|Reviews for sanctuary|
| invisible-gurl chapter 34 . 10/24/2011
oh flipping hell... o.O edward's remembering! yay! but crap... voldy's found out about them and wants them... dammit alex! get a vision or something with that mind link... edward totally needs you right now! T_T great job and plz update soon
| Curufin's Smile chapter 2 . 10/21/2011
I can't reply to your PM until tomorrow because I just joined FFnet, but thank you for being so rational about it. I'm trying to be less harsh with my reviews: I criticize myself very harshly and I am also a firm believer that honesty is the best policy, so I hope you don't take what I have to say personally.
This chapter, whilst it does contain canon characters, was a little overdone as a death scene. I did like the plot twist that Bella died from Renesmee - that surprised me.
Grammar and spelling is okay; ellipses (...) only have three full stops; and the reason why the death scene seemed so overdone was due to the stammering. Also, you really didn't need to state the obvious about her being in pain: show your readers, don't tell them. Stories read better that way.
I hope you continue to improve. :)
| Curufin's Smile chapter 1 . 10/21/2011
This is bad. Your OC is a Mary Sue. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but no one wants to read your Self-Insert fantasy. Aside from this, your grammar is bad. It is inconsistent all the way through, with you missing capitalisations in almost every paragraph. That is the only major reoccuring fault that I can find. Your spelling is okay, however. The plot and the OC are the main problems here.
| Arashi - IV of VI chapter 33 . 10/17/2011
Oooohh! I need to read the next chapter! Please finish it!
| anani chapter 33 . 9/19/2011
Please write kore! :)
| invisible-gurl chapter 33 . 9/16/2011
poor edward... well i guess she can erase his memories but she definitely can't erase the feelings in his heart P great job and plz update soon i almost feel sorry for bella . lol
| Mouth chapter 33 . 7/27/2011
oh i feel soooo sorry for edward
| Aero 3 chapter 33 . 7/27/2011
I, too, cried when I watched the movie and my friends laughed at me lol
Im glad that you update this.. trust me when I say I miss your story alooot
| Guest chapter 32 . 4/1/2011
I miss your story :D thanks for updating
| frickandfrack09 chapter 32 . 4/1/2011
I don't even know what to say. I'm just am so heartbroken. I know what happens in the end of the "normal" series, but this is not "normal" and I am sort of freaking out. And since I am freaking out I cannot go this long without an update, so I'm going to need you to update real quick. I cannot believe that she took his memories. Talk about "It will be as if I never existed"! I really didn't want that to happen, if Edward wasn't so damn selfish he would've willingly let her go knowing it was the right thing to do, and maybe, JUST MAYBE none of this would have never happened. I am so distraught. I cannot wait until the next update, I'm talking pins and needles here.
| Guest chapter 32 . 2/1/2011
Take your time, hun
| hpfanatic chapter 31 . 1/29/2011
omg its awsome i love it really!
please write more
| Kyunika chapter 31 . 11/29/2010
so suspenseful! please update soon or i think i might die in suspense! Ja Ne!
| sammiegirl chapter 31 . 11/29/2010
I can't wait for the next chapter! I love your writing and I can't wait to read more! Please update soon :)
| Guest chapter 31 . 11/27/2010
Lol. Is the red haired is Ron? xD