|Reviews for Frozen Tundra|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
please continue writing on this. Its seriously killing me. you now have 2 OPEN endings in this saga, both of which bother the hell out of me. Its really good, so keep doing it. School is over, so you should have some free time this summer, so get something done! please?
| Pixo chapter 8 . 10/11/2010
Nice to see an update! And a good one at that. Who is this sinister sniper-chick? I sense danger afoot!
Also, you mention four rare super-heavy tanks ... personally, I don't think something is rare if there are FOUR of them.
| Pixo chapter 7 . 7/7/2010
I don't know why this story is so lacking in reviews. Well, I do, there isn't a great deal of reviewing going in general, but nevertheless, I will try to do my bit to change that.
This is a good story. Well written and well thought out. You know your two main characters inside and out and when you're written from their point of view, its excellent. However, the story itself is pretty slow, and some of the dialogue from the other characters seems a bit forced. Also, Hannah doesn't have a foil. Everyone seems to like her, which I find hard to believe. I think she could use an adversary, who could also provide some tense when they aren't in battle.
Moreover, I would suggest you combine your chapters onto thematic sections, ie Sec-1: her arrival and introduction to the 126th, Sec-2: them moving out and preping for combat, Sec-3: then the start of the battle, etc... It will reduce your number of overall chapters, but it will increase their length and make them stand out as individual stories in and of themselves.
I know this is a prequel to United Front (which, by the way, really, seriously, needs to be updated, soon-like!), and therefore mostly a chance for us to get to know the younger versions of Hannah and Andre. But don't forget, you're writing military science-fiction, you need to give us more military and more science-fiction.
| Lord Magos Jadinar chapter 6 . 3/21/2010
Wow its been a while since I've been on and I'm glad to be seeing this story again. Once again I have found another excellent example of character development a technique which many writers need to use more often. Though I will say the action is a bit slow, am waiting for teh battlez.
| Lord Magos Jadinar chapter 3 . 10/14/2009
Not bad, especially due to the fact your working on another story. Very cleanly written with no mistakes I can see but one thing I would like to present to you. Perhaps making the chapters a bit longer I think it could improve your story alot. You already write well but with some more detail I think this story could be quite impressive.
| Master Damon chapter 2 . 3/22/2009
Good overall my friend. No grammatical or spelling errors I could see, but I would probably use a thesaurus for some of those "killed"s in there. Otherwise though, good job! I really enjoyed it. :]