|Reviews for Hero|
| MistEternal chapter 3 . 12/6/2009
I read the first few chapters of this... Your writing is solid and free of grammatical errors but the pacing of your plot and your characterizations are off. I really don't mean to be offensive but it just is too difficult to suspend my belief enough to connect to this fic. Perhaps you could give Hermione a few more logical reasons to stay with/have married Viktor (friends dying in the war causing her grief - he was sweet to her at first but then took a turn for the worst and she's trying to get back to where they were even though selfish is what he really is). It would also help the believability that a woman who is afraid and duitiful to her husband as Hermione is would randomly have sex with someone like Snape if you gave them more of a past than just what happened between them as student/teacher at Hogwarts. Maybe they had a hurt/comfort moment before things got really bad in the war but he pushed her away when she needed him so she went to Viktor.
If nothing else in the first chapter alone it might help for you to make it more clear that Hermione is actually considering suicide. Having Snape think that she is and say something, only to have her tell him he wasn't going to isn't really enough for him to be absolutely sure that's what she was going to do.
I really hope I haven't offended you because that isn't my intent. I know it's hard to hear this kind of thing from anyone but I really think you have some good ideas and a strong grasp of the mechanics of writing... you just have some developmental work to consider.
| pstibbons chapter 4 . 7/18/2009
VK was not adequately Hexed at the end.
| ElGato44 chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
Did you get this idea from Samurai Champloo?
| Nadeyshico chapter 4 . 7/3/2009
So sweet )
| Varity Sinning chapter 4 . 6/8/2009
I enjoyed it very much.
| snakegirl-sprockett chapter 4 . 4/28/2009
A part of me wonders, will Victor actually fight to keep her?
I know you've finished tho!
| postalservice chapter 4 . 4/19/2009
I loved it! Perfect ending :)
| postalservice chapter 3 . 4/19/2009
I never liked Krum; but now I just hate him :/
| postalservice chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
I can't help but be at awe by the way you write :) it's so... perfect. It really makes the story come to life.
| absorbaloff chapter 4 . 4/6/2009
So sweet. Great ending. I loved it.
| absorbaloff chapter 2 . 4/6/2009
"who put you up to this?" tricky tricky. I love it.
| FascinatingSnape chapter 4 . 4/4/2009
This was a great story. I hadn't read it before, so it was new to me. Great job. Thank you so much!
| ladyxxknight chapter 4 . 4/1/2009
I liked this story )
| Half-Blood Metamorphmagus chapter 4 . 4/1/2009
Great chapter. I liked this ending, it's a pity this story will not be longer than 4 chapters, but this is still great and better than nothing at all. :P
Keep up the good work and don't stop writing! D
| LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgIrL chapter 4 . 4/1/2009
Amazing! I Love it! It's Great!