Reviews for An Apple A Day
Bronze Barometer chapter 4 . 4/21/2009
! Sorry it took so long to review. I read this chapter really late at night and then fell asleep, and forgot that I hadn't written a review until today... oh, well. (Psst! You totally called Apple "she". Like, once, in the second chapter. You don't know how hard I had to comb through the chapters to find that one time again so I didn't look like a fool for saying that. And, hm, PM... Well, I've never used it myself, but I'm sure there's a way... after all, there's a way to turn it on and off in the profile settings.)

Hee-hee, I sense the arrival of the "criminal mastermind". How exciting! Everything's more fun when a criminal mastermind's involved! You weren't kidding about the "several Eevees" part, were you? :P And I realized (while searching through chapter 2 to find that one time you used "she") that Carly is one of the "switcheroo-magoo" peeps. I thought the name looked familiar. I'm still trying to find a way to work that phrase into everyday language.
Bronze Barometer chapter 3 . 4/11/2009
Aww, I felt so bad for the mom in this chapter. Poor lady.

Some nitpicking, because I'm kind of disgusted with myself for never finding some useful criticism to tell you:

In this chapter you started refering to Apple as "it" (well, I'm not sure if you called her "it" directly, but I'm sure that at some point you said "its eyes"), and I think you were using female pronouns in the other chapters, so it looks kind of inconsistant.

Um. Also, this little section kind of confused me:

"{Aww, is this all we get for dinner? I already miss your mom's specially baked potatoes and grilled steak...} Apple squawked. The fluffy Pokemon eyed me slyly, trying to push me to lose my temper.

"Mom wouldn't let you have that stuff! You've never even tried it!" I exclaimed, ignoring Apple's poor attempt to anger me."

I'm not quite sure why this would make anybody angry... but then again, I guess that's why you called it a "poor attempt to anger me" in the next sentence.
Bronze Barometer chapter 2 . 4/5/2009
This chapter was really good, too! I like the mean nicknames (does that make me sound like a horrible person, or what?). I'm gonna have to find an excuse to call somebody switcheroo-magoo, now.
Bronze Barometer chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
Sigh. I wanted to review, because you asked so nicely, and I liked the chapter, but I can't think of anything to say 'cause it's so short... I'll think of some long, helpful critique for the next chapter.
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