Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island
Master of the Boot chapter 16 . 3/31/2010
My dear, this was the best chapter of this story by far. Everyone and their dog is going to love it. The greatest Twi haters will read this chapter and praise you for your Godlike writing abilities. What impressed me most of all was how you took my contributions to this story and you made them better. You took the outcome of my brains and gave it a shot of nitrous oxide :) Your unique knowledge of the eighties gave you the nescessary knowledge to take Alucard's gangsta thing and mock it in ways that I wouldn't have been able to. Great job on the dope smile. I dind't even know the word dope could be used that way. :D

I just loved the references to my work :D It makes me feel so special. And those references were so subtle and intelligent, you deserve a gold medal for them. Even if you haven't read my work, you'd still find those litle parts to be hilarious. Thakns for calling Aro a child molesting freak. I love you for that. It was such a hilarous line. And to have it in bold font was the icing on the cake.

I have to say that I adored your portrayal of Jasper in this one. It's the best that you've ever portrayed him. I loved how he wanted to take down that blond bimbo, even going so far as to shove Alucard. Lucky Integra was there to keep things calm. While I've been writing Alucard, you've done good by him in this chapter. That line about Jasper curling up and sucking his thumb was brilliant. Then good old Jasper wins immunity. I'm not surprised but I'm very happy at that development. And his love of Regis is simply adorable. That's character development righ there. It helped to enrich him. "For regis." Actually on the whole, Regis has been a very enjoyable character in this. He was a very fun host to have on the story.

Integra ws phenomenal in this one. On the one hand she's the queen Goddess of Helsling, but she want to do so much "sharing." HAH! Innitially I was cold to the idea of Integra lusting after Edward, but now I'm all over the idea. I'm sold and I love her wanton lusting over the Cullen men. Never get sold :D

Edward and Seras were lovely in this one. You get ten points just for putting in a star trek reference like that XD. They were so cute together with their brother sister dynamic. Truly brilliant move to have Seras use Alucard's gangsta phrase. But Old man Alucard doesn't like Edward moving on his main fledgling. Oh Alucard, you're so suspicious. "ar be it from Edward to miss an opportunity to brood." Somebody has to, it's his schtick. Sides, you're not going to get any brooding out of Alucard ;)

The individual cullens were fun. Bella's lines rang a bit hollow. They weren't out of charcter or anything, but it was almost like you copy and pasted lines from the book. Even if you hate a character, try to be original with hating them. But I have to give you a gold star for shooting Bella. She needed to be shot after she thought that Christian Bale was the original batman. Ignorant child like that, not surprised she's not acquainted with all the good things in life.

That was fun, but now I have to go and do some homework.

Ta

Master of teh Boot

PS: Tell FAllen monkey that I send her my best regards :D
BlackRitual chapter 15 . 3/14/2010
BR! Psynchopathic, Alucard... whoo!

XD Love the description of Alucard's smile. "It deserves it's own emoticon." LOL!

XD XD DOUBLY love the ventriloquism. Awesome...detail? X3

Edward's head as a weapon...wo~ws...

You know what I always like about this fic? Each chapter is LONG. :3
Fangedfrog chapter 15 . 3/7/2010
Glad you're back!
Keaydee chapter 10 . 3/7/2010
OMG! It's LEON SCOTT KENNEDY!

MUST. READ. ON!
Keaydee chapter 1 . 3/7/2010
TEAM HELLSING
Tsuki no Rekuen chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
Wow I'm at a loss for words for the first half. It was gory and pretty descriptive enough to visualize. I think I actually felt sorry for Rip. Really. I will need to comment that Alucard was over the top at some points, though the 'puppet show' was entertaining, it felt out of place. As I would doubt Alu being the type that would love to desecrate already mutilated body that would show and form of reaction that would satisfy that nut. The imagery was wonderful to read for this half of the story.

*flinch* ow that has to hurt... Rastafarian? That really sounds close to Pastafarian (it’s a pasta religion don't ask just Google it). Lets just hope this unstet doesn't come back, since he went out with a bang. XD

I don't have much to comment on for this segment.

My, I would of never expected Eddikins to have the same kind of brutality Alucard would posses. I'm impressed, just a little.

I will say I love this quote: "Sorry Cullen. I know you'd rather have this pole stuck up your ass, but this thing is staying right where it is," xDD that cracked me up!

I gatta say, talk about stoning a person to death. I would doubt Bella being anywhere as dangerous as Sears who had a history of violence since childhood, but I will say calling a virgin a bimbo is the worst mistake this 'Mike Newton' has ever made and paid for it dearly. You can call her Police Girl but anything degrading will wined you in the hospital.

~Congrats on getting published!~

You managed to draw my attention away from Dracula: The Un-dead by Dacre Stoker. The chapter over all seems to have lost the finesse it had in the beginning. Characters seemed to have gone astray, though I know it’s not easy to keep a character always in check. It was great to read again after all this time but something seems missing. I just can’t put my finger on it. I’ll be waiting for the next chapter!
Metropolis Kid chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
Sorry, to say this, but I found this chapter to be rather 'eh'. It wasn't what I would call bad, but... I don't know. Maybe I my anticipation had just built up too much from the waiting. Or maybe it's the fact that this was almost all combat focused, which - as I mentioned before - isn't my favorite type of chapter. Anyway, I'm hoping that the next one gets back to the funny, lighthearted roots this story started with.

That said, there were a couple of things I think are worth commenting on:

Rip's death was surprisingly... er, 'believable' I guess is the most accurate term I can think of. It wasn't the kind of thing I would've penned - not between those two anyway - but it was well written... and I could actually get through it without shaking my head and thinking, 'that's just not the kind of thing Alucard would ever do'. So, that worked out well. :)

However, I can't picture Alucard pulling that little puppet show afterwards. Nor do I think it's in character for him to be commenting about... er, 'having fun' with the leftovers once he's alone and there's no one left to disturb or torture with such things.

The Jamaican vampire was an absolute idiot, and I'm surprised that the major didn't roast him with the nanities he implants in all his experiments. Still, it was amusing to read about Integra driving her busted sword through one of the sparkly fairy's groins. :) If only it had been Mr. Sparkles himself who'd gotten castrated! LoL

Speaking of Mr. Sparkles, it was also pretty amusing to read about that Mike guy - quite literally - tearing him apart. And I'm glad Seras was the only who got to KO that obnoxious jerk - er, Mike (this time, I'm not referring to MR. Sparkles). He certainly had it coming after what he'd said to her. :) Though I do have to wonder why she bothered to use the Cullen's head in her assault. O_o

She's got a whole freaken arm made of shape-shifting shadow matter. I think she could've pummeled Mike just fine on her own. ;P

So, as you can probably tell, I did like some parts of this. But... it's just that - for the length of the chapter - I don't know, guess I was just hoping for either a little bit of character or plot development, rather than another extended fight scene. You know what I mean?

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.

PS. Oh, and as someone who's currently in the process of reading Three Daves, I'd like to compliment you again on that story. 'Tis fun, funny, witty and even comes packed with a cleverly concealed moral or two... or three. Really, a wonderful read. :D I'm so very glad you were able to get it published! ;)
Jack Hawthorne chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
As awesome as always! And no, I'm not saying that just because I helped write it. xD

Now, who to kick off the island... xD
EclipsedbyJacob chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
Congrats on publishing! I've heard a lot about omnific recently. I'll have to check it out!

So, first off, loved Alucard as always! He was deliciously disgusting! I really thought this one brought out the madman aspect of his personality.

And Seras using Eddie's head as a weapon was...well...sick and twisted. I'm not really sure what to say about it. It was definitely gross and absolutely hilarious.

Oh, and kudos on giving the unstet a weak spot...like dragons or what not.

Glad you're back at it!
Master of the Boot chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
My lady, my lady, oh my lady! It's good to see this up again! Excellent job on your part and excellent job on the part of Jack the Reaper.

Let me say that the fight with Rasta man was phenomenal. I used to think that I was great with accents. But after reading this, I've got to say that you are a master of the broque equal or superior to myself. That was a phenomenal fight with captured the true spirit of Hellsing. As always there were a number of quotes which were just too beautiful for words.

"This is not over yet, so just sit back and try to enjoy it." That line was totally terrifying, much scarier than the first one I came up with.

"You'll not be hurtin' me with yer lilly toys, mon." I wish I talked like that.

He's less like a meat puppet and more like a sturdy block of sculpted marble." I loved that analogy. You've got a great brain.

The defeat of the Rasta man was very funny and very cool at the same time. Poor bastard, oh well, I guess observing the Cullen's crotches has its uses after all. One more priceless line from you I might add :)

And the fight with Newton. DAMN! That was some mighty fine writing! Compared to the first draft I beta edited, it's pure gold. I loved all those dirty details, like Edward crushing the guy's hips before peeling off his face. Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Loved that bit. Then he crushed the guy's head in his hands. Can you guess that I'm an evil dead fan? Cause you hit all the right buttons with that move.

Then the fight with Mike was some kind of wonderful. It had that level of dirty and down that it needed while still keeping that girlish charm you bring to the table ;) The broken ribs were a nice touch, as was the detail of driving the spike through Edward's throat. I loved that!

I had a good laugh at the mental image of Edward's headless body beating up Mike Newton. That reminds me of the best part of Evil Dead 2. Also enjoyable was the bit where the Unstet venom blister's mike's lips. Nice touch, little smudge of realism makes the rest of the painting look that much better.

Mike's meeting with the Major was great. I'm glad that you put that one in. It makes a whole lot more sense and it's fun too.

Nice bit there about Seras suffering from female indignation. Now, that's what I call gender emancipation. Taking the head of your homeboy and using it to beat in the head of a loser boy. That's justice. Nice job on the missing tooth by the way. It could be anybody's tooth, which is what makes it so fun. This is where your value as a writer comes in. You're just that good that you can outwrite me any day.

It's been a hoot n' a holler. Send my thanks to Jack.

Ta

Master of the Boot
bahleeeted chapter 14 . 12/17/2009
Alucard is still horribly OOC... And seriously, Walter and Integra should have no trouble killing 10-12 vampires between the two of them.

LOL "lead us to kill the sparkling heretic"! Well, I have a hard time not sypmathising with that. XD

Who's Newton?
bahleeeted chapter 13 . 12/17/2009
"Beat the living piss out of you" really doesn't sound like Seras...

Wait, if I'm not doing my math wrong (which would actually be a miracle), EDWARD got voted off the island- Jasper, Alice, and Seras all voted for him, right? *scratches head*

Seras wouldn't suggest torture, and she'd barely condone it even with their lives at stake. She would not be able to participate in it unless she was seriously disgusted and furious (i.e. the love of her life being brutally murdered trying to save her). It would have to be major.

lol Alucard... is he trying to let Integra and Walter win? Hm. I will have to read on. lol! "So, how is everything going?"

I didn't realise there was a gay way to saunter... is there a lesbian way to saunter that I should be utilising? :P hehe, Mr. Sparkles.

lol Seras. "I didn't know rabbits could be so angry. Or that they had such sharp teeth."

Alucard is totally OOC at the volcano. A little before that too but holy cow that isn't Alucard. Sounds like that may not be your fault, though.
bahleeeted chapter 12 . 12/17/2009
lol nailing probst in the head. XD

NO! Not Alice. :( Now I can only hope the other two horrible Cullens go away. Ugh.
bahleeeted chapter 11 . 12/17/2009
Kaylee wanted me to finish the story, so now that I'm on break I decided to oblige her. She LOVED the vampire-bunny (at least, we're guessing that's who made the monkey a ghoul!) and laughed so hard at Alucard wanting to meet the vampire and thinking it'll be a real challenge!

Personally, I see Alice being the one to ask if Alucard has lice, not the other way around...

Also, I was slightly disappointed from the chapter title that no one said "I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat, everybody look at me cause I'm sailin' on a boat..." XD
fallen monkey chapter 14 . 12/7/2009
Oh holy hell! I have yet to eat dinner, but I'll have to wait for my stomach to settle. This chapter is beyond intense. My God, LiLa and Master of the Boot, what masterful, sinister action! The womenfolk are absolutely fierce in this chapter-way to represent, Team Estrogen! And Alucard...I'm at a loss for words for his sadistic activity...what I can't say I can instead see, hear, and smell: streaming and spiraling blood in the air, crunching bones and gristle, and the scent of seared, rotted flesh.

And still from all this I can still pluck out the humor I so adore:

“What’s more surprising is that he’d been able to sneak the weapon past CBS security on the way in.”

“It’s the lamest thing Jasper has ever heard.”

“Even with advanced regeneration, he won’t be getting up from that.”

“Jasper grits his teeth as the flamethrower Nazi tries to turn him into Southern barbecue…”

“Round after round of bullets rip away at his overpriced Hollister tee and Abercrombie cargo shorts…”

“‘Newton?’ Edward says, feeling a bit like Leisl when she first saw young Rolf dolled up in his Nazi uniform.”

“His impatient dismembered arm, meanwhile, is taking matters into its own hand.”

“…while they cry and beg for the painless death that they ain’t gonna get.”

“The further screams of the troops under her command spurn her to get her ass moving, even though her ass is about ten feet behind her and severed from her body.”

“By now, Jasper’s heart is split nearly in half by the contrasting emotions in the cave. He just wants to get out of here. He wants to go home and go shopping with Alice, listen to Edward’s music and put up with Rose’s vanity.”

So...how in hell did Mike Newton become a Nazi vampire? Oh please say there will be some backstory on this; I'm getting huge kick out of it. Ah, and last thought: brilliant use of Jasper's empathetic gift...that made for a suspenseful side-battle of inner conflict (a creepy one at that when he smiles like Alucard and softly repeats after Rip).

* Shudder * I feel like my monitor gave me 4D effects on this one-excuse me as I go wash the gore from my face :)

Onward to Chapter 15! I'm rubbing my hands together in anticipation of the next vote...
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