|Reviews for Emeralds & Lavender eyes|
| Guest chapter 18 . 2/21
holy crap... that was AMAZING HOLY COW THIS WAS A GREAT STORY i just stumbled upon this story not even looking for this kind of story and bam i getvthis jewel in the mud man you could be an athuor and i would think you professional man i just can't get over how well you handle writing it is just purely beyond me i mean i wish Senda had a bit more backstory but that is the only thing i want i can die happy knowing that i was able to experience this masterpiece ok well that is my praising done if you don't think it sincere then go and think why did this guest write six fucking lines of this praising (i prefer con graduating but meh wanted you to feel proud :/ ?) but anyhow ignore that babbling i don't know whats gotten into me i mean i just typed what 8 lines now oh shit well nice job :)
| Tamuril2 chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
I will try and read more of this on Thursday. I t was good, but, to be honest, it didn't quite pull on my heartstrings as much as I wanted it to (maybe it's just me). I felt as if it was lacking something, not quite sure what. Don't get me wrong it was good, just lacked something to give that extra "umph". I'm sorry if I come across as snobby or blunt, I don't mean to, I jsut wanted to be completely honest with you on this.
Despite that, I will, as I said before, come back to read more. Do keep on writing.
| littleblueshadow chapter 17 . 2/24/2012
Yet again another amazing chapter. I really liked that you used "let your heart decide" by celine dion it is one of my favourites XD I really liked the dialogue in this chapter. Keep up the good work XD.
| littleblueshadow chapter 16 . 2/9/2012
I really enjoyed reading your story so far. And I love Sedna's and Drizzt's relationship it is a very siblin like, oh and I like guen too XD
| Reinamarie Seregon chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
Silverwolf- i got a shock that she fell into Faerun. it makes a good read
| thingsthatwanderaway chapter 11 . 1/10/2011
PEACEFULLY CRAZY LIKES THIS CHAPTER
| Huntress Dream chapter 10 . 9/26/2010
a very interesting story i'm curious what you have in mind for them. update when you can.
| muyany chapter 3 . 8/25/2010
look, two chapters in one day!
Drizzt demeanor seems to have changed since chapter two, which is not bad considering it puts things back to a more or less normal behaviour. This shows nicely that they are still strangers to eachother despite their seemingly easy converstion. Sedna is keeping secrets, which is normal considering everything, but not a wise choice since it is about the emerald to which she also is new. Nice 'argument' comming up if she continues this.
Sedna doesn't aswer when Drizzt asks her whether she used the emerald on him and the dwarves don't aswer e question at one point either, strange. you say underground dwarves, so I guess you mean gnomes as duergar would be a bit strange.
I bet you could come up with a better name than Spirit, most of Salvatore's names are long and too hard to pronounce. Then again, Drizzt's sword is called Twinkle.
I believe that by this point our favourite dark elf should be susicious of the jewel as it seems to have a mind of it's own he should have been able to compare it with crishinibon (never mind the spelling) teh fact that she comunicates with a precious stone on the same level as Drizzt with Guen seems strange as I can't really imagine someone bonding with a stone, even a magical one.
there are a lot of questions now and you only add more and aswer almost none. Which is, I think, the main frustration of most of your readers, a goal has yet to be set.
A lot happens in this chapter and it's difficult keeping track of everything.
Me. don't get discouraged by my comments, please. :D
| muyany chapter 2 . 8/25/2010
ok, basically I can say the same about this chapter as I did about the previous chapter, mainly about the pace you're setting.
I noticed the cheetah... :D
they have showers there? weird
since we discussed whether elves are noble or no, and we decided Drizzt didn't score bad at all, I think it somewhat strange that he would accept all the favours the villagers give, certainly because they give him all these things out of fear.
You seem to be contradicting yourself. you mentioned she had seen illustrations of him and mmade it clear she knew of him before she came to Toril and yet she asks why the villages fear him.
Drizzt is confused when she mentions cities and stores but not when she says maffia.
I know it's not a romance, but her descriptions of Drizzt seem to give the impression that it will be anyway.
Her pattern of speech is still modern, which is good as it shows that she is not entirely familiar with the world she now walks. The question whether she pronounced his name right basically illustrated that she is indeed not that familiar with everything, it's a pity most of their rushed actions seems ti contradict this. (well that was the first thing I said, no?)
I think that's about it, I'll read on and see where it brings me.
You Know Who
| muyany chapter 1 . 8/13/2010
First, I'm curious to what's going to happen next, which is always good isn't it. At the moment I'm kind of confused since our information of Sedna is limited, but that's fine.
but it's kind of confusing to read without a line/bar to separate the changes of POV or location.
Next, the descriptions you give are very rushed, this is no problem at all in the fighting scenes or when Sedna is running since it matches the mood of the scene, however I have some problems with the cave-scene:
Instead of simply stating they are now in a cave and there is a fire burning, you could say something like ‘Drizzt had led her to a nearby cave, though far enough to avoid contact with more orcs any time soon, and had then proceeded to get a fire started the way Sedna had always imagined caveman would.’
Also I think it is strange Drizzt would make stew and roast a rabbit at the same time, it seems unnecessary and to me it seems more likely he’d pack the extra meat in case they encounter trouble in the coming days.
I think it strange Drizzt brings up being an orphan, he might have brought up Zak, though without being specific as I (probably Drizzt too) would trust someone that fast.(then again Guenhwyvar trusts her and that might be enough for him)
Last of the cave scene, isn’t it strange Sedna cries on his shoulder like that and that Drizzt sleeps too while there are orcs still nearby? I think it’s another strange sign of trust neither is ready for at that time(or I’m simply that paranoid, could be) some more conversation is in order I think. And it’s not clear whether the panther is still there.
Almost done, sorry I’m bothering you with that many details, but I think it would help the readers if you mentioned some basic things about the landscape.
And there is no mention of a forest at all(well I’ve checked and there are trees at the bottom of the cliff, which causes everything else to make a lot more sense, but some stress on the surroundings and ‘forest’ or ‘wood’ in stead of ‘trees’ would have made everything much more clearer). And later when Drizzt appears you say he went to the forest while the reader didn’t know there was a forest(or the cliff) and might have imagined, as I did, he was standing at the rocky foot of a mountain and a grassy plane stretching out behind him.
Your short and powerful descriptions are great, just be careful about what I mentioned above. I really liked Drizzt introduction to the story, that was very well written. The sentences where longer too and the peaceful scene was a nice contrast to the previous hectic one(this is what you should have done when Sedna first ended up in Faerun, then switching back to short when the orcs came. I loved it when you mentioned there was only one spoon, that’s a little detail most people would forget about! The ending was perhaps a bit typical, I doubt I’d feel that confident after everything that had happened(dead father, mafia, transportation to a fantasy world, orc-attack and spectacular rescue), but then again I’m not Sedna, so it doesn’t really matter. Oh, and their meeting was strangely accidental, but it’s not entirely impossible and I would most likely have done the same as it would have been way to much trouble to have her end up elsewhere and have her look for Drizzt and such. Accidents are allowed to happen in fantasy once in a while.
| muyany chapter 1 . 8/12/2010
I finally made it here! Now I'm curious about what's going to happen, so I'll read on quickly.
I'll send you a mail containing a looooong review. Don't worry, it's nothing bad at all. And I could post it here but it's a bit long. This isn't bad at all.
| panther moon chapter 5 . 4/6/2010
... although some more history of Sedna's past would be nice and some more descriptions. The critique I have is that until you said that Sedna was 19 years old, I had been under the impression that she was 10 or, at the most, 12.
| Panther moon chapter 5 . 4/5/2010
I love how it deals with the feeling of finding who you are although the world may be against you. ] like the story plot
| Baran3 chapter 9 . 7/25/2009
i found your style a little confusing
there is no clear goal here
what is the shard
what do they mean by witches with silver eyes
everything is little confusing
one point drizzt has a too cheerful approach in here
the noble drow ranger is a grim and serious personality, even with cattie-brie and wulfgar
Only bruenor and battle bring out his dark humor
i have no doubt you read the novel series, but using the RPG as a sounding board is a good way to stay on the road
determine why sedna is here and stick to it
| child-of-paradox-and-chaos chapter 7 . 5/18/2009
Oh man! Drizzt is so cute! I wanna cuddle him!
You have good style and interesing plot :) Will you incorporate more elves in the story? Surface ones? I'd like to see Sedna ripping into them for their prejudice against Drizzt.