|Reviews for Tangled Up|
| tonyfan31970 chapter 5 . 1/13/2010
Hello again Brightblue. This is the second - well, third- time in so many months I've read this, and every chapter is a page-turner. I especially loved this chapter as well. I also know that on the surface you could assume that it's easy to write pre-existing characters, but actually I think the opposite is the case. So. kudos to you for writing them so well! I love your pirate references for Tony- cracks me up.
| BigRed502 chapter 22 . 1/13/2010
aw cute ending. so glad they have a happy family :)
| molamola chapter 22 . 1/5/2010
This story is up there as one of my favourite AU's to come out of Judgment Day. You developed the story over multiple chapters without losing focus, and kept me enthralled the entire time. Thanks for sharing this universe with us. :)
| Jesusrocks chapter 22 . 11/29/2009
Wow. Just...wow. Awesome story.
I have to admit, when I first starting reading it I didn't like it. I'm not a fan of the present-tense POV, I find a lot of people can't write in it. You can. I think this story is actually better because it's as if the story is happening as you're reading it, not as if it's already happened. Amazing job there.
Ending...AMAZING! At first I thought it was Vance because I read 'later' and not 'earlier'. I was wondering why everyone was upset about Vance dying...not that his life shouldn't be mourned but the feelings were wrong. I LOVE how it ended with the beginning. That was another twist that made the story so much cooler.
Amazing job...just amazing. I don't think I could come up with another term as to how awesome this story is. Continue writing, please.
| BigRed502 chapter 21 . 11/23/2009
aw that was simply adorable :) yay for a return to normalcy. Gibbs is such a cute father figure :)
| KindleLyn chapter 22 . 11/13/2009
Aww...what a happy way to end this story! I loved the little wrap ups for Sarah and the thing about her father corresponding with McGee, and the happy scene in Haifa was so wonderful...I want one. (And now we're back to that jealousy of a fictional character thing again) I have to admit, I begrudge Eli his happy ending, but I know you didn't know what an &*(h% he was when you started the story, so I'm trying to be okay with it.
The birth scene...well pre- and post-birth were really well-written also. Loved the "Other hand!" thing, and Ziva's comment about Abby and the video camera. It ain't easy to take these characters and put them in situations that are so far off what they're apt to do or experience in the show, yet still make them feel totally in character, so definitely well done on that!
I thought the last scene was an interesting choice to end the story...and much of it was written beautifully - capturing the atmosphere and emotion very well. The last line just didn't do the whole story justice, though(IMHO). I'm trying to think of what would have, but no luck yet...it just didn't feel strong enough to wrap everything together.
Anywho...thanks for taking the time to respond to all my rambling reviews along the way. I loved this story, and it made it so much more fun to 'chat' with you while I read it.
| KindleLyn chapter 21 . 11/13/2009
I wasn't planning on reviewing this chapter...I mean how many times can I say the words "I loved..." and "awesome" and the like...but then you made that comment about MW's hotness at the end and I just had to bite. Why can't I be as lucky as your Ziva, to have a mind-blowingly HOT guy like him? Is it wrong to be jealous of a fictional character?
Have you got the new NCIS soundtrack with MW's "Bitter and Blue" on it? I am almost ashamed to admit how many times I have listened to that song, but I just love having his voice in my ear! Oh how I wish we could have a video of him singing it, because I bet that would be beyond sexy.
Well, you asked for it and there it is...I could go on about MW, but perhaps I will go ahead and finish reading your story instead.
p.s. This was a really lovely chapter, btw. I'm a sucker for Tiva-ness.
| KindleLyn chapter 19 . 11/13/2009
I love Gibbs' comment, "There is not enough Bourbon in the world." That made me laugh, and that wasn't the only thing in this chapter that made me laugh either...great blend of emotion and a little bit of humor on the side. All the dialogue was excellent!
| tonyfan31970 chapter 22 . 11/13/2009
WOW! Ok, I have to say that I started this and then stopped because it was off canon so much. Then after I read all your other stuff on NCIS I felt impelled- I thought, oh, what the heck, it's a TV show anyway- who cares? Then I got the part where we find she's pregnant and I was irritated. But the writing was so good and the storyline so compelling that I kept reading. To my husband's chagrin, I was still up at 4:30 this morning reading this! (Finally had to give in and shut it off.) Just finished it. Honestly, it's too bad these aren't your characters- I mean seriously, you should invent your own set of characters and write a novel! At least, a novella.
Your characterization is for the most part excellent- there were a few places where I thought Abby was a little too simplistic, and Gibbs uncharacteristically warm or patient- however he sometimes does surprise us, no? I'm not sure, but I think it would be harder to write established characters than start from scratch; especially when you're trying to take the characters places they haven't been before, so I'm certainly not saying it's easy or that I can do it better- haven't tried, but I like to write- just never fanfiction- and I'm thinking I may eventually give it a whirl. But if you and a few other authors keep coming up with this great stuff, I'll never have time to write!
The way you flashed back and forth is really intriguing, and I liked it. I also like the way you had different settings to keep some interest in the scenery. The introduction of other characters along the way was nice too.
I have resisted - up until now- reading much where Tony and Ziva got together already; somehow it seemed too confusing; but if it had happened, this is when I would have assumed it to happen, at the end of s 5, so I gave in, and am glad that I did! And really I thought I would hate the storyline about them having a baby and settling down, but actually it was refreshing- so much of the fanfic deals with angsty stuff, which I like too, but this was kind of fun. I'd rather be reading this than a novel I"m only half-interested in- at least these are about my favorite characters!
(I have only just recently become an NCIS fanatic- my husband got me hooked on the reruns- and really just became totally hysterical about it in August, but I've gotten on the Tiva bandwagon recently and decided it's a good thing. Then following that I've completely fallen in love with either Tony or MW, I'm not sure which is worse:)You know you've passed the point of ridiculousness when you see a photo of his wife and feel slightly jealous!)
Anyway keep up the good work; I have you on my favorites bar and will anxiously await more!
| KindleLyn chapter 17 . 11/13/2009
This was a fabulous action scene...it had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, and that has to be a good sign. Action and plot are my sticking points, too - emotional and angst and reflection come so much easier - so I know where you're coming from. But see, all it takes is a little practice and persistence and you learn to be good at the things that don't come easy! Reading this story is re-motivating me to return to my own half-finished fic which I've been stuck with for a few weeks because things actually had to start happening and I didn't know what to do. So, thanks for that. One day, I will actually publish a story with plot!
| KindleLyn chapter 14 . 11/12/2009
Yay for the Tive reunion - it was awesome...and I loved this line: "Tony mutters something about rules and coworkers and foreign soil as Gibbs turns back to Shelley." What can I say, it made me smile.
| KindleLyn chapter 13 . 11/12/2009
Rule Number 19 cracks me up - and it fits quite well with the other rules, so nice job on that. Tony's little plea at the end, "But please don't send me back to sea," was just adorable - and definitely something Tony would do in the show...in fact, the dialogue is still just spot on between Tony and Gibbs. I am loving it!
| KindleLyn chapter 12 . 11/12/2009
Oh my god, is Eli really going to mess up everything by going to Barcelona? I could kill that man, sometimes...most of the time.
| KindleLyn chapter 10 . 11/12/2009
I think you did a fine job cracking Gibbs - his conversations with Tony and Ziva were very believable. The Gibbs-Vance scene was a little bit...odd feeling, but I couldn't have done any better. The show hasn't really given us a whole lot to work with on Vance, I guess. He's an enigma if I ever saw one.
Anyway, I loved the fact that Tony started yelling at Gibbs before Gibbs even said hello. And I am totally with you on Tony's dirty mouth - I didn't think it was out of character or inappropriate at all. Can't wait to see what happens next, and I am hoping I don't stay up too late reading this story - I have work tomorrow, after all.
| KindleLyn chapter 7 . 11/12/2009
OK, trying to not get in so much of a hurry to finish that I forget to review along the way...trying hard, I promise!
I love the conversation between Gibbs and Tony - and I LOVE the fact that Abby is holding Gibbs' DNA results hostage. For being early in your NCIS career, you sure nailed the character interactions going on here.
I admit, my first thought when I read the word "pregnant" was, "oh, no!" But, just because something has been done before, poorly, by way too many people doesn't mean that it can't be done well. And, judging by what I've read so far, I'm guessing that your chances of pulling it off are good...so I'm still in.