Reviews for Forever
AllSheNeedsIsLove chapter 1 . 1/28/2010
Oh so sad.
kitty of silver chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
Katielorraine chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
his- his- his EYES! OMG! He cut out his eyes! how do you come up with this stuff? i could write something like this but not as good or as Horror movie-ish(?) (i liked it)
Katielorraine chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
his- his- his EYES! OMG! He cut out his eyes! how do you come up with this stuff? i could write something like this but not as good or as Horror movie-ish(?) (i liked it)
Schizophrenic.Artlessness.13 chapter 1 . 4/14/2009
Okay, lucky me! Two in one night and I just now found this sequel! I'm over-joyed, it should be illegal to make someone like me so happy in one time, but this one isn't nearly as good as the first.

It explains those missing details, but instead of this being a sequel, it's better described as prequel. Since it's the actual beforehand events that led up to the mystery of Riku's death within the first story, which left me stumped till I read this.

The actual stabbing scenes in this book could've been done better...I'm guessing, because you like the KH characters, it isn't easy to describe their deaths. It's easy to kill a character, but to describe it in the horrific gore needed to continue from the first of these fanfictions, I did not see that within this story. For instance, the part where it says:

'Quickly sidestepping, I tackle him and stab him continually without mercy. The fire of rage and murder burning inside me. Finally, finally… I’m getting rid of Riku. Finally, Riku won’t be in this world anymore. His blood splashes around nastily as I continue to stab him… one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight… until I lost count how many times I’ve stabbed him.'

This part was quick to the point, which is good for a one-shot, but it was too quick. The side-stepping part, is fine and so is tackling him, but it needs more details, the reader can paint this out only because we know the characters from a game, manga, and other commercial sources. Jazz it up with something like this:

'Quickly side-stepping to block him, I tackled him and brought the knife down without mercy to his (insert wherever he hit), and ground it into his flesh. The fire, the rage, the murder burning inside me! Finally, finally...I'm getting rid of Riku. Finally, Riku won't be in this world anymore. His blood splashes and splurts everywhere: the ground, the table, me, everything! I do not stop at one hit, oh no! That would not do, that would not satisfy me, not now! One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight! until I have lost count of how many times I bring my cruel blade to his soft flesh.'

That has a lot of errors in it, but I'm just trying to make my point-and have a reason for being gore-y- )Also when counting, since when I read this, it seems to get faster and faster, using periods may have a better affect on the reader.

The part that really got me into this story, is where Riku's eyes get cut out. Delicious. Twisted, I know, I know, been told before, but that was a good choice, because humans are squeamish by nature. Eyes are one place that I've found people to just go crazy at. Like in the Saw movies, he gets shot in the eye and that just makes you wanna throw up right there and then. I've also seen the same effect with fingers, like drilling them or nailing them through the joints, it makes me cringe just at the thought of it, though, you did the eyes well, it would have been better to do a little research on how the body reacts when it is cut like that, and not just making it a one big science experiment fest, though, that's fun and tolerable in this form of writing.

Once more, I love your style, few grammar errors, and it's obvious you try and you're going to get somewhere if you keep practicing. Another lovely to your edition. Can't wait to read more from you.

~. .13
Jellybeans-steh chapter 1 . 4/1/2009
Friend of mine: "You're soo not retelling me this story! That's just sick! And it seems more maniacally with you making this strange gushing sounds and this hand movements! Stop it, it's so gross and no fun! Ya know, you're sick too! Hell of a sicko that can laugh and squeal at Axel's words... Weird psyco chick!"

Yeah, she stopped talking with me...Two days now...

But it's true that I really liked this story...I love horror and all this blood spilling! You amaze me every time, so to hell with my friend if she doesn't like it!* gets beaten*


Ki-chanForPresident chapter 1 . 3/30/2009
dude...that was terrifying...especially the part where Riku came in...*shudders unpleasantly* I love the whole crazy, psycho Axel thing- but man, oh man...that -was- violent, and I don't normally read fics as graphic as THIS was...

but the whole concept of Axel just wanting Roxas to be with him forever just really made me sad...I mean, he wanted Roxas to stay with him forever to the point where he would actually kill Roxas...really sad *whimpers*

very well written, very SCARY! xDD and poor Riku! the whole, eyeball carving out thingy was pretty durn scary...I actually skipped over a few parts of it x3 you did a good job with making it horrific, as you said :3 good job
xXFlutterbyXx chapter 1 . 3/28/2009

Sorry, I couldn't resist XD leave it to me to make a joke about a gorey and depressing story haha XD
SeyoukaiStar chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
The suspense was eating me!

I usually don't read horror fics, but I loved Eternity and this oen is just as good :)

I think you wrote the whole psycotic!Axel character very convincingly. His thoughts and behaviour when he's alone contrasting to the words he used while greeting Riku was amazing and chilling.

Amazing sequal :]
Twister Atma chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
i wanna say this first i am SO pissed that i missed reviewing this first but we had a black out last night and i wake up late ugh dammit! okay review time! this was like sick, disgusting, and awesome all at the same time not even kidding. especially the way my brain understands things i felt like i was watching it happen. kinda funny i thought i might feel sick if i read this but i really didn't and I've seen food that makes me feel sick to the stomach i guess this was too suspenseful for me to feel sick plus violence doesn't affect me that much so yeah. i noticed u put some rikuroku in there xD it's really good kind makes u wonder if your still in your writer's block u like writing in first person when your in writer's block though. but in the end i guess loving someone past death causes problems for u and everyone else, i'm starting to think you'll get out of that writer's block soon if not well it'll go away eventually right? i just noticed this is getting really long whoops xD have a fun time reading this~ lol xD

-Twister Atma chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
WTF?You killed Riku! Sexy a-s-s Riku!BUT ME CRAVES FOR MORE AND AXEL IS A SICK B-A-S-T-A-R-D For killing Roxas and WRITING!
FinalFallenFantasy chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
Axel's a wee bit insane, I'm afraid. *Shudders* poor Riku. Poor Roxas, though he didn't have the terrifying build up to being killed, whereas poor old Riku... I'm kinda scared of how good you are at getting us inside the character's mind - you can actually feel the possessiveness over Roxas, the hatred for Riku and the peverse delight when he's disfiguring him. You're really good at describing the emotions and surroundings of characters and your grammar and spelling is still good.

Will there be a third one, or is this the end, I wonder...
Nepece chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
Oh Axel, you need to buy a freezer. The fridge is not cold enought.
Voodoo0970 chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
Sexy Sexy. gota love the blood, violence and dark romance. awesome story! axel carving out rikus eyes is a very nice touch! it made me hungary!
Canvasgirl chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
*rubs eyes* I'll miss them... T.T

Lol... anyway, wow... you know this scared the crap outta me, right Taru? I mean, if you make it so you're afraid to visit your own fridge for a late night snack you know you're good xD But its scary to think that there really are people that crazy out there... *shudders* I guess if you're really that obsessed with the person, you'd do pretty much anything O.O Even kill them... and their super hot Riku *poses*

Seriously though, great job Taru, your skills amaze me so :3 *hugs*