|Reviews for Nur|
| GraceQute chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
cool story Fiz ! :D
| 4568365365 chapter 9 . 5/24/2009
cool! never knew dat a non muslims would want 2 join 'ugama' class. I m livin in Brunei Darussalm an Islamic country though I m not a muslim. but i understand what u r writing so far bout islams. we also learn some islam words and MIB 2. but keep up the good work.
| Cezille07 chapter 7 . 5/15/2009
There were a few scenes I thought were unnecessary, the story would have done fine without them: The going home from school in chapter 2, for example, and meeting Qit.
By chapter 3, things started getting interesting. It just puzzled me for a moment why someone as young as Halim, a 14 year old boy, would be an agent taking orders from a mysterious caller. However, here we got some properly-timed explanations, in my opinion. Nur, what an interesting character. He got me wondering whether or not Halim is a Tamer after all. On the other hand, he made Zick and Elena seem inferior in the sewer scene: the description was "Nur then approached the kids". The term 'kids'. He's a what, an agent with cool gadgets? And Zick's powers don't do anything to the Glorg? So it's not a monster. What is it? What does Halim have that Zick and the other Tamers don't?
On the fourth chapter, I liked the way the fight scene was described. Still, using a lightsaber and random things with the morpher was kind of weird, for a Monster Allergy story. Tamers depend on their powers, but as I said they seem to have a small role compared to Halim's. The fifth chapter didn't have much content, but the scene between Lay and Halim was sweet. We see he's also human somehow, susceptible to human ills such as a cold, and human weaknesses like love. For the sixth chapter, I didn't understand what the scene with the test results or the meeting with Rushdi did for the plot. How it led to that, why it was important, wasn't really explained.
Overall, there's some confusion between singular and plural, and past and present tense every now and then. Narration is moderately-paced but okay enough, and describes what happens in near-enough to full detail. The murder scenes showed the story kept going on, evil was at hand. What annoyed me was that while this was a Monster Allergy story, you showed that the Tamers were inferior to Nur, that their powers didn't work against the monsters that attacked Old Mill.
It's still not done? We'll see just how this goes.
| anonymous chapter 5 . 4/27/2009
I think this chapter is rather interesting than the previous ones.
Well are a great author.
| shikyoseinen chapter 5 . 4/10/2009
The beginning of the chapter lacks daologue
I want to read their screams they were...you know
The action scene seems ok
To behonest the chapter lacks dialogue.
Don't give up!
Teruskan Usaha Kamu!/Continue your efforts to make this story good!
| shikyoseinen chapter 4 . 4/5/2009
Not bad chapter
Wish the Battle could be a little longer though.
Anyway, congrats on completing chapter 4!
| 6758579794 chapter 4 . 4/5/2009
well u didn't. anyway gud story. i hope u can continue writin thiz story. keep up the gud work
| 463464636435 chapter 3 . 4/1/2009
oh yeah correction. dat thin bout Paul n Baul? well it is Raul not Baul. pls correct the name when the next time u write the twins' names. sorry i busybody. n e way word of encouragment (i hope i spell it correctly), good story!
| 47797392746 chapter 2 . 3/31/2009
2 ans ur question, not much. the oni thin i noe bout lay is dat she is beautiful 2 all boy Tamers, especially Zick n Teddy. if u had seen the MA season 2, then u know dat a new Tamer call Bobby Clash may have a crush on her.
| 64836 chapter 3 . 3/28/2009
Yo! R U A MUSLIM? sorrie i hit the capslock
| anonymous chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
That was a great story.
I enjoyed reading the whole thing.
It was really enjoyable.
Thanks for writing this fanfic.
| LM Simpson chapter 2 . 3/22/2009
Interesting start; not too bad. Nice cliffhanger at the end, as well.
Ice already cited the grammar problems and spelling errors, so I'll take note of the inconsistent tenses. Shifting between present, past, and/or future tense in prose can make it difficult to read and can be just as damaging as grammar and spelling. You might want to check that out.
Aside from that, good luck on future chapters!
Kady the Red Panda
| Tsuza chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
Hey there! Zel here. D
E. Harry Potter reference for the title! xDD *Is a dork*
Anyway, about the fanfic.
I like the idea that you started with the "current" situation; setting in mind the "dark" atmosphere, and then having a flashback.
Sort of introducing the OC in the Prologue, yes? 3
Just watch out for grammar or spelling errors.
.Keep on Writing.
| 5544555555 chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
r u a malay