Reviews for The Struggle of the Uzumaki Clan
Guest chapter 5 . 5/17/2015
This story is just so frigging wierd. 5 chapters and i still have no idea what the basic plot is...aside from uzumaki dont exist or do they? And what's with naruto trying his best to screw his cousin?
HyperA1985 chapter 4 . 4/28/2013
Are you going to make Naruto & Hinata fanfic story where Naruto leaves with Hinata to restart Hidden Eddie Village Uzushiogakure?
Guest chapter 5 . 9/18/2012
the bird thing was good
Guest chapter 4 . 9/18/2012
ok ch 4 and still reading its all good still
Guest chapter 26 . 7/4/2012
lol. i think the story is getting farther and farther from the actual plot.
Dante Nastaran chapter 19 . 6/22/2012
Another awesome chapter!

"Naruto and Gaara once reaching the area of the mountains descended not to be spot by scouts." should be,"...descended not to be spotted by scouts."

it is spelled: 'rogue' not 'rouge' & an 's' is added to make it plural.

"She was silent reaping a tear on the tent and escaping" should be, "...ripping a tear in the tent..."

"Several of the rouge left on search of her" should be 'rogues' or 'rogue shinobi' not 'rouge' & it should be " search of her"

"his dark tone made them all step back as dome of sand created around him" should be, " a dome of sand formed around him" or "as he created a dome of sand around him"

"Her clothing was reaped on several places" should be, "...was ripped in several places"

"She picked at the battle" should be, "she peaked at the battle."

"several enemies on that area" should be, "several enemies in that area"

"...could not be seen under the incredible mob of Suna shinobi at top of him" should be, "...on top of him"

"it is the strongest the one that survives and achieves" should be, "it is the strongest that survives and achieves"

"he could feel how close some of his bones had been to be broken" should be, "...had been to being broken" or "...had been to breaking"

"sent a kick to Sakura." should be, " Sakura"

"She pulled her self to stand before picking as many as five shinobi on her shoulders" should be, "she pulled herself up before picking up as many as 5 shinobi onto her shoulders". "as many as" is unnecessary but it is not wrong.

"but you know it won't matter at the end," should be, "...ind the end"

"about time your house reveled" should be, "...revealed itself"

"would you be interested on joining us" should be, "...interested in joining us"

"I want to take down of you as many of possible" should be, "...take down as many of you as possible"

"He wondered if Naruto could be as strong as they." should be, " them."

"They are something reckless, I bet," should be, " They are doing something reckless, I bet"

"they arrived to the back of the neck" should be, " the back of the neck"

"If it is Tsunade" should be, "if it isn't Tsunade"

"they are on your way" should be, "they are in your way"

"she said in a voice low enough for the slug to hear" should be, " a voice low enough for just the slug to hear"

"chalk board" this is supposed to be 1 word "chalkboard"

"I finally recognized why this boy looks so familiar" should be, "I finally realized why..."

"with a bullet of pressured air" should be, "...pressurized air"
Dante Nastaran chapter 18 . 6/22/2012
More greatness! _

Helpful Criticism:

"it has been sometime since you don't look for me, I hope these are good news". It should be, "it has been some time since you have looked for me, I hope its good news"

"she is a student from one of Jiraiya's old teammates"

it should be: "she is a student of one of Jiraiya's old teammates" or just "she is a student of Jiraiya's old teammate"

"Our Jinjuriky has found about his identity"

It should be: "our jinchuuriki has found out about his identity"

"He does not seem interested on letting his grandparents know"

it should be, "...interested in letting..."

Lee, could you please have a pace that we all can keep up to?" should be: "...keep up with?"

"Better ask, what's the big idea!" should be: "better to ask..."

"She had been prideful to admit it, but both were stronger than most Uzumaki." should be: "she had been too prideful to admit it..."
Dante Nastaran chapter 15 . 6/22/2012
Another incredible chapter. Can't wait to read the next.

Helpful Criticism:

Sasuke says, "we are having a mission in 2 days."

it should be we have a mission in 2 days.

Her name is: 'Temari' not 'Temary'

The word is: Jinchuuriki ('Jin' as in '人'(person), 'chuu' as in '中'(inside), 'ri' as in '利'(advantage; benefit; profit; interest), 'ki' as in '器'(device; instrument; vessel; container))

You use: "in the weekend" and "on a jinchuuriki"

it should be the opposite: "on the weekend" "in a Jinchuuriki"
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 42 . 12/31/2010
good story I enjoyed from the begining i am looking forward to reading the sequel... Good Job
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 41 . 12/31/2010
good chapter
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 40 . 12/31/2010
good chapter
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 39 . 12/31/2010
good chapter
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 38 . 12/31/2010
crazy chapter
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 37 . 12/31/2010
good chapter
Dark Devil2K7 chapter 36 . 12/31/2010
good chapter
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