|Reviews for Riding The Rails|
| IcelandGirl812 chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
This was a great concept! I really loved it. And contrary to the way you describe your writing on your profile, your grammar isn't lacking, and your writing isn't so bad it's in the negative numbers or anything compared to other authors on here. You should give yourself some more credit! :)
Excepting a few, small and easily overlooked comma mistakes, your writing is good! It flows well and has a good descriptiveness that paints a picture without difficulty. I would recommend though if you write more, that you add more paragraph breaks. I understand that you write for fun, in all honesty I think writing SHOULD be fun. I don't, however, think adding paragraph breaks would take away from the fun of it or anything. The only reason I mention it at all is because it's very easy to lose the line you were reading when there's a large section of unbroken writing.
I'm going to risk sounding demanding, pushy and annoying here by asking if you're going to continue this? I think there's definite potential and fun to be had with it. Hehe. But if not, thanks for this all the same! :D
| ericastwilight chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
I really like this. For your first fan fiction I am happy to say that was well done. Your descriptions are really well done. I enjoyed it. Adding to favorite author hope to see some more work from you.
| sunfire04 chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
That was a great story.
| latuacantante4him chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
And the subway system has such a bad reputation. I'd ride it every day to experience something like this. Enjoyed it.
| NanMcCullen chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
Wow. I bet he could make me come without touching me too. Are you gonna extend this or are you gonna leave it as a one shot?
| ScarletVampy chapter 1 . 4/1/2009
I really liked this story :) Not just for the Sexuality, but for the connection that they made right away. Not everyone has that in their stories and it is what I like most about the couple. I really think it should be a full story instead of just one page :) I am adding it and you to my favourites and can't wait to read more.
| lulabelljane chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
Hot damn! This was insanely hot! WIth Edward, you think of Rob...and with Rob...well, let's just say he could get that reaction just by looking at ladies...lol!
I totally think you should explore the world of this Bella and Edward a little more...I can see so much! Great job!
| Summer Leah chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
Wow! This is EXTREMELY sexy and I beg you to continue it!
| msewgiamn372 chapter 1 . 3/26/2009
this story is def. one of the best i've read on this site. it was amazing... i sent it to a couple of my friends. I just loved the whole idea / framework . i'm at a loss of words, but this was just great!
| Re Lane Cullen chapter 1 . 3/25/2009
I loved it!
| TheIrishClvr chapter 1 . 3/25/2009
That was amazing!
| Nicholh2008 chapter 1 . 3/24/2009
OH! PLEASE CONTINUE THIS!
| Vampyre chapter 1 . 3/24/2009
Mesmerising. Very erotic.
| missspetrova chapter 1 . 3/23/2009
omg that was hot!
you should so continue!
| MurderedLove chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
i loved it! majorly! it would make a great full-time story! -nudge, nudge, hint hint-