|Reviews for Descent|
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/18
WOAH THAT WAS GOOD! Please update?!
| marlenajo chapter 3 . 8/3/2011
ahahaha i know it's been a couple years, but i love this story so much!
| Paperback28 chapter 3 . 6/29/2009
Wow... interesting R/S story with a twist! Great job writing it, I really like it! Keep writing! :)
| Lost In The Stars chapter 1 . 4/2/2009
What? You can't stop there! I want more!
Ha, great job though. Really nice so far. Can't wait to see where you take this. :)
One suggestion- Hugo is younger than Rose, but in the flashback of her first year you have him heading to Hogwarts with her.
But other than that, I really, really enjoyed this. Nice descriptions and all that. I like how you described Malfoy's sounds very attractive ;D
Anyways, hope you'll update soon! I'll definately be following this. :)
| marlenajo chapter 1 . 4/2/2009
whoa. What DID happen? I'm curious for more! Your writing is great...it really keeps me captivated!
Keep it up, I can't wait until chapter two!
| Moa chapter 1 . 4/2/2009
Wow, really intriguing so far!
Lysander and Lorcon, are they Luna's sons? I think I read somewhere that she married a direct descendant of Newt Scamander. If they are, you should probably try to make that a bit clearer, cause everyone hasn't read that interview.
I also think you should write it all in past tense. The part that you wrote in past tense had a much better flow than the beginning or end. Just a tip.
I like the fact that it starts off somewhere sinister and then flashes back to her first day att Hogwarts. It keeps it interesting. I also loved the: "And it breaks her heart." Perfect!
Just a couple of details: Why is Draco Malfoy walking in the corridors? Shouldn't it be Scorpius? It's sort of confusing when you say: "His father petrifies her, the way he sneers at her, mutters words like, 'half blood' and 'filth' as she passes him in the corridors." You need to explain that a bit.
Hugo is actually younger than Rose...
Albus's nickname is Al, not Albie...
Why will she miss James and Albus? They'll be at Hogwarts with her.
Other than this, it was great!