Reviews for The Day The Earth Stood Still
tinkerbell72 chapter 12 . 4/6/2009
Another great chapter. I only wish it didnt end. I enjoyed the soft or gentle tone of your words as you describe the "first encounter" as Bella and Edward make love. Not that we wouldn't enjoy a chapter when they are taken completely by passion and a desperate NEED for one another, but that you allowed the readers to experience the joy and heartfelt sincerity between the two. It wasn't just sex, it was much more. Good job and I look forward to reading more.
MsBliss chapter 12 . 4/6/2009
Great job! This is an awesome story and I am so glad to read it EPOV. I actually prefer your writing style to Mrs. Meyer's but please don't tell her that! I love how everyone actually has a sense of humor and the "love at first sight" it more believable then being a "singer". You are doing a fabulous job! I just stayed up until 1 am to read your story! Tomorrow is gonna be rough with the lack of sleep but my dreams tonight will be worth it! Thank you so much for sharing your gift!
OneNiteOnly chapter 12 . 4/5/2009
Past two chaps were REALLY hot! However the thing wit the menstruation was a little too gross for my liking
ImaLoserBaby44 chapter 12 . 4/5/2009
I love this story, update soon :-)

some ideas for next chapter:

Charlie walks in on Bella and Edward

Tanya and/or Jacob come into the picture

(just suggestions)
Kitschisme chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
I. LOVE. THIS. STORY.
Jill428972 chapter 12 . 4/5/2009
GREAT chapter can't wait for the next ones ... love them great work
Shalgalmx chapter 12 . 4/5/2009
This has been a really awesome story. Seriously I read it all in one sitting.

I can't wait for you to post the next chapter. I'd love to see more of Bella's interaction with the whole Cullens family.
ktlady84 chapter 12 . 4/5/2009
It was good! Haha. I really enjoyed it. I've never read story told from this kind of perspective before where Edward can read Bella's thoughts. The story is really enjoyable and really addicting. I can't wait to see her post-coital interaction with the family and I'm curious to see how Charlie takes to Bella's "mate". Can't wait for the next chapter!
jlyric chapter 12 . 4/5/2009
Not gonna lie...that was hot.

As for my feelings for the chapter, I'm feeling kinda mixed right now. I mean overall it was a great read, hands down. The writing was very sensual and fluid. However, at times I felt that Bella got a little too OC for me. Then again, it is a fanfic, so you have every right to make Bella however you want...

Other than that, I found the chapter as captivating as I hoped for. :D If you're stuck for ideas, maybs you could write about the meeting Carlisle and the awkwardness that could ensue about Bella's awkwardness in asking for b.c. pills. Or maybe write an interlude with Bella's thoughts on the whole situation. I realize that this story is suppose to be from Edward's Pnt of View, but we really haven't got a chance to hear Bella's side of things and it could make for a good read. Maybe have Mike invite her to the beach since the Cullens will be away for the weekend. It'd be a great way to introduce Jacob, and all the possibilities that could go with that.

So umm yeah, those are just a few of my suggestions/comments. Sorry that it turned into a mini-rant (promise it wasn't my intention) I just got a lil' side-tracked. I hope you can get past your writers block.

Cheers,

jlyric
Zalia chapter 12 . 4/4/2009
I love an Edward without a sexually repressed stick up his butt! Maybe he wasn't a complete hermit during the 60s. I vote Bella be changed when James drops by so she can rip him a new one with her newborn strength. And I look forward to Bella getting her period - what a conversation that will be!
gobsessedreader chapter 12 . 4/4/2009
I have to review the whole story and tell you I love the whole emphasis on the mate thing. It makes so much more sense than what happened in the books. It's exactly how you would think vampire behaviour would be. It was alluded to in the series but like many things, not fully fleshed out.

I did miss the whole teenage jealousy thing with other guys asking her out and fantasizing about her. And in this latest chapter, I understand why you've gotten tired of writing about sex. I loved the chapters, but wanted more story going on than just sex. That said, it was written really well for a first time especially, the why wasn't she in pain. Ha, not every virgin actually has a hymen that needs to be broken. Also loved the way they were having a conversation during. It's kindof what actually goes on anyway. Also loved the menses comment. A vampire would have absolutely no issues about taking care of business whilst menstruating.

The one thing I do have to critique is Bella needs to be more complex. He asks her to marry him and she just says sure, when she's known him for all of 3 days? Granted I didn't like her aversion to marriage in SM's version. It could be explained by the whole love at first sight, imprinting, mate thing (whatever you want to call it), but we're not getting that from Bella or what she thinks of all the suddenness of everything. All I get is that she's a one dimensional character along for the ride.
Misty Vaughn chapter 12 . 4/4/2009
that was hot! hell yeah!
revmoonie20 chapter 12 . 4/4/2009
HOT! and that's all i have to say.
MissRebecca912 chapter 12 . 4/4/2009
Another great chapter :)
JustJo94 chapter 11 . 4/4/2009
The sad reality of posting stuff like this is that the measurement of how good a story is, is based on the number of reviews.

It's unfortunate...but not necessarily accurate.

Your story should have over 500 reviews by this point, if not more...

It is very well written, and there is some similiarity to the original story line, which is harder to do when tweaking it a bit...trust me, I know.

So...consider this, my way of helping you, one review at a time.

JustJo94
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