no Rekuen chapter 17 . 5/11/2010
Sorry for not responding to your response, I've been to busy with my school. Dx But I think of Alucard like a dad... he reminds me of my father... creepily enough... those basterds.

Ok.. I'm at a loss for words...I mean there were parts I laughed at then... there was a part I never, never, never, ever want to think about EVER again, and it was a hairy chest. That my friend, was more disturbing then imaging a completely happy and preppy Integra. It topped my fear of clowns and needles. Alucard is still on the OOC side of things. Yes, he was a prince, but that doesn’t mean he was spoiled. He spent 3 years of his life from the age of 13 to 16 as a hostage with his younger brother to help his country by order of his father; who during Alucard's(Vlad's) imprisonment was killed by his Boyars and had his elder brother buried alive. During the years of his imprisonment not once did they treat him like a human, just because he refused to give up his religion. That man/vampire has been to the bottom of life and fought his way back to the top. He has a good reason for being how he his. Perhaps he wouldn’t tolerate insubordination, but he wouldn’t show it in a childish way. Now I've already grown tired of seeing the scream like a girl part. It did loose its luster back at the first boat-based challenge. I understand it’s for comical purposes and him doing so was to show he’s not that much of a heartless monster and that he does have the capacity care but at least show the character some respect, as you would the other characters, I digress. Amazingly, enough I’m more of a Walter fangirl then Alucard’s but I love them both equally. But that’s all my unhappiness and rant. :p And once more I apologize for the rant.

TTTT I feel horrible for voting Walter off I do.. but Jasper had immunity and I could never vote off Alucard or Integra, those two are the Yin and Yang of each other. But I'll make it up for Walter. ;-; The bunnah! YAY! I have to say it was weird for me to react with both the bunny and Alice XD I love them both I do. Is the bunny ganna be an ally? :3 I think I’m calling the bunny, Bunnicula from now on. XD The head soccer was hilarious using Bella that way I LOVED it. I did, and poor Probst I kinda feel sorry for him, though Walter left without being harmed made me happy it just sets up his inevitable betrayal ;-; *goes into denial about it* he was brain washed! Not willing brainwashed! TTTT WALTER! Porque! I hope I can see sexy Walter now XDD ahh, that badass cancer stick smoking youth he was. Freaking hot. But I’ll still keep reading. I have to know how this all ends. It seems Hellsing just might win XD Since there’s only one Cullen left.

Still faithful even when that damned time of the month hits, Tsuki no Rekuen
Master of the Boot chapter 17 . 5/11/2010
"For the love of God and the queen, do not throw that at me again." This was my favorite line in this chapter :) I got a good laugh out of that one.

You credit me with 94 percent of this chapter. THat's partly true. I just delivered a lump of meat, but you added the spices. Not much but it works worlds.

As I said, I was highly impressed with how you refined my fight scene with Zorin. Bella's lines were better this time around. I can really sympathize with the whole happy ending spoiled thing. After the drama of high school I was so relieved. Then I went into the Drama of University. So I totally sympathize with her, especially how Millennium is threatening her family. She may not be as touch as Sears but she'd make a great suicide bomber. THe first thing you'd see in hell would be her doe like face. :)

I also digged that line about her being too thick for Alucard's words to register. But hell, revenge is a lovely thing.

I liked that line about how Integra was a showoff when getting down from the tree. That was just sweet. Nice acrobatics, they were perfectly clear in my mind.

And there were just a ton of great details and great lines in this chapter. So you did a fine job with it. When you've got the time I'd love to discuss the next chapter.


Master of teh Boot
Captain DEagle chapter 16 . 4/8/2010
freaking A for these last three chapters \m/()\m/
xxyangxx2006 chapter 16 . 4/6/2010
Nice chapter can't wait for the next and I knew when Jasper got Rosalie he would win immunity.
Tsuki no Rekuen chapter 16 . 3/31/2010
Say whut? Ghetto Alucard? Not approved. I can understand him talking like any normal person can talk; I can understand sophisticated speech, but ghetto... I understand that the many souls he devours may obscure his true self but I don't know it’s the thought of imaging Alucard talk in that manner just makes me want to bitch-slap him and just say "No. Just no. White boys don be needing to talk black yo. S'not coo." shaking my head with the utmost disappointment. I just happen to be that kind of fan-girl that would love to be near him some 50 miles away or in a room with Integra near by. I am really sorry for having such a negative comment first but that really did irk me, its on par with a ghetto Orochimaru, you just don't see it ever happening. I can let the other things I may have complained about go without question but this felt like an insult to the character himself having been born a prince, and still held himself high in society even as a servant of Hellsing. I can’t even fathom the image of him lowering his speech to such a level need less to say if he was just mocking his pray, repeating their prideful words. Only then can I see it. Once again I apologize for the rant. I just need that to get out.

Now to the positive stuff~

Happy Alucard is a lot worse then sadistic/masochistic Alucard. Melancholy Alucard or calm Alucard are the best. “He feels pretty safe that no one would be so foolish as to expose his breed by publishing a novel about vampires that sparkle—they'd be laughed out of society” Pft XD right Twilight doesn’t exist at all. That’s right Aro, stay absolutely oblivious to the horror SMeyer has released into the world. Freggen pixies. XD But wow he really ‘cares’ for his brother. That was humorous Alucard knowing more about Movie topics then them. XD The reaction was priceless. I love it. It was beautiful. He hid the Jackal for last fell apart. Well its better then blowing up… and Walter trying to seem innocent, well like the phrase goes “The butler did it” still stands. XD But that really fails. Poor Zohall he’ll be lucky if Alucard forgets the fact he stole parts from his beloved gun. Oh dear ._. “unwittingly conjures a vision of Carlisle's altruistic and courageous bod wet, naked and glorious in a warm shower.” Poor dear she’s having cigar withdrawal hallucinations.”She reminds him of a nanny he used to bang when Integra was a small child.” Oh, damn. That’s just funny. It was slightly awkward but funny all at once. You made me the happiest person ever. He shot her in the mouth! Omg yes! He shut the bitch up. Hope is restored. XD lulz Rosalie got arrowed in the dead center, another lol.

It had a not so pleasant start but it ended with a smile on my face. I’m saddened to have to vote Sears off, really it hurt me to do so, but to finally get Edward off felt so nice. I hope nothing happens to the Police Girl. And the next three well its obvious who will bet taken off and fall in suit with the whole betrayal though I strongly believe he was brain washed. Its impossible to leave Alucard alone without Integra. That man needs her to keep him in line. I tried to out weigh the negative with more positives ; OOc is fine once in while but it just seemed to keep popping out more then liked. My faith in your story shall never falter, and I still wait for the next chapter.
Jack Hawthorne chapter 16 . 3/31/2010
GAH! You made Seras dissappear!

"Insert mad nerd-rage here."

Oh well. Atleast Edward dissappeared too.

Oh! I found a Forks Affair reference btw; the fact that Alucard loves Batman. D

As usual, a great chapter Now I'll have to go take the difficult choice on whom to vote away... Hmm...

Oh yeah, and as a side note; I'm soon finished rewriting my own hellsing story, so I might need you to betaread it a bit later xD
Metropolis Kid chapter 16 . 3/31/2010
I would comment on Alucard's gross OOC-ness in the beginning of this chapter, but I just see no point in that anymore. If after everything else I've already said, he's still getting lines like, “Wa'sup, Niggaz?” and 'strutting his stuff like a drug dealer in the hood' it's obvious that future comments on his character aren't going to do a bit of good. So, that's it – I'm done.

Moving on...

Okay, so IMO this chapter got off to a rocky start, but it improved considerably with the introduction of Regis Philbin and the whole Who Wants to be a Millionaire knock off. :)

I've never head of this Aro guy before (so I'm guessing he's from the Twilight series) and couldn't care less what happened to his brother. But the little digs about the person trying to publish a story where 'vampires' sparkled being laughed out of society was pretty amusing. (If only, right? If only...)

Also I got a kick out of that second question about the woodchuck. Funny thing though, I always thought the answer was, “He would chuck what a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood... wouldn't he?” :P But just having him randomly know an actual measurement worked out well too... and of course the organization of sparkly fairies would be the only ones dumb enough to waste their time actually trying to predict something like that. O_o LoL

Also Jasper's roller coaster of emotions regarding Regis' moral 'alignment' was mildly amusing in and of itself. :)

But the best part of that little skit was the Batman question. Oh, small point of fact though, the 1986 movie wasn't the 'original' big screen debut. Adam West actually stared in a big screen batman movie that was released in 1966. But then you do give the date of the movie you're talking about, so it's still clear that you're referring to the Keaton release – best Batman film to date. But maybe just cut the word original out of the text?

But, anyway, the fact that THAT would be the question none of the sparkly ones knew was hilarious! Probably afraid to watch the film 'cause Keaton – playing the part of a human in a giant bat costume – was still more vampire than they could ever hope to be. ;D

And I must say, though Alucard's reaction to them not knowing the answer to that quest was still OOC, it was funny enough that I really didn't mind in that instance. ;)

Oh, but the best part of that little skit was when Marcus went off on that mini-tangent about the Thomas Jane as the Punisher. While I do agree with him that The Punisher outclasses all of the Batman movies (slightly in some cases) in terms of dark/anti hero characters, only one of Miss Meyer's characters would be idiotic enough to start in on a rant like that when his brother's life LITERALLY hangs in the balance!

Anyway that whole scene CMU. And I thought it was very entertainingly ironic that at one point Alucard was actually trying to use his mental powers to help save one of the sparkly fakers – even if that would've only been a byproduct of getting the right answer from that (superhero challenged) Aro character. ;)

Urm... Integra should NOT be fantasying about any of the Cullens, even as a passing fantasy. They're week, insignificant idiots and wholly unworthy of her time... and she'd know that. She'd be as likely to fantasize about one of them as a dropped hammer would be to fall UP and into the sky.

That said the rest of the new challenge was a lot of fun. And I just had to chuckle at both your portrayal of Bella and Alucard's reaction. “Answer me one question and I'll tell you whatever you want," Alucard bargains while aims his weapon at the target. "Who played Bruce Wayne in the original Batman movie, released in 1989?"

"Wasn't it Christian Ba—chsdht." :) That was great! … And the only time this chapter where I thought Alucard was actually IC. ;)

So, anyway, thanks for the fun update. :) Have a good day, happy (almost) Easter and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.
BlackRitual chapter 16 . 3/31/2010
Alucard happy. Alucard Happy is definitely worse. O.O


"Swearing like a sailor with Tourettes syndrome" XD LOL, if that doesn't illustrate your point, nothing will.

X3 Watching Alucard go crazy due to the game show was fu~n. And ARGH Bella was annoying! DX Yay for Alucard!

Hoppy Easter to you too! *Bad-um, PSSH*
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