|Reviews for The Fallout|
| Christina chapter 39 . 7/27
I spend the last two days reading this story and I liked it very much although I usually prefer the AH stories. Je unpredictable parts and the variation to the original were very entertaining. But I didn't like your Bella, which confused me a lot. She seemes selfish, childish and unreasonable to the point of cruelty towards her family and friends. But thats part of the reason I'll be thinking about the fallout for a while and that doesn't happen very often. Thanks for sharing!
| Kriscmill chapter 35 . 6/30
Hi, I just wanted to stop by and say I think this story has some great components. The storyline is strong and original. You've made a space for all the relevant characters and made some very cool decisions with how to use clearly have an awesome imagination, and I bet you could write some really great original work too!
Of course my biggest problem - as always tends to be the case with Twilight fan fiction, and even the original Twilight series itself - is with Bella. She's a terrible character, incredibly immature and rash. I felt like you really tried to make all the characters cannon, except for Bella. I think we all enjoy a Bella with a little more bite, but this version of Bella is missing all her core qualities - maturity, compassion, selfless love. Instead she reminds me of a petulant child who lashes out and stamps her feet when she doesn't get her way. I wonder why you chose to make her so different? It kinda killed the romance for me. Sure, you can tell the readers that Bella and Edward have a bond that is the stuff of legends, but I didn't believe it. If anything, I like Tanya more in this story than Bella, and that's really saying something.
If you want to make your character's flawed that's fine. If you want them to be unlikeable, that's also fine. Bella is certainly both. The problem is, I don't think that's what you were going for. I think you were trying to make Bella a deeply sympathetic characters that the readers will rally around. I'm assuming that's what you were going for, anyways, because of how you have all of the other characters interact with her. Carlisle describes her as a "queen" that any member of the family would sacrifice their life for. You always use the words "awe" or "admiration" to describe how the other Cullens view her. Tanya tells Edward "she's wonderful", for seemingly no reason. She's hostile and angry half the time. She jeopardizes the entire family when she threatens the Volturi. She continually tries to run away when she doesn't get her way, and has to be talked down off a ledge. She speaks out in anger and says hurtful things. She's legit terrible. And I get it, she was tortured for ten years, she has issues. But the way you've put her up on a pedestal in this story makes no sense, because she doesn't have a lot of redeeming qualities.
Really good story overall though!
| winnodinno chapter 9 . 6/8
Don't understand how people decades old can allow themselves to be spoken to like children.
| MyladyNancy chapter 38 . 5/17
I had to leave another comment and I can't on chapter 39. I miss your story and I am sure there won't be a "next one". but i just had to say again how much this has touched me and I would love to see this new world build. Or i would love to read another of your amazing writings.
| MyladyNancy chapter 39 . 5/13
wow there are no really words to express how much I have enjoyed this story. I could watch these winner in my mind for another 40 chapters. I am so grateful I found your work and took the time to pull it into my heart. thank you so much for sharing your vision.
| Booklover82013 chapter 39 . 4/12
Well done! I have to admit that I wasn't in the least interested when I read your teaser. But I accepted your challenge and read the Prologue and I was hooked. Aside from a few word usage errors (I.e. passed vs past, etc) your writing skills, grammatically and creatively were excellent. While a little on the morbid side, you certainly can keep the attention of your readers with your plot twists. I must say I also appreciate your inclusion of faith, not just for Carlisle for Edward and others as well. Since you left it a little open ended I'm hoping for a sequel. However, noticing that this was completed in 2012 (5 years ago), doesn't keep that hope easily alive. Thank you for sharing this excellent story with us.
| jk chapter 30 . 3/20
Alice is a fucking cunt. I wish that little whore would die already. Bella hasn't seen Edward is 10 years, its been TEN YEARS since HE LEFT HER and Alice thinks Bella needs some competition? Are you fucking kidding me? And since when is Edward and tanwhore so close? Edward would never fuck a WHORE so I don't really get why their as close as they are in your story.
| jk chapter 8 . 3/20
I really don't think Edward would have been friends with alice over all of them...carlisile and esme yes, cause their more mature...alice is nothing but a annoying, meddling little hoe bag.
| jk chapter 6 . 3/20
just what was the rest of the bikini story that jasper wasn't telling? you certainly aren't alluding to Edward masturbating whilst listening to a stupid ass song like that. Also whilst looking at a magazine filled with images of "food."
| Just A Drop In The Ocean chapter 39 . 3/13
I rarely write reviews especially to completed stories but this, this story took my breath away. I'm pretty sure that this is one of the best fanfictions, even one of the best works of literature I've ever read. I literally have no words to explain how much I loved The Fallout. The way you write is magical. During all 39 chapters I couldn't help but feel with the characters, laugh and cry with them. It's so rare for a story to touch me this way.
And the ending! God, the ending was marvelous! Bitter sweet, tear inducing but so full of hope, just like the rest of your work.
Thank you for writing this amazing story!
| sapphirezblue chapter 39 . 2/2
Wow. Just wow.
I am so beyond impressed with your storytelling skills while keeping true to each characters' central personalities. Bella/Phoenix did end up irritating me with her stubborn and mulish streak, but I suppose that's one of the reasons why I've never wholeheartedly embraced her in SM's books either.
This story is amazing and a must read. Bravo!
| DICATAKADD chapter 6 . 2/2
I love this line...
If Emmett was the brother a man always wanted, Jasper was the brother a man always needed.
| DICATAKADD chapter 2 . 2/1
Damn...I love this already.
| tanseynz chapter 39 . 12/14/2016
Powerful, exhausting, tragic and yet triumphant. You should be so proud of what you've achieved.
| Oneway2011 chapter 39 . 12/10/2016
I have read about 100 twilight fan fics and this is one of the best! A great story. Thank you