Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island
Jack Hawthorne chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
As awesome as always! And no, I'm not saying that just because I helped write it. xD

Now, who to kick off the island... xD
EclipsedbyJacob chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
Congrats on publishing! I've heard a lot about omnific recently. I'll have to check it out!

So, first off, loved Alucard as always! He was deliciously disgusting! I really thought this one brought out the madman aspect of his personality.

And Seras using Eddie's head as a weapon was...well...sick and twisted. I'm not really sure what to say about it. It was definitely gross and absolutely hilarious.

Oh, and kudos on giving the unstet a weak dragons or what not.

Glad you're back at it!
Master of the Boot chapter 15 . 3/5/2010
My lady, my lady, oh my lady! It's good to see this up again! Excellent job on your part and excellent job on the part of Jack the Reaper.

Let me say that the fight with Rasta man was phenomenal. I used to think that I was great with accents. But after reading this, I've got to say that you are a master of the broque equal or superior to myself. That was a phenomenal fight with captured the true spirit of Hellsing. As always there were a number of quotes which were just too beautiful for words.

"This is not over yet, so just sit back and try to enjoy it." That line was totally terrifying, much scarier than the first one I came up with.

"You'll not be hurtin' me with yer lilly toys, mon." I wish I talked like that.

He's less like a meat puppet and more like a sturdy block of sculpted marble." I loved that analogy. You've got a great brain.

The defeat of the Rasta man was very funny and very cool at the same time. Poor bastard, oh well, I guess observing the Cullen's crotches has its uses after all. One more priceless line from you I might add :)

And the fight with Newton. DAMN! That was some mighty fine writing! Compared to the first draft I beta edited, it's pure gold. I loved all those dirty details, like Edward crushing the guy's hips before peeling off his face. Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Loved that bit. Then he crushed the guy's head in his hands. Can you guess that I'm an evil dead fan? Cause you hit all the right buttons with that move.

Then the fight with Mike was some kind of wonderful. It had that level of dirty and down that it needed while still keeping that girlish charm you bring to the table ;) The broken ribs were a nice touch, as was the detail of driving the spike through Edward's throat. I loved that!

I had a good laugh at the mental image of Edward's headless body beating up Mike Newton. That reminds me of the best part of Evil Dead 2. Also enjoyable was the bit where the Unstet venom blister's mike's lips. Nice touch, little smudge of realism makes the rest of the painting look that much better.

Mike's meeting with the Major was great. I'm glad that you put that one in. It makes a whole lot more sense and it's fun too.

Nice bit there about Seras suffering from female indignation. Now, that's what I call gender emancipation. Taking the head of your homeboy and using it to beat in the head of a loser boy. That's justice. Nice job on the missing tooth by the way. It could be anybody's tooth, which is what makes it so fun. This is where your value as a writer comes in. You're just that good that you can outwrite me any day.

It's been a hoot n' a holler. Send my thanks to Jack.


Master of the Boot
bahleeeted chapter 14 . 12/17/2009
Alucard is still horribly OOC... And seriously, Walter and Integra should have no trouble killing 10-12 vampires between the two of them.

LOL "lead us to kill the sparkling heretic"! Well, I have a hard time not sypmathising with that. XD

Who's Newton?
bahleeeted chapter 13 . 12/17/2009
"Beat the living piss out of you" really doesn't sound like Seras...

Wait, if I'm not doing my math wrong (which would actually be a miracle), EDWARD got voted off the island- Jasper, Alice, and Seras all voted for him, right? *scratches head*

Seras wouldn't suggest torture, and she'd barely condone it even with their lives at stake. She would not be able to participate in it unless she was seriously disgusted and furious (i.e. the love of her life being brutally murdered trying to save her). It would have to be major.

lol Alucard... is he trying to let Integra and Walter win? Hm. I will have to read on. lol! "So, how is everything going?"

I didn't realise there was a gay way to saunter... is there a lesbian way to saunter that I should be utilising? :P hehe, Mr. Sparkles.

lol Seras. "I didn't know rabbits could be so angry. Or that they had such sharp teeth."

Alucard is totally OOC at the volcano. A little before that too but holy cow that isn't Alucard. Sounds like that may not be your fault, though.
bahleeeted chapter 12 . 12/17/2009
lol nailing probst in the head. XD

NO! Not Alice. :( Now I can only hope the other two horrible Cullens go away. Ugh.
bahleeeted chapter 11 . 12/17/2009
Kaylee wanted me to finish the story, so now that I'm on break I decided to oblige her. She LOVED the vampire-bunny (at least, we're guessing that's who made the monkey a ghoul!) and laughed so hard at Alucard wanting to meet the vampire and thinking it'll be a real challenge!

Personally, I see Alice being the one to ask if Alucard has lice, not the other way around...

Also, I was slightly disappointed from the chapter title that no one said "I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat, everybody look at me cause I'm sailin' on a boat..." XD
fallen monkey chapter 14 . 12/7/2009
Oh holy hell! I have yet to eat dinner, but I'll have to wait for my stomach to settle. This chapter is beyond intense. My God, LiLa and Master of the Boot, what masterful, sinister action! The womenfolk are absolutely fierce in this chapter-way to represent, Team Estrogen! And Alucard...I'm at a loss for words for his sadistic activity...what I can't say I can instead see, hear, and smell: streaming and spiraling blood in the air, crunching bones and gristle, and the scent of seared, rotted flesh.

And still from all this I can still pluck out the humor I so adore:

“What’s more surprising is that he’d been able to sneak the weapon past CBS security on the way in.”

“It’s the lamest thing Jasper has ever heard.”

“Even with advanced regeneration, he won’t be getting up from that.”

“Jasper grits his teeth as the flamethrower Nazi tries to turn him into Southern barbecue…”

“Round after round of bullets rip away at his overpriced Hollister tee and Abercrombie cargo shorts…”

“‘Newton?’ Edward says, feeling a bit like Leisl when she first saw young Rolf dolled up in his Nazi uniform.”

“His impatient dismembered arm, meanwhile, is taking matters into its own hand.”

“…while they cry and beg for the painless death that they ain’t gonna get.”

“The further screams of the troops under her command spurn her to get her ass moving, even though her ass is about ten feet behind her and severed from her body.”

“By now, Jasper’s heart is split nearly in half by the contrasting emotions in the cave. He just wants to get out of here. He wants to go home and go shopping with Alice, listen to Edward’s music and put up with Rose’s vanity.” in hell did Mike Newton become a Nazi vampire? Oh please say there will be some backstory on this; I'm getting huge kick out of it. Ah, and last thought: brilliant use of Jasper's empathetic gift...that made for a suspenseful side-battle of inner conflict (a creepy one at that when he smiles like Alucard and softly repeats after Rip).

* Shudder * I feel like my monitor gave me 4D effects on this one-excuse me as I go wash the gore from my face :)

Onward to Chapter 15! I'm rubbing my hands together in anticipation of the next vote...
EclipsedbyJacob chapter 14 . 11/29/2009
Great deal of violence is right! This is right up my alley! I apologize for it taking so long to read the update, but it was amazing as always! I have to say, i too love the darkness MtoB puts into Alucard. This is what I've been waiting for! Even Walter and Integra put up a good show. I also like that Seras is the one who takes out their group. I just like that Edward is so full of himself, but he's not the one to save the day. Can't wait to see what happens next, and who's going home!
Jack Hawthorne chapter 14 . 11/24/2009
NO... Its not finished yet!

Darnit, I knew I should have sticked to completed stories, that way I always get to read the whole thing... :D

Anyways, this stuff is completely brilliant. I dare say this is the greatest story Ive read hereD

Not only did you manage to "simplify" everyhting so that even people with no basic knowledge of the stuff (Like me with the Twilight folk) can enjoy it, but you also manage to crack jokes at both the Hellsing fans (like me) AND the Twilight-fans:D

And, I might add, the jokes are also so good that you laught at them, even when they are poking fun at your favouritesD

And, back to the "no-basic-knowledge-required" style in the story: Not only does it let people with no knowledge of the universes in question read and enjoy your story, but it actually teaches them a wee bit about it too! D

Then, in the later chapters, you masterfully manages to integrate the Hellsing plot into the Survivor setting:D

I really really look forward to the next chapter, and any chapter after that tooD

However...There is one grave misstake that Ive noted. It might be my bad, if Ive read wrong, but I will assume I read it correctly.

You said in the earlier chapters that Integra had white skin, oui? Well, she doesnt. D She actually has a quite nice tan, due to her mother beeing from India.


Now, I am pretty sure that was everything. Keep up the great work! D
EZB chapter 14 . 11/23/2009



This is by far the darkest, most brooding, and bloodiest of the chapters. And somehow the one i find my stomach churning at once again.


Still, very cool chapter, however i must admit i was completely pulled in onto the fight with Jasper and Alucard vs Rip and crew. Mostly because I'm sucha Rip fanatic... but damn it was dark as hell when Alucard again did his job... and then some.

A very effective chapter, and one i will be sure to read again and again later on.


ps i could totaly see where Boots writing came in :P
EZB chapter 13 . 11/23/2009
“What?” Seras gasps sharply. Getting rid of Leon hadn’t been part of her plan.

Integra shakes her head. “Yes, that’s an excellent idea, servant. Even if he wants to help us, he’s still under the Major’s control. But don’t worry, Seras; we’re not going to hurt him.”

“What?” Alucard bellows sharply. Not hurting Kennedy hadn’t been part of his plan.

I FUCKING LOVE THAT PART. I almost fell out of my chair just imaging first Seras' look of despair that what Alucard would do to poor leon, and then Alucards look of loss when he realizes that he cannot torture Leon as much as he desire to. WHAT AN AWESOME CHAPTER.

And the make out scene... 8D Nice. Even if it meant Alucard stuffing something into his mouth, i bet it was worth it.

Alucard these days just likes to be as masochistic as possible! DAMN, poor Jasper. But at least he got to snap for a moment and disintegrate Alucards head with a PUNCH!

It just looked like Jasper should have shouted "FALCOON... PUNCH!"

And of course, Alucard screaming like a little girl once again. ahh good times. Good times.

I'll get to reviewing the other chapters after Classes!

Metropolis Kid chapter 14 . 11/14/2009
Um... if Alucard's had a shotgun with him this whole time, why did he only just now pull it out? I mean I can think of a few times when it would've been useful in the past. Also, I'd think Alucard (who spends his life hunting vampires) would've had enough sense to load the weapon with Dragon's Breath rounds, which would've seared through Jasper's chest like lightning through a tree.

And why would Alucard use marijuana? If he wanted a high, I'm pretty sure he'd just find some pretty, young thing to bleed dry. I'd imagine that, to a vampire, the blood of sweet youth would be far more... stimulating than any *human* drug could ever be.

Oh well, at least the bunny scene was funny. And Alucard was certainly... *closer* to the way I picture him here. I think he's smarter and understands a lot more than you're giving him credit for, but at least there were no airplane noises. And you did manage to capture his violent, more aggressive side. :)

Also, it was amusing to read about Rip's bullet's effects on the Twilighter, “...the exit wounds are the size of bowling balls. He can feel that several of his ribs are shattered, and the muscles below his left shoulder blade and in his abdomen are obliterated.” If only it had happened to Mr. Sparkles instead of his 'brother'. *Sigh* Well, it was a good description either way.

Now, on to the Integra and Walter scene. I'll agree with you that Integra's rapier would be little good against a whole pack of vampire 'freaks' (She could dispatch one or two without a problem, I think, but more than that would certainly be pushing it), however I think you're underestimating Walter's wires. Those things are incredibly deadly and able to ensnare and cut to pieces several targets at once. I doubt he'd feel the need to take cover behind a tree. Still... it was amusing to picture the faux vampires being crushed by the tree that their own 'buddies' were cutting down. So, I'm not really going to complain about it, just wanted you to know for future reference.

And the scene that takes place after Walter looses his cover definitely does the old guy justice- the quick decapitation and yo-yo trick are very fitting in my opinion. :)

As for Integra... the scene's passable. I don't think she'd be quite as much of a damsel in distress as you made her with the second vampire (when it had her by the shoulders). Keep in mind she's spent her whole life training to fight them. But her actions up to that point were cool enough to make up for that.

“Yes, the Major has told his troops about the Cullens’ refusal to partake of human blood and their overall concern for human life. Needless to say, the Nazi soldiers are angered and offended by these claims. To think that such creatures call themselves vampires!”

Um... never really thought I'd say this. But, I agree with the Nazis (about this at least). The Cullens really have no right to call themselves 'vampires'.

I believe you made a mistake with the flamethrower. At first it's portrayed as a threat to Jasper. (“They’ve come with the right weapons necessary to kill an Unstet. One in the back is hauling around a massive flamethrower that is meant to be carried on a vehicle.”) And then, suddenly, it's nothing but an annoyance (if that). I'll admit that I'm far from an expert on Twilighters; but, regardless of whatever the canon says, your fic should remain constant in its assertions. Either the flamethrower is a threat... or it's not. Unless some outside force acts upon one of the characters, to explain such a change, going from a threat to a non-threat is a no-no.

“The magic bullet never misses, but an un-aimed gun never hits what you want it to.”

Um, must work differently than an arrow. :P (If you're reading this, Boot, don't worry about that comment – inside joke based on a book Lila's read, not meant to be anything negative about the line itself.)

The final scene between Alucard and Rip was pretty good though. The descriptions were nicely done. Most of Alucard's lines were believable, and I think you captured the overall feel of Rip's canon demise (even if you did change things around a little). So, that was nice. :)

Anyway, not much to this chapter other than fighting, so there's not much more to comment on. Pure action chapters are never my favorites, but this one was pretty good (for what it was).

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.
Mechanist chapter 14 . 11/14/2009
Amazing, amazing violence, I loved it! That part about Edward and the Millennium soldier recognizing each took me two times reading this chaper to figure out who it was; I first thought it was someone from Edward's pre-vampire life.

Bloody amazing.
Haissan chapter 14 . 11/13/2009

I am glad to have read this, I could hear the music in the back ground it had nothing to do with your posted lyrics. it was classical and dramatic.
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