|Reviews for Stay|
| asdfjkl chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
ya, you hit their characters perfectly! angsty and they got through stuff, but not all chick flicky like way too many fics get.
| bhoney chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
This story was a wild ride. I read it in the zine, but wanted to come here and leave you some feedback for it.
"The light in his brother's green eyes had turned almost feral; the person Sam usually saw reflecting there was shadowed by fury...It took watching his father react the same way when Dean had been hurt for Sam to see that it was fear and not anger fueling the heavy voice, the rigid jaw, the sharp eyes. Fear of loss. Fear of losing." I love how you compare John and Dean here, because in many ways, Dean was the caretaker and father figure for Sam after their mother died, since John was gone so much. Nice parallel. And I always love Dean's fury when something has dared to hurt his brother.
This line was AWESOME: "Dean was his benchmark; he wouldn’t move until he saw his brother do the same." It's these tiny little touches you use to show the depth of the bond the boys have that make me love your work so much.
And this was a fantastic description, really eerie and stifling: "There was no sound. No light. No air... the darkness was killing the air, sucking it up and pulling it away. He was suffocating. A sure, steady hand gripped his lower leg and Sam jerked. “Easy.” Dean’s voice was low and calming. “Just take it easy, Sammy.” And suddenly Sam could breathe again." Again, love how you show that just a few words from Dean, a touch, centers Sam. It's subtle, but really powerful, and is what I aspire to do in my own work. Thanks for being a wonderful example of how to write the boys' bond in a powerful way through just tiny strokes of detail.
""After Jess... Sam, you could have gone. You could have left me. But you didn’t. You stayed.” “Well... I had to.” “No, you didn’t. You’re a good hunter, Sam. You could have gone after the demon, just like Dad. You could have gone your own way.” I would never have made it, Sam thought. Not without you." Loved Sam's thoughts there, and Dean's realization that Sam is not like their dad in at least that one, very important way.
LOVED Dean's realization here, it was huge for him: “He came to us when he thought it would help him, Sam. Not when it would help us. I mean... don’t get me wrong. The man is a hero. And I miss him, man. I miss him like hell. But… he’s gotta want to stay. He’s gotta believe that we’re stronger as a family. Or he’ll... break us.” And love that you still kept Dean in character when he made it-showing that he still idolize his dad and loved him, but is beginning to see him with an adult's eyes, able to see his flaws. And showing how much Dean values what he and Sam have, too.
Loved the sound you came up with for the lighter, and how Sam drank in the sight of his brother after being unable to see him in the dark for so long. And wow-when that spirit reached through and grabbed Dean, yanking him through the roof of the elevator, I nearly jumped.
This made me laugh: "“C’mon, Dean,” he chided himself. “What would MacGyver do? Gotta be a roll of duct tape and a Campbell’s soup can around here somewhere...” When his eyes lit on an actual roll of duct tape, he laughed." LOL
Man, that Allan was ticking me off. I'm glad Dean broke his nose. Just wish Sam'd gotten a go at him for shooting his brother. Jerk. I liked Jen, though, a lot.
LOVED how Sam came to the rescue when Dean was trapped in the burning building. Loved, loved, LOVED that whole section.
And I loved how you portrayed Dean as able to remember how to make homemade Napalm in the middle of a crisis. Love his inventiveness and ingenuity. He's so good like that.
This was nice phrasing: "speaking to each other in the coded language of the medical profession."
Loved Sam sending their dad the cryptic, coded message, letting him try to figure things out for a change, LOL. And it was funny to see Dean, all sure Sam was going to get it for that, find out Sam did it from his phone. *snicker*
And this-LOVED it! ""Thanks for staying." Dean's voice was almost a whisper. Sam waited for a moment before speaking, thinking about the one person who had never left, the one person who was the constant for the family, the one person who gave him, who gave their father, someone to come back to. He reached out and clapped a hand on Dean's leg, letting it rest there for a moment, letting Dean feel the reassurance of contact that Sam had felt inside the darkened elevator. "Always," Sam replied." Beautiful brotherly moment. Loved Sam's thoughts on Dean, and his reassurance. Just lovely.
This was a great story-tense, suspenseful, lots of hurt Winchesters, brotherly goodness, big explosions, and fantastic writing. All the things that typically characterize your work. Wonderful job. I'm favoriting this.
| gapdragon1 chapter 1 . 7/12/2009
Thoroughly enjoyable, a pleasure to read - thank you
| rozzy07 chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
What a joy to read from start to end this was - a true reminder of what makes the brotherly bond so special that has been so increasing lacking since S1. Their downright ornery natures to be a Winchester regardless of hurt or circumstance was beautifully played out here - with a sorely missed father digging away at their psyche, civilians to worry about and a seriously pissy little something of a ghost, and life threatening battering (yep loved the angst!)the boys certainly had their hands full here. Just adored how at the end it was just enough for the boys to be brothers. Great story telling that gave my seriously jaded heart a jolt.
| LittleLurker chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
Thanks for this beautiful story. Despite not having seen anything of season 4 so far (show doesn't air here and I have to wait for the DVDs), I did read a lot of post-season-3 stories here already. And I have to admit that it was really good to read a story where their lives were still *happier* than after Dean's return from hell, having to deal with a demon-blood-drinking, almost-evil, pretty-ignorant Sam, and with the impending apocalypse and mighty-smity angels further complicating their lives.
Another reason why I loved your story is the fact that your writing is excellent - you have them spot on! I could really imagine their faces and gestures and right about everything. Besides all of this, there are next to no errors and not even one slightly awkward sentence in the entire story!
Brilliant! So, please keep going, I'm looking forward to be reading more of your stories over the next days and weeks.
Take care! D.
| milkyway22 chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
What an awesome story!
I agree with you on the Season 1 thing cus I'm getting a little sick of the season 4 where they keep pitting Dean and Sam against each other because of this whole demon/angels and ruby and Sam drinking demon blood! ack.
When the heck did all that get stronger than the bond between the brothers?
The whole reason the show does so well?
I really can't believe Sam would do that in the first place.
I liked Season 1 the best because it was fresh and new and it was before the whole Same could turn evil thing and Dean could go to hell. Season 1 was just all about the boys surviving together without their dad and Jessica and doing it together.
Anways I loved your story because you wrote the dynamic between the brothers perfectly. It was like a breath of fresh air to read about them doing what they should be doing protecting each other, depending on each other, and killing the evil ghost before walking off into the sunset.
How cool would it be if the brothers from the season 4 could go back and meet the ones from season 1 and they could knock some sense into the season 4 ones remind them why they do this...to help people. I think if the ones from season 1 could see their future selfs they'd be horrified to see how big of a gap there was between them.
Hm...wanna write that? I'm not such a great writer obviously I'm sure this little bit here is filled with typos and grammatical errors. lol
But you however could do it quite well! :)
Anyways you don't have to I just think it'd be cool...to me anyways.
Okay this is really long...
Thanks for the great read!
Can't wait to read more!
| onemediumdrip chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
I sure enjoyed this little jaunt back to the good ol' days. I miss Season 1 so much. Don't get me wrong, I still adore the show. But nothing beats the first season.
Thanks for writing!
| Poaetpainter chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
| Onari chapter 1 . 4/27/2009
I didn't remember if I had reviewed this one. Well, quick note this time. The title was enough to draw me in (and so, the ending ""Thanks for staying." Dean's voice was almost a whisper." was perfect. I enjoyed very much the bit inside the elevator. And..well, you'll laugh, but when they mentioned OTIS I thought "the elevator". Most elevators are OTIS in Spain. My job's for instance. And I see the name every morning!
Thanks for sharing!
| Marlowe97 chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
Loved that one. Scary, spooky and enough tension to keep me hooked in spite of a lovely spring-day.
I totally agree: Season one is still the one I love to go back to, because even half-dead, the boys were still full of life (and fight - even with each other)Not that I dislike the others, but... You know.
So - I'm looking forward to more season-one-stories from you.
See you around
| MBrixton chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
this story is very nice! I like all yours stories and how make the characters real! Thanks for each of them! but... I wait it out more Brenna, Virge, Abe... I hope.
Forgive my english: I'm learning... from fanfic!
Ciao! From Milano, Italy.
| Intex chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
I very greatly miss season 1. When the boys were all cuddly and one sort of depended on the other. Quite a lot has changed in season 4.
This was a very much needed oneshot. I would've liked to see a little more happen to Allan, though. ;)
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
I cannot adequately put into words how much I loved that story. It was a straightforward - well, for the Winchsters at least - MOTW story and I am so in the mood for one of those. I miss the days when their lives weren't complicated by angels, apocalypses, demon blood and memories of hell..
The dialogue was perfect all the way through, so in character that I could see them as I was reading, and despite the tension I kept laughing out loud at lines that were just so spot on. In fact one of them, about Dean being glad he had Sam there to point stuff out, I had to cover my mouth lest my boss realise I wasn't reading a work document..
There were so many wonderful lines that I could sit here and quote the whole story, but this one stuck out as it is just so true.
Sam nodded in agreement, knowing instinctively that despite the pitch-darkness Dean felt it as he felt every response, every refusal, every rebellion, every reaction that Sam had ever made throughout his lifetime. Dean simply listened to him on a different level than the world, than John, than even Jess had.
I think that also stands true for Sam as well, in that he listens to Dean on a different level than the world. He always sees past the mask to what his brother really feels beyond that. His line in the show about knowing Dean better than anyone else in the entire world remains a favourite of mine and just sums up their relationship, for both of them, IMO..
Thank you, for a fantastic afternoon spent with our boys. I can see myself reading this one again and again ;)
Oh, and just finally, I am SO glad Dean pummeled Alan in the end. If I were him I wouldn't have stopped...
| pickamix chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
I loved this... I loved the way he got rid of the elevator... that was great. Hehehe
| Colby's girl chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
Wow, I hadn't realized how much I missed the "simpler" times of season one until I got caught up in your terrific story. Don't get me wrong, I love season four and all its drama and twists but I'm also realizing I miss the characters...as they were (more "innocent"...if that makes any sense. LOL)
I'm glad you'll be sticking around in season one for a bit. Gives me shelter in the storm that Kripke has unleashed upon us. Thanks!