|Reviews for The Lord of the Ring|
| daughterofthering chapter 2 . 7/27/2012
i like this and I like the alien choice!
| Lord rage quit chapter 2 . 6/20/2012
Please make more of this
| albert12 chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
Intresting. Although I avoided Halo weapons in order to avoid the ' mary-sue who beats the tar out of everything'. Also, you might want to work on describing things- the longer you can make a story, the better. And remember, writing takes time. I spent two months writing the first chapter of "a shangheli in middle-earth".
Keep writing! I want to know what hapens next!
| ShiroMage chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
Looking well so far. We're instantly seeing some crossover as of LotR and Halo themes.
What I would like to see if how the Hobbits would react to such forign species XD
Keep it up up, but try to make the story line a little bit slower. (Though some people prefer the fast-reading, I prefer the slower stories, you get more involved in it.)
| Aero Tendo chapter 1 . 3/18/2009
It is a very promising start to a story and while I can not claim to know Halo very well (just getting started in playing the game myself) I think you could fix it up in a few places.
For starters, when using height you should use the (') instead of the (,) because otherwise it just looks wrong. Example: 5'11(right) 5,11(wrong).
Also it was "An Albatross" not "A Albatross", and I don't mean to nitpick that as such mistakes are super easy to make. (Done it myself as a matter of fact.)
If I might make one more suggestion, the use of bold and italics would make some of the important things stand out. For example you could have done the whole block starting from "While they are arguing, I shall tell you more about them." all the way up to the "A/N: Back to Lehr and Natalie" part so that way it seems easier to tell that it is meant to be separated from the rest of the story. Oh, and if you're going to do A/N: for the END of notes, then you might want to do them at the start so people will have an easier time understanding but if you do the italics part then it won't be as necessary.
The characters started out interesting and I could understand their personalities easily. They will be cool to watch them grow and how they react to the challenges that you will undoubtedly place before them. Plus the Halo technology versus LOTR magic should make for an interesting challenge I imagine.
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.
| Rose that Blooms in Secret chapter 1 . 3/14/2009
Now I haven't read the original story this is derived from, so I don't know what part of this is yours. Thus,I will review it as a whole.
Fist of all, it is my personal opinion that it was too soon after the end of Halo for any Elite to even consider the possiblity of adopting a human. Decades of animosity and war do not disappear in the blink of an eye. And what on earth is a child doing on an imperial space-craft? (I know she's 17, but unless she has a commision to be on the ship, she should not be there.)
If I were Aragorn, I would have shot first and then asked questions. She looks too much like an orc.
Your characters tend to jump into things without really thinking about it. Like: "oh I just crashed my ship and there is a traveling band of people convieniently nearby, so lets travel with them! No worries that they might just want to steal my technology, or kill me in some crazy religious ritual."
REAL PEOPLE WOULD THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS!
These characters just seem to "go with the flow" like everything is just fine and dandy. Not beleivable characters.
The final thing is the elite is too much like Darla and your other girl characters. She may be a different species, but you still have the whole attitude thing going on. Why don't you try a different approach, like a girl who's prone to shyness or someone who isn't very strong and might need some protection. A spunky girl is ok now and then, but it gets predictable and exhausting after a while. Elites have a lot of dignity and pride: work with that.
Please not Elite/Legolas. Trying to bridge that genetic gap will not work. Why not choose another character like...Gimli or Boromir or Aragorn. These guys are normally deglected in the romances, and it will give you new material to work with.
Sorry. Don't worry, you'll do better next chapter.