Reviews for Snap
distracted122 chapter 2 . 5/19/2009
I am not going to lie. That was propably the most depressing thing I have ever read. It was also one of the most beautiful. If an authors ultimate goal is to get their reader to feel something, you have more then met that goal. If something can be awful and awesome at the same time that is what this was for me. I would recommend this to anyone if for no other reason to let them see what a wonderful author you are. You are simply one of the best writers I have ever read.
deemed-unecessary chapter 2 . 5/15/2009
yeah i thought the ending was pretty clear.

astounding.

ha! this was really one of the best stories ive ever read, taking into account all published novels too. and only in two chapters. i really loved the angst actually. very well portrayed-and there coulnt be a better reason for edward's deterioration on the inside. i mean, murder of the innocent? cant get worse than that.

and all that and he didnt commit suicide. i liked that. he still had sense not to hurt anybody else, even if he was hurting on the inside. the power and truth of angela's words i guess also had an impact on that.

so yeah, overall i thought this was pretty darned magnificent. so long ive been waiting for the perfect character death, and i finally found it in this story.

just...perfect. :D
deemed-unecessary chapter 1 . 5/15/2009
oh my goodness. that was amazingly well written. a very long part, but the wording-how it flowed made it just blissful joy to read.

vocabulary was utilized well, and just came in at all the right moments. emotions, descriptions, thoughts, feelings. all of it i thought was just nailed and laid out in a stunning way. absolutely clear picture in my mind of how everything looked, how everyone felt.

characterization was excellent also. for some moments i actually lost myself in it-thought that it was actually stephenie meyer's edward and her bella, and emmett and so on that i was reading about. quite a feat, that. you're the first person on this site that ive met that got it downpacked like that.

i love how you alternated it. the end was a shocker for sure, and an excellent plot twist. didnt expect it at all. i like how you created this alternate ending. lots of other authors have tried it but i really like this onwe the most. it was so well described. and everything seemed well thought out.

i dont think i have any negative comments about this piece, here. im not a sap, lol, but i really think this was darned near perfect.

bravo, and kudos to you.
Sare Liz chapter 2 . 5/6/2009
You know, I usually add stories to my favorites simply because I wish to follow them, and that is the most convenient way for me to do so. Usually, I add stories to my favorites and they are not remotely favorite.

Yours in the first that is.

I don't love angst. I don't revel in seeing someone trapped in their own brokenness. I do love the one in a hundred dosage of pure suffering... because it's true. I think perhaps that we as writers... it's possible at least that we can only ever write what we experience - not exactly, of course, but close enough. And so few of us have experienced enlightenment, yet so many of us have experienced deep suffering. Perhaps why really excellent romance that is healthy and realistic, though popular, is so hard to come by.

I have a similar plot in my head. Not exactly, of course, but my own answer to 'what if Edward couldn't stop himself?' It has a similar, though different ending, given my views on vampire mating habits and ontology. And yet there is that same feel of a difficult situation that is never the less full of promise, and yet it, like so many other situations, was dropped off a cliff to be dashed on the rocks below, never to be recovered, never to be fully realized, all because we allowed our own negativity to rule us completely in one moment or another.

So, thank you for writing such a beautiful and heart rending story.
simplyunwordable chapter 2 . 5/5/2009
that was really sad. I mean, it was well written and original, but it made me cry. I think it's good to read something sad every now and then..but that was just heartbreaking. I cant really say i liked it, because it was painful to read. But it was admirable. I think I'm going to go read some sickeningly fluffy fanfiction now...sorry I cant fully appreciate it...but if it helps, i had to keep reading through it...it's an addicting concept, and an addicting little story. You are an amazing writer.
rcorrine chapter 2 . 5/3/2009
as morbid as it was, it was beautiful too.
paper.creations chapter 2 . 4/29/2009
I...don't know what to say - you've left me rather speechless.

Of course Edward buried her in his meadow. That is such an Edward thing to do.

I was kind of hoping - selfishly - that Bella would pop up all vampiric and be like "Nice try, fool", but she didn't. She actually died. I think that's a first in my books.

It was gorgeous, of course. You have a wonderful way with words.

I really liked the part with Angela, you could really see her kind heart shine through. I can't believe you killed Tyler though. I guess Edward not intervening would have caused deaths to both parties of the accident. Good thing Edward already killed Bella!

This story made me sad, granted. But it was also very pretty, very poetic and very touching. I loved it, and I'm so glad I got to read it.

Congrats on the fantastic two-shot. I loved every second of it from the attack - which was chilling - to the sad - and slightly creepy - realization that he had buried his book-love underneath his meadow.

-Maggie
reddish.ruse chapter 2 . 4/29/2009
Oh my. That ending was haunting. You know when you watch a movie or read something and you just feel weird after? I feel kind of weird. But it's a good weird. I ramble in reviews, sorry. I really liked that, though.. hm. I'm sort of at a loss for words, which isn't very helpful in a review, woops. Maybe once the weirdness wears off I'll review the first chapter with coherency. Really though, I did like it. You're a great writer.
closet-twilighter chapter 1 . 4/27/2009
Oh my God!
Lizzie Hopscotch chapter 2 . 4/26/2009
whoa that was morbid...and creepy...and brillaintly written

much hugs

lizzie hopscotch
CrazyLikeaBear chapter 2 . 4/22/2009
WOW...i had a moment of silence when that was done. your piece was phenomenal. so full of grief...i'm glad most fanfics aren't so depressing, but you REALLY captured the horror of what would have happened had Edward lost control...what makes it even worse is that he doesn't know what he was missing...and yet he still feels it somehow...so terrible. thank you...i hope to read more from you soon!
Holly78 chapter 2 . 4/15/2009
I know you said this chapter was harder for you to write but it is absolutely beautiful. Morbid and haunted yes but still beautiful. I love the decomp references throughout and I love how you portray Edward dealing with what he did. I know other fics like this have him bounce back from it because of his family and Bella but I think your story is more of how it would have gone done had Edward really attacked her the first day. Again it is beautifully haunted. :) Great job.
Holly78 chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
I am not sure what to say. I have read other stories were Edward attacks Bella on the first day of school but in those stories the authors often times rush through to get to the parts where she is a vamp and then they fall in love and whatnot. I really like that you don't do that. I like that we are hearing it through Edward and I like how he is unsure of himself and how he handles losing control, and the aftermath. I feel Edward snapping her neck is a very "Edward" thing to do and I love how you show his reasoning for it and Alice's shriek as she makes her decision. It is very well writen and I am not going to lie a little heartbreaking.
Wolfshadow31 chapter 2 . 4/11/2009
Well, as you said in your description it is dark. lol. I didn't like it for that reason only. It has nothing to do with your writing. You are a good writer, and the story was well written and thought out. I just felt kind of hollow after reading it. It wasn't that it felt incomplete either - it was just a very sad read for me, and I felt kind of empty after reading it. Maybe that was the point? ;)

You did a good job with the characters, and the emotional struggles. Please don't think I am flaming you - I'm not. I didn't like how the story played out(personal preference), but I do like how you told it(very well actually!), if that makes sense?

In short, I like your writing - just will steer clear of the dark ones next time. ;) I look forward to reading some of your other stories...
nothingleft chapter 2 . 4/10/2009
Very dark, but that's what would have happened. Good thing SM saved them! ;P
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