|Reviews for Don Eppes and Megan Reeves|
| tah chapter 24 . 7/14/2013
Now you have somewhat normal paragraphs however you are mixing tenses left and right.
And why do your titles mainly contain character names? Doing that doesn't draw readers to your efforts.
| tah chapter 23 . 1/7/2013
Learn basic punctuation. You have real issues with commas. You put them in all the wrong places and don't use them when needed.
Learn sentence structure.
You need a beta. Badly!
| cflat chapter 4 . 6/28/2009
Well, you've corrected the last names in the title, at least. But the spoken sentences are still clumped together! Why do you not separate the spoken sentences like you're supposed to?
And also, it would be really nice if your summary was actually what the story was about. That's really the whole point of having a summary- so people can get a little idea of what the story is about so then they'll be more interested in reading the story.
| NobelPrize chapter 1 . 6/28/2009
Wow. You REALLY need someone to show you how to paragraph, especially dialogue. This gives me a headache just looking at it.
| Liv Lemon chapter 2 . 6/11/2009
I like this story so far. But, It's Don EPPES and Megan REEVES. Just letting you know that.
| cflat chapter 1 . 6/9/2009
You know, I tried to read this, I really did. But it was just hard for me to concentrate because 1) it had really, really big paragraphs and 2) everything was so clumped together.
In your profile, you say you are a lawyer. Shouldn't a lawyer know that the spoken sentences should be spaced out? Surely by now you've read enough books by now to have seen that in there.
And also, like everybody else said, it's spelt Eppes. I dunno where you got Ebbs from. And also, Megan's last name is spelt Reeves, not Reaves.
And I just saw now, in the summary, you have two 'r's in story.
I have to say, I don't know why a lot of people like the Don/Megan paring. In the show, I've never seen any hint of romantic attraction between Don and Megan. Yes they are friends and respect each other, but there's no romantic attraction.
| Diogenes250 chapter 2 . 5/25/2009
Yikes. There is no way that civilians are invited on a raid. They'd be terribly in the way and a danger to themselves and everyone else.
| Diogenes250 chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
Um...Don's name is "Eppes" not "Ebbs"
| Berlian chapter 2 . 4/4/2009
Hay.. beside some spelling mistake,, i like the story.. i'm not read much NUMB3RS fanfic because there's just little Don/megan story.. i'm Don/Megan shippers,, and i don't care about what the real show tell us ;) Hope you'll update this story
| FraidyCat chapter 1 . 3/25/2009
Um...There is much I could say (but I won't). Is English your native language?
Let me just suggest that you do some basic research before you write. Unless you have some really clever word play planned for later, the title of this story demonstrates a lack of familiarity with the "Numb3rs" world. Don is an "Eppes", not an "Ebbs"; Megan's last name is "Reeves" as opposed to "Reaves".
You might also want to stick closer to "canon" (i.e., there has never been any indication of a romantic relationship between Don and Megan on the actual series). However, there are a lot of Alternate Universe stories out there; it's a matter of personal taste.