|Reviews for Poor Eloin|
| Ari The Fox chapter 1 . 11/3/2012
awe Dx i feel so sorry for poor Eloin... was there ever a sequal to0 FireBringer?
| Gasping For Breath chapter 1 . 9/5/2011
i like tis. make one of rannoch and willow then pm me when you do!
| love4wolves chapter 1 . 7/27/2011
Hey. That was really good. I really love the Fire Bringer novel. Keep writing, you're really good. Write on!
| RamenMasterTogi chapter 1 . 3/12/2010
Good, very good! There weren't too many errors with spelling except for maybe that "minuet", but that's acceptable. Just remember that when there's dialogue you need to keep it all one sentence. For example, you wrote:
"We shall see." The Lord of the Herd said as he nuzzled Eloin's greying muzzle.
It should be:
"We shall see," the Lord of the Herd said as he nuzzled Eloin's greying muzzle.
Sorry, that kind of thing just bugs me. But I do like the conflict between the two deer, and you can't help but feel sorry for Eloin. But I was surprised that Sgorr even kept to his word and let old Blindweed live, except for maybe he needed him to explain the Prophecy or whatever. Anyways, it was nice to read; I enjoyed it! :D
| TheModernChromatic chapter 1 . 2/7/2010
Alrighty, hon. In one part, you spelled minute "minuet" which is a lovely little song, not a measurement of time. Secondly, Are we even thinking of the same book here? This put me to sleep. Thanks for the nap though.
With love, iNkYlove.
| hope and fate chapter 1 . 10/8/2009
I like it. I didn't realise that Fire Bringer was on this site. hope&fate xx
| TorBrandil chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
Idea: Good, there aren't ANY Firebringer fanfics that deal with the Sgorr/Eloin conflict.
Constructive Criticism: Drail had Blindweed killed near the beginning of the novel. There's no way he could be alive by the time Eloin is old and grey. And I'm pretty sure Eloin would've made good on her promise to poison Sgorr if he ever tried something like that...
| That Patriotic Chick chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
Great job! I can't stand Sgorr and I fell sorry for Eloin.
| Marshies chapter 1 . 4/2/2009
Please please wirte more. I love ur story!
| Tassel630 chapter 1 . 3/23/2009
I congratulate you on writing the only Fire Bringer story on the entire site! Which is really a shame, as it's one of my favorite books. Anyway, I think overall it's pretty good.
My big complaint was that the end was comical, and I'm thinking Eloin would be more yes-I-got-my-revenge satisfied, and still angry, not really amused. It ruined the angst mood, you know? The other thing, I really think this only ranks as a T rating, because it skims over the mating.
I'm very glad you wrote this; I really need to reread Fire Bringer, and I've actually wondered if this particular scene would ever occur. Well, not the beehive part, but besides that. I really liked it, especially the dream part, and I'll be sure to read if you write another FB story. Keep at it!