|Reviews for Digimon: The Frontier Adventure 01|
| LanternLover23 chapter 4 . 3/14/2015
I've changed my password, so it doesn't matter if I tell you. You're Momentai13, my password used to be that
Not anymore so it doesnt matter
| Terriermon3908 chapter 1 . 10/6/2014
I really like it, but you got pretty lazy with the details. I mean, they acted so NATURAL about there being digimon with them, it was like Takuya already knew Gato mon was there. Although it was clever for Takuya's dog to turn out to be a digimon. Although I prefer Aguni mon.
Pen name: Terriermon3908
Digi destined pen name: Akiyo "Ki" Hashimoto
Digimon partner: Laurel mon Attack: Golden Laurel, Spiked Tail .Family: Virus Buster.
Laurel mon digivolve to- Shamrock mon. Attack: Clover Blitz.
Shamrock mon digivolve to- Vine mon, Attack: Vine mon song
KI: Tall, thin, with two long rainbow dyed pigtails that literally permanently windswept looking. Wears a green tee shirt with a picture of a rainbow and pot 'o' gold on it, black fingerless gloves, and long greenish blue pants. Dark blue eyes. Fair skinned. Wears a crystal watch and has a major crush on Kouichi. Koji likes her, but she has a crush on Kouchi instead, but Koji doesn't really mind.
Loves cupcakes and is very, very, fast, like she runs ahead of everyone all the time, but she never looks where she's looking and always runs into lampposts and her trademark saying for that is, "Who put that lamppost there?", or "What a dumb place to put a lamppost!" like how Davis always gets T.K's name wrong or how Ken is always apologizing for being the digimon emperor.
Hope you liked my OC. I'd love it if you'd include her in one of your stories, until next time on OC IDEAS, where I'll have some ideas for tamers and a legendary warrior.
| Ultimateblack chapter 14 . 4/27/2014
Hey there I'm at chapter 14. I don't get something you said about the crushes. So far I've seen nothing much about them save d moment Koji felt jealous and TK feeling uneasy at Kari being concerned for Davis. As far as I've read I don't think Davis has ever expressed any feelings towards Kari. Care to enlighten me about your romance points?
| Guest chapter 39 . 3/6/2014
Very good story I wish u added more takumi anyway its awesome
| DEADPOOL RULES66 chapter 13 . 8/21/2013
if i could own something like digimon i would prefer to own EVERY THING DISNEY EVER HAD ON THIER CHANLES OR SPONSERED! so i could bring back digimon, AND give spectrobes the TV show and movie it so ritefuly deserves! ( mind exploded ) well keep up the good work and eat CHIMMY CHUNGAS!
| Soul of Innocence - Aamuet chapter 7 . 8/19/2013
...Oops...I guess it isn't Myotismon...Heh, Heh...Sorry!
| Soul of Innocence - Aamuet chapter 6 . 8/19/2013
...Myotismon...WHY IS IT ALWAYS MYOTIS-FUCKING-MON!
| Soul of Innocence - Aamuet chapter 5 . 8/19/2013
What about the Beast Spirits?
| Commandement de Deuxime chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
This feels rather rushed but other wise seems ok
| GirlAnimePrincess chapter 6 . 8/23/2012
okay so what Im going to try is review every chapter as I read it, and give you my thoughts.
I know you wrote this a few years ago, But hey, its still advice and it might help you in other things. If you already know anything i tell you, feel free to disregard it, ok?
Chapter 1: Its nice that you put your dog in, but I was immediately confused. You didnt explain anything about her other then shes your dog as a digimon, Leaving the reader to try to figure out what changed. If that reader hasnt read any of your storys(you might have another story about that, sorry, I havent checked) then like me they are going to be at least a little confused. I am not saying you should load your readers with backstory, but a little bit so they at least know whats different is good. Next up, you went too fast. Never just Explain what happened, which is what you did when they went to the digital world. You are trying to get the reader into the story, getting them to care about the characters. Of course, with fan fiction, that might have already been done by the original stuff. "At Gennai's house, they all sat and listened to his story. He explained that evil has risen and it's bigger and badder than anything that they've faced before. He plans to destroy the Human world and he has an army of Digimon that he controls. It seems that they are being controlled and they don't have their own will power to stop him. So that's where the digidestined and the Legendary Warriors come in. He also explained to the Warriors that their Spirits are scatter once again and that their quest is to protect both worlds." This is not a good idea, How do the legendary warroirs know they can trust these guys? all they know is that these guys is that they have digimon partners. How do they trust gennai, whom they've never heard of? Also, people hate it when they get to the awesome level then something new comes along (like a sequel)and they have to start over. The frontier gang would be upset, but you didnt show us that. You simply skipped over everything else besides a broad overveiw of gennai's speech. Then you abruptly went back "Can Only See" to "Actually Being There" with T.K. saying to meet up.
Chapter 2: You put in that the D-tectors came back in an authors note? why not have the frontier gang suprised and happy, yolei going on and on about how cool they look, Cody, Kari, and T.K. interested in whats different from their D3's, and Davis getting into an argument with Takuya about which one is cooler? that would be more interesting and would make the reader feel like they are there instead of going "When did they change? oh I see. Whatever".
How did they realize they were being watched? did they notice one of the Keramon and then yelled something out? what happened?
Why is Ken the only one who had an idea? for that matter, why are they clueless? I think shocked or suprised might have been a better choice, perhaps davis or yolei yelling "Did you just turn into a Digimon?!" and then ken saying his line there.
you turned omniescent for sec there. "They hit Chirinmon right to the wall and he was getting irritable.". Why not say "They hit Chirinmon, throwing him back into a wall. When he got up, He looked angrier then ever before." That sort of writing builds tension in an "Oh no, what are they going to do next?!" kind of way. That is a really good thing.
"He's just amazing!" Kari and Gatomon admired the Warrior. Koji looked at Kari and felt a bit jealous of Takuya.
When did kari start liking Kari? How did I(the reader) not know this?! You never placed any hints before hand so it comes completely out of nowhere. In addition, you seem to be omniescent again. It keeps popping up so that might be on purpose, but it has a tendency of the reader "Watching" instead of feeling like they are there. The KojixKari is perfectly fine, but you dont have any reason for it yet, and they really just met yesterday. Why would he be feeling jealous over a girl he litterally just met?
Then the kids noticed that there was a tv right there.
. . . Really? They really JUST noticed a tv? if there was a tv there then why didnt they enter through it? why didnt it get destroyed in the fight? why didnt someone/anyone notice a random tv in the middle of where they were? And when did Davis get a D-tecter? arent the 02 digivices called D3's?
Chapter 3: This one was fine, just a tad fast.
Chapter 4: this one was also a little fast, with quite a bit of the "Camera" hopping around.
Why would tommy be so excited he accidentily jumps off a cliff? Only neemon would be that stupid. And when hes gets back up they dont bother asking if hes okay at all, they just say "Smart thinking!" and go off to find koichis spirit? even someone who slightly dislikes you would still ask if you were ok after jumoing off a cliff and possibly DIEING.
Chapter 5: this one was okay, but it also was fast. You seem to have a problem with that . . .
Chapter 6: -.-" 18 floors, atleast? really? thats like small skyscraper high! or at least big city office building. And no impmon action?!(this one is just a personal thing, If I had a digimon, I would have an impmon. He's cool XD) After that you just go a little fast again.
okay I am going to stop here because this is getting really long and there are over thirty more chapters. I hope you at least think about what i did say though. I am not trying to be mean, condescending, snobbish, Holier-then-thou, or any other things like that. I am really trying to help you grow as a writer. Like I said at the beginning, you have total permission to completely disregard any advice I give, because i am inexpeirianced as well, and almost everything I told you, you can find in "How to write fiction for dummies", because thats where I learned it. So, This ends my hopefully helpful message. Good luck writing.
| thesame12 chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
how bout a crossover of all 6 seasons and the 3rd arc of season 6?
| Skyeisn'tmine chapter 22 . 5/7/2011
Please make a part two!
| Sightbent chapter 39 . 1/6/2010
It took me awhile to get around to it, but I finally got around to reviewing the final chapter of your story.
So congratulations are in order. Good job with the story and reaching the end (Way to many stories never get an end).
Good luck with your future writings. I can't wait to read your next story.
| Sightbent chapter 37 . 11/5/2009
| Sightbent chapter 36 . 10/18/2009