Reviews for Silver Shell
Claire Bloom chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
WOW! I'm so emotional now! It was heart breaking, her despair and sullen acceptance whilst grieving in so much pain...I like the use of the word "Proper" throughout this, its how Esme was always told to behave with regards to her husband, why she didn't leave, always being proper.

Brilliant!

Cx
kimberlycullen10 chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
tragically beautiful.

those are the two words i feel fit this story best, because wow, jen, that was seriously amazing. you are so descriptive and leave absolutely no detail behind. every single thing you described flawlessly formed itself in my head as i read it. this was, no doubt, the most powerful one-shot ive ever read. my heart literally broke for her as i "watched" everything play out.

thoughts such as "Such a waste? My heart. My life. A waste?" and "Not for me. Never for me." seriously just killed me. i wanted to quote all the places that i felt just GOT to me and then i realized i was essentially highlighting the entire thing. but this, i can tell you, was very meaningful and descriptive and simply heartbreaking to me - "Striking beauty the moon must see, and sorrow. Will the moon cry out to stop me? Or will she watch impassively, observing the heartbreaking splendor of a mother no more?" just... wow. empty shell indeed.

what a wonderful story. im so glad you wrote this! and thanks for the quote at the end; it made the story even more meaningful to me afterwards - which is saying a lot, trust me. :) absolutely beautiful job, jen.
dmnsqrl chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
The image of her body weeping 'tears' when she feels she cannot cry is very moving.

"Unfeeling husband" that's not a reference to Charles, is it? I thought she had left him during her pregnancy because she didn't want to bring her child into his power?

I also really liked the image of Esme seeing the moon as a mother who would understand what Esme was about to do.
dreaming in black and white chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
This is so beautiful, and so sad. Heartbreakingly written- the repetition of the word 'proper' just adds so much to it...and the moon as a mother? Wow. Well done, and good luck with the contest - thank you for writing this x :)
pullofthemoon chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
Sadly beautiful...it really brings up so many feelings. Of a friend who has lost a baby and all of the emotions she has gone through, feeling as if everyone has moved on without her. "The mourners returning to their lives, their homes, their families." It also brings up memories of a friend we lost...makes me wonder again what she was feeling. It's amazing how much heartache and sorrow you can capture in such a short time. Esme was done. It was over. So sad, but yes, I do like it. How heartbroken she must have felt to have the desire, the need, to be "away from the husband who could never be enough." I agree with the other review...I can only imagine Carlisle's thoughts and emotions when he found her. Very well done!
hammondgirl chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
Jen that was really beautiful. The parts that struck me the most were these:

"Their respects.

What an odd word for such a time."

I've always thought the same about this. I mean, what respect can be paid at such a time - especially with the loss of a child?

"The mourners returning to their lives, their homes, their families. Hugging their precious little ones tight, kissing foreheads, wiping sticky mouths."

I think mourners can't help but to do this - to be with the ones they love & hug them to their bodies. But I've never looked at it from this perspective, and hopefully I won't have to for a long, long time.

The last thing that got me was "milky tears." I nursed Delaney for six and a half months and loved every minute of it. Losing a child would be indescribably difficult in it of itself, but I can't imagine having your body react in such a way - when it doesn't know any better. Just awful. But a beautiful story. Well done, my friend - but yes, it was hella depressing! ;)
ahizelm chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
*cries*

If I may quote:

"Feet bare and dusty, torn and bleeding from the sneaking midnight trip to the precipice away from the husband who could never be enough."

My heart was slowly breaking and then I read that line and the crevice was finalized.

Amazing work, love. MoW, even in its sadness.
Famingo chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
Very nice picture of Esme's pain on the day of her son's funeral. Almost makes me want to see Carlisle's immediate thoughts when he sees her broken body afterward.
enterprisealien chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
This was really good. I think you did a good job capturing her emotions.
Legna989 chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
Pretty powerful for a scant 600 words.

It isn't easy to get a complete picture into so few words. Even setting aside what I already know about Esme's story, I can see that you've got all the elements in here. I think it was wise to narrow the focus to the funeral and its immediate aftermath; it provides a clear picture of her grief and loss and despair even without the inclusion of every single detail of why she feels that way.

So few people write with Esme as the focus. I'm glad you did.

Thank you for writing.
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