|Reviews for The Legacy of the Bastion: Alliance in Jeopardy|
| pacificuser chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
Cool! Do you ever plan on finishing this great story? I hope that it is not dead.
| Watery-the-Strange chapter 1 . 6/2/2009
Hey, Kaqmere. Sup?
You did a good job explaining things in this chapter. I particularly liked the dialogue between Vince, Ron, and Al. Very realistic.
The only thing that got to me was that this chapter didn't reach out and grab my attention like it should. Maybe that's just a result of my short attention span, but meh. My advice is to keep the good dialogue but to try to flesh out the characters through action and more good dialogue. You did that here with Ron and Al. Try to make it more apparent in Vince and his other squadron members.
Not that Vince isn't likable. He has a nice tone when he reflects on things, but I just want to see him do something. Hold a gun in his hands maybe. I haven't read the other chapters yet, but I hope to see Vince getting to know the other members better by their reactions through combat. Maybe some of them will be spear carriers and die in the conflict, making the danger of the Shivans all the more real.
Damn. I just keep repeating myself over and over, don't I? I'll shut up now.
| groundcontroltomajortom chapter 1 . 3/18/2009
Nice, I think you've neatly summed up what's happening at this point in the war. The background on Shima was very interesting. I'm looking forward to these slightly questionable characters throwing themselves into the action.
Looking forward to Chapter 2.