|Reviews for My Trigger|
| Jericho.NightSurgeon chapter 10 . 6/28/2011
Dun dun duuun!
I love everything that was said, but especially the way it was said!
You are amazing at plot reveal! Maybe even one of your specialties ;)
The perfect pace, small amounts at a time, enough to make you satisfied, and less enough to make you extremely curious!
This is so ominous and sinister, and I can't wait to find out more!
The plot is becoming absolutely amazing, if not very very sad and dark. But you manage to keep it enjoyable. There is a great sense of hope, that things could be okay, but still a big feeling of dread that anything could go wrong at any time.
Who is this collective! D:
I absolutely ADORE the interaction between Cox and JD, best character interaction yet :)
I also love what you did with Ben, the whole thing fits perfectly. It makes sure you don't forget that this is futuristic with advanced technology, and also keeps you wondering about how it's all possible. Especially with JD asking so many "how's".
I can't wait to find out!
Absolutely incredible writing, there's no doubt you have amazing talent! Everything I read of you I extremely enjoy. It reads so well, and I always wanna read on and find out more.
Ansolutely fantastic :)
You are my inspiration, I really hope to learn from your writing.
| Jericho.NightSurgeon chapter 9 . 6/27/2011
Oh my God O_O
This chapter was amazing! The best one yet!
Also, it was insanely massive P
But in a good way!
I have to say, you seriously improve in style as the story progresses. This chapter read so easily, I could just sit back and it all just flowed perfectly. Things progressed logically and all the events were very satisfying, as in, what I wanted to read, but still surprising D
All the dialogue was so insanely intriguing! It was witty, mysterious, in character and so meaningful.
I am aching to find out what the hell is going on! But I love the slow reveal. And you're doing it perfectly. I'm aching to find out, but not in an annoying way. A wanting way.
JD hugged Cox ;D *Yaaay!*
I loved that D
Especially what he says afterwards.
This entire chapter was so good, and I cannot wait to find out what happens next!
| Cora Cox chapter 19 . 4/17/2011
its me again
its been like 6 months and i still check in almost every day. i know i would get the email, but still. this is the first scrubs, well really any, fanfic i had ever read. it is still my favorite, and i have read at least 100(no joke, probably more) since then.
you should definitely update this. i get that u might not have as much inspiration as before, and you shouldnt let your writing suffer because of that, but please dont give up on it.
btw im working on some fan art. and by working on i mean i hav an idea, but thanks to homework, i hav only sketched.
and you have great music taste
| Jericho.NightSurgeon chapter 8 . 12/16/2010
I don't know what to say...
I am.. quite stunned. By the words, by the feelings.. just how deep it is.
And the reality.
First of all the descriptive language. It's just... wel.. words I wouldn't even think of using, and didn't know that that's how it should be described until I saw you use it. But not over it. Not overly complicated words that confuse you. Just.. the right words. Just complicated enough to exhibit your level of intelligence ;p Your writing is sophisticated. The good kind.
From beginning til end I was just... quiet.. reading in shock, excitement, and feeling eager to learn more. The whole scene at the beginning just grasped me. It was amazingly done. The part that was most grasping was the harsh reality that there is no honourable or dignified way to die. No laying down in a half hug with someone, wispering them your final words, some beautiful moment and then they silently pass away. When he tried to convey his last words, but only the gurgle of blood..
It was very shocking, all of it, but terrifyingly real.
and when she says "She would do this, for him. She would be there." that seemed like such a hard thing to do, considering how afraid and traumatised she was.. it was touching. Hauntingly so.
All of it was such a traumatising experience..
And God, it really makes you wanna know what the hell happened! What did she do, or didn't she do.. who is he, how did he die, why was is her fault... you're holding back the important bits, and dropping just enough information to make one hungry for the truth. Simply masterful writing, and plot revealing.
You're really good at that :P
All the above goes for the rest as well; just amazingly written, and a wonderful insight into the history and that little bit about the future; the ominous, ominous future.
Oh, and I wanted to ask, do you care about having spelling mistakes pointed out? Just let me know, and I will. I understand that when you write this much, and are so focussed on your plot, and the way you write it, you can't pick up on everything, but I don't know if you're still bothered to go back and correct. There were a couple in here, but I forgot where it was. I just spent ages trying to find them, but I can't seem to XD Just let me know if you do )
| Jericho.NightSurgeon chapter 7 . 12/15/2010
I know you asked me for critisism... but it's just too good, I can only say good things... so I'll just go over some points I suppose :P
I'll start at the beginning;
I love how you made me like Argyle. All this time he seemed like an evil bad dude, even though I felt like he was the awesome kind of bad. But now, from his perspective, he just seems like a big, powerful teddybear :D
Love the relationship you're creating between him and .
Again, I love the little details you add in, that seem irrelevant to the plot itself, but add to the realism and genuinity of it all, like the whole part about Argyle not wanting to be called sir. It really made the character feel human, and fleshed him out, teaching us important things about who he is, in subtle ways. The way you do that is simply amazing..
I can only hope that when I write my things, I can think of things like this.
Same with JD calling Carla to check if there were two Coxes, just to make sure. I didn't expect him to, but when he did it just seemed like the most logical thing someone would do in his situation.
Just wanna point out a tiny thing here, just before that; I don't know if anyone already pointed it out, and I'm pretty sure you're aware, but you wrote defined instead of defied in "Though it defined everything he knew about science, ..."
Just thought I'd mention it "
I also love the way you set the room up. It was impeccable description; I could totally envision what it looked like, and I really liked what I saw (You know how I love me some machinery). I can't WAIT to find out what the big floaty thing is! 8D
I just also briefly wanna mention how well you capture Jordan's character. It's just.. so right. I mean she's different, obviously, due to the situation; but you write her exactly as I imagine she'd be in those circomstances. With her patented sarcasm, crudeness and cheeky pretend-innocence. Just really well done )
Same goes for JD and Cox as well; especially JD.
And Jack, well, I should've mentioned this before, but kudo's to you, since you had to kind of invent his character, but it feels very believable, that Cox' son would've turned out to be that way, a beautiful mix between Cox, JD and Jordan! XD
RAAAWR! The ending! _ I was totally expecting to find it all out. To just.. have it all written out for me as explains everything to JD, and then... ! _
There always have to be bad guys with guns to spoil the easy way.
Which was not bad of course P On the contrary, it's good writing, since now I'm on the edge of my seat wanting to read on and find out what happens! Especially since ZOMG!Ben jumped in 8D
I might've squeeled a little.
Just a tiny bit.
Okay maybe a bit more.
Yay Ben 8D
Yay for saving JD's life.
That moment was... so tense O_O When he froze with the gun pointed at him. It was so.. real.. believable, and just super tense XD
Such good writing..
And I saved the biggest Zomg for last.
ZOMG PERRY'S GUN! 8D
I know you told me about it, and even had me make some drawings (which I now envision entirely different having read it in the story) but I was still superpsyched to see him use it! ;p
Can't wait to discover more awesome future technology, Perry-awesomenes, Jack-cuddling, Jordan-smirks, JD-confusion, Argyle-mystery, Ben-savingatthelastsecond and definitely more plot-revealing!
| Bells of Tomorrow chapter 19 . 10/16/2010
-waves- Me again! Okay, you probably already knew that, so how about I just shut up and continue reviewing your latest, mind-blowing installment. Deal? Deal.
Okay, now this next scene…oh dear Lord, I have so much love for this next scene, it’s not even funny. Actually, it’s *extremely* funny, which is one of the reasons I loved it so much. Besides it being hilarious (which it really, really was) there was just something so wonderfully heartwarming about it. That even in the midst of all the chaos going on around him, Dr. Cox – JD’s Dr. Cox – can still manage to make him feel better with a few words of uncomfortable assurance, even if the poor guy didn’t know who he was calling a bastard. Which, of course, leads me to my next point: I absolutely *loved* the irony that was Dr. Cox referring to his future counterpart as “naïve” and “100 percent bastard material.” Seriously, I could not stop grinning while reading Perry’s speech (which was extremely well done in its entirety, by the way). Honestly though, the whole concept of JD getting advice about the man he just yelled at from the same man himself was just *way* too bloody brilliant. (I also got a huge kick out of imagining a bleary eyed Dr. Cox rip back the privacy curtains the way he did in the beginning there. I don’t know why it was so easy to imagine – besides your wonderfully descriptive writing – or why the mental image made me laugh so hard, but it really did).
"Now get the hell out of here, Diana, so I can get some damn sleep."
That, Missy, really made me smile; and I think you know why. ;)
Now, of course, I must move onto the next scene, which prompts me to comment on the very first line in said transition: “Would I be crossing your proverbial line of morality if I shot your great uncle Argyle in the face?" I – love – Jordan. I know I’ve said this in a previous review, but your Jordan is definitely my favorite Jordan out there. You manage to capture her in such a way that embodies everything that makes her, well, her; including the person she is on the show itself. You never lose sight of her moral center, even when focusing on the aspects of Jordan’s personality that can make her a little hard to deal with, and when you *do* choose to make her somewhat vulnerable, you handle it in a way where she is still that strong woman we know and love, while also showing the audience that yes – Jordan *is* human; something that is, unfortunately, painfully easy to forget.
Of course, there was more to that scene than just Jordan, but the message behind her conversation with Jack; the concept that Argyle is *not* up to something. It's what’s frightening her most, and quite frankly, it’s frightening me. (Another tip of the hat to your writing skills). I’d love to sit here and say, “But Jordan can see the future. She’d know if Argyle was going to back stab them, she’d know, because her gift (or curse, depending on how one chooses to look at it) has never been wrong.” Yet, we know from a previous interlude that it *has* been wrong once before. That, of course, draws us to two different conclusions: Either Jordan’s gift is right in that she hasn’t seen a vision of Jack’s great uncle doing something malicious, or her gift has chosen now to re-wire itself yet again, leaving her blind to what Argyle is really up to. It’s a frightening proposition; the latter of those two ideas, but for now, all I can really do is cross my fingers and hope that I’m wrong…
Of course, now we get to the last scene; one that starts out beautifully bittersweet, but ends in chaotic mayhem. I say it starts out bitter but beautiful due to JD’s quiet contemplation of Carla, and what her being involved in all of this so suddenly means for the both of them. JD realizing that her involvement can actually be a *good* thing was a relief. It is still tragic, of course, that she got pulled into all of this, but like JD realized later in the chapter, would she want it any other way? This is Carla, he’s talking about; *Carla.* The most mothering, “What’s your secret?”, proudest lioness of them all. I think, had it been left up to her, her need to know what was really going on would have outweighed whatever desire she had for ignorant bliss. And of course, like JD noted, the two of them don’t have to be alone in all of this now. They have each other to go to, no matter what, and like Carla has said from day one, she will take care of JD. (That call back to the pilot with her saying, “Carla will take care of you,” made my heart melt, by the way. I couldn’t help but reflect on their first meeting, much like JD had, and how much simpler their lives were back then. The callback was a great one, but the air of bittersweet nostalgia that accompanied it was most definitely there).
But now…now we get to the final part of the chapter; the part that made my blood run cold. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I seriously got chills the first time JD’s vision went red. I wanted *so badly* to dismiss the occurrence right along with him; I really, really did, but the Juvenile virus was coming to fruition, and unfortunately, it was also becoming undeniable. I mean, it was already undeniable, of course; we knew JD was infected, but for a while, what with everything *else* coming to fruition, it was almost becoming easy to forget, and then bam - it hit him; it hit the *audience.* The image of blood running from JD’s eyes will forever be lodged into my brain. With the virus hitting him the way it has now, it seems we’re getting closer and closer to how this whole saga began; going all the way back to your interest-grabbing preface. It both excites me and makes me very, very anxious to see how JD will survive this one. Of course, there is always the option that I don’t want to face; the option that he won’t. But I’m going to cross my fingers and knock on wood and do all those crazy little things that I never really believed in in the first place, because the last thing I want to see is JD (or any of the main characters, to be honest) leave this story before it even ends. What I will say, however, is that whatever you have planned for this story – for us – is going to be just as, if not more so, mind blowing than this ride already has been, and that is something I am very much looking forward to; no matter what route you end up taking.
That being said, I will finally wrap up this novel-esque review, but not before reiterating how much I love both you and this story. You've yet to disappoint me, and quite frankly, I can't imagine you ever doing so.
Until next time!
| Bells of Tomorrow chapter 19 . 10/15/2010
Before I get into anything here, I want to give you a heads up and say that I wrote my review for your chapter in a separate document, since yes, it really was that long. When I went to copy & paste the sucker, the review limit cut me off for the very same reason I typed it up separately, something that's never happened to me before. (Though if memory serves, has happened to you. ;)) That being said, you're going to be getting this review in two parts. Part 1 starting riiiight abooout...now:
My night – a very quiet, almost disturbing night – has just become wonderfully and irrevocably better. I’ve missed this story a great deal, as I’m sure you already know, but please don’t think that your four month hiatus has weakened your skills as a writer or this story’s plot, characters, and all around epicness. It is still the amazing “My Trigger” that I’ve become way too involved in, as a reader, and you are still the same writer who I have a deep amount of respect and admiration for.
That being said, I’m sure it comes as no surprise when I say how much I truly enjoyed this chapter. I want more than anything to delve right into the way it ended, but I will do my best to backtrack and comment on the events of this newest installment in chronological order.
First, we have Perry, sitting on the roof and simmering in his guilt (all while, unbeknownst to him, JD is doing the same thing several floors below). I won’t lie to you – when Perry started to remember the words from a man in his memory, I really wasn’t expecting it to be JD. I thought, perhaps, you were introducing a new character via Percival’s thoughts, but when it turned out to be JD – *his* JD – I really didn’t know what to feel other than, well, grieved. I guess, in the end, I felt the same thing that Perry felt; the horrible irony that the man in his memory – the one who he trusted without question – was the same man he had just finished shunning. Like JD (later in the chapter, anyway) I wasn’t mad at Dr. Cox anymore. I can see why he felt the way he felt, though I can completely understand his guilt over the matter as well. I suppose it’s easy for us, as the readers, because I can say the same thing for JD (understanding why he bit back at Perry and why he’s now feeling guilty for that too). We know how those two really feel and that they in no way set out to be malicious, which makes it all the more painful when they end up clashing, because you want to jump right through the computer screen and force them to just sit down, take a breath, and talk it out, damn it! But unfortunately, that idea fits under the category of, “Physical impossibility.”
Another thing I loved about that scene was this bit here: “In that moment, he felt every bit of his age, while every fibre of his being longed for the simple days. The days before any of this had ever happened—back when it was just him, his patients, and the bastard-coated bastards with bastard-fucking-filling that occupied the other 98% of the world.” I know I’ve mentioned this in past reviews, but every mention of their past life really tugs at my heart, even when it’s laced in humor. As much as I love your humor in all of this, since it’s quite a challenge to pull off in the midst of a dark story like the one you’re writing here, what I loved about Perry’s contemplation was that there was no humor whatsoever. It was just raw, bitter, anger – the kind you would expect anybody, especially Perry, to feel after everything he’s been through. He wasn’t even pretending that it didn’t bother him, wasn’t even attempting to hide the fact that he missed his former life as a doctor. The honesty behind his thoughts was refreshing, albeit painful to read.
Of course, I loved all his musings about The Harbinger. My interest is even more peeked than I thought possible, especially given how heightened it already was, but the more he talks of what the Harbinger’s real plans are, the more interested (and anxious) I become.
Another thing I must mention about that scene, before moving onto the next one, is this line here: “He shut his scarred eyes and tilted his head up to the sun, feeling its soft warmth press against his face like a kiss he didn't deserve.” There was something so horribly beautiful about that line. The words that you chose to describe that moment were stunning, and yet what grieved me so much was the idea that Perry thought he didn’t deserve that kind of warmth; that kind of comfort. It’s a normal thing for one to think when feeling as guilty as he was feeling, but it’s sad to read because, good God, that man has been through so damn much, and you want so badly for him to get some kind of comfort. So when he finds it and doesn’t think he deserves it, it’s just…sad.
Of course, now we come to JD, who also can’t help but simmer in his guilt. It’s not too surprising that JD felt guilty after how he reacted to Perry’s comment about not trusting him, but what *was* surprising, at least to me, was the thought that hit him when the guilt finally settled in: “What had he done? He'd insulted the intelligence and the integrity of a war veteran, that's what.” It wasn’t just guilt over insulting Perry – his mentor, guide, and hopefully friend – that bothered JD. It was the complete lack of respect he showed for the man who, in his eyes, deserves every ounce of respect imaginable. I really liked the take you took on that one, since it would have been easy to have JD’s guilt focus only on the fact that it was Perry who he had yelled at.
Okay, I'm going to cut myself off there in order to move on to the next review, since I don't want to have to cut an actual paragraph in half, which I'm afraid will happen if I continue any further. So without further ado, to the next review of chapter 19!
P.S. - The music that accompanies, "To the Bat Cave!" from the old Batman just completely flooded my memory when saying that. You probably didn't need to know that, but I thought I'd share, all the same. ;)
| mj13 chapter 19 . 10/12/2010
brilliant stuff. this story is so deep and it never ceases to amaze me. You're evil for leaving a cliffhanger. But I do have a question.. Have you ever watched Fringe? It's a sci-fi tv show and since this is a sci-fi story I didn't know if you were into that kind of stuff. If you don't watch it I highly recommend it. It's awesome! But yeah, great chapter and I hope you update soon!
| EliH2 chapter 19 . 10/10/2010
Yeah! I was afraid this might be a dead story that I had found and loved. But its not! Despite the hiatus, it seems to have picked up perfectly from where you left off, the characterization is wonderful. As for the massive advancing of the plot in this chapter- O.O I mean, I figured JD would get sick, what with the preface and all, but, dramatic much? In a good way. I loved it. I also loved the musing that goes on in this chapter. From JD on Carla, Jordan, the Dr. Coxs. From Perry on JD. Altogether fantastic. My only bit of advice is... well. I'm drawing a blank. I honestly don't have any idea how you could improve this unless you get a major motion picture deal and we could see all of this along with massively cool special effects.
| Cora Cox chapter 18 . 9/15/2010
thank you so much for writing this story
it might just be the best one i have ever read(and i go through books re-heally quickly)
's character seems so real and so perfect a stayed up last night reading it( he's my favorite in scrubs and your story)
And Jack really feels like Perry and Jordan's son
Scrubs is my favorite tv show and i think i have seen every episode( except maybe some of season 9 it wasn't that great but it was still scrubs)
you need to publish the next chapter so i can see what happens, the suspense is killing me
also when i heard that you were going writing the sequel to my trigger and that it included wolves
i swear i almost exploded
besides maybe dragons, wolves and scrubs are my favorite things in the world.
not ever in my wildest fantasy(yes i fantasize like J.D.) that these 2 things wold be combined(except that time the janitor tried to get that wolf to attack J.D., but it just attacked him instead.
ypu are already sound like a person i would be friends with
again thanks, 3 u (and wolves, but not in a creepy way)
| Jericho.NightSurgeon chapter 6 . 9/1/2010
Yay! I'm so glad is alright D
That rapid tissue generating stuff is really cool, love that it has drawbacks. Has a nice balance.
And it was just so witty they way it was like a segway for JD to ask about Jordan's drawback, it was brilliant!
I was eating a bag of frosties while reading this and I just mindlessly went through the whole thing, the writing was just so incredibly engaging; it's hard to stop reading. And the way you draw me in.. very well described imagery.
And you always write little trivial bits that aren't important, but really flesh out the reality of the characters and the story; you make it so believable.
Just one thing I wanted to say, that made me just a teensie bit disappointed, I was really looking forward to Turk's reaction to seeing JD so beat up; it sounded like you were leading up to it, but then he said "Jocelyn?" and realised it was . Just wanted to say I love me some brotherly bear love!
But all in all it's all brilliantly written, and the building tension is killing me!
| Jericho.NightSurgeon chapter 5 . 7/23/2010
Whaa what can I say XD
First of all, I keep mentioning this, but no matter how dramatic the storyline gets, you always manage to stay true to the original genre of the show,
your witty comments just make me laugh all the time, and I just LOVE the hilarious imagery you use, and the unexpected comedic occurances.
But next to that, I get so incredible immersed by the reality of it all. Meaning that everything you write feels just so very real.
It's never easy to imagine how different people with different personalities to your own react to certain situations.
Some writers either use themselves as reference ("what would I do?") and it end up making all characters feel the same,
or there are the ones that always make their characters react the best way possible, which just leaves you with a bunch of Mary Sue's.
But you make their reactions and decisions feel so real, I love it, and it really does feel like I'm reading a professional novel.
Especially how JD was dealing with it all, how you openly doubt it to avoid making a fool out of yourself,
and at the same time you wanna believe it's true.. all very much into character.
My fav quote just has to be "Visiting from the future? That's not even possible. Not in the present, it isn't."
And I just have to mention how well you do JD's fantasies )
You're doing a really good job keeping everyone in character!3
And just to top off the love: Yay cameo!Janitor !
Can't wait to keep reading! But now I'm off to give you a big hug!
| Jesssss chapter 18 . 7/2/2010
Hello! I've been reading this whole story today and I just have to say that I really really like it. There's nothing that's confusing for me either. Mostly because you do such an excellent job at explaining things and then creating even more questions in the process. I'm dying to figure it all out myself but I'll be patient and I absolutely love the subtle emotions and all of the difficulties that everyone is going through. I have to agree with you on this last part and it is a long time coming for JD with this break and it's not like he's never called people out before either. That's all really. I just wanted to comment to let you know how much I love this story.
| EliH2 chapter 18 . 7/1/2010
I...this...hu! *brain explodes* This story is incredible. Fantastic. Terrific. Mind-blowingly amazing! It's a true testament to your skill as a writer that this all seems perfectly reasonable. I love the plot you've come up with, even if you are borrowing from other sources. (Which I can't honestly say one way or the other, as I'm not familiar with them). Future Perry and Jack are awesome. Jordan being some sort of seer is fascinating. And everything flows so well, and is so enthralling. I can't believe that I have some how managed to miss this story until just recently. My loss. I will from now on be a devoted reader. Update soon!
| Wow chapter 18 . 6/18/2010
Okay, JD's anger was NOT ooc, not at all. In fact, I was actually waiting for something like this to happen. Up until now, JD's seemed awfully accepting about this whole thing that he's been thrown into. He hasn't really exploded or gotten truly angry. And having the one person you look up to and care about call you a self-obsessed jackass and say that he can't trust you? That's GOT to hurt. And it was a perfect 'Trigger' (see what I did there? hahah, sorry I couldn't resist) for him to unleash that frustration.
Though it was also nice to see JD 'one-up' Cox as well. It kind of reiterates the fact that JD and Cox are more equals than just mentor-mentee. The fact that JD now has some leverage as well, and is able to spit Cox's words back at him and still make them sting that badly.
Also, despite myself, I ended up shouting, 'OWNED!' at JD's last dialogue to Cox.
PLEASE update soon! I absolutely love this story, it's so captivating and so well-written and well-thought-out. It hardly feels like fanfiction, it feels more like a novel. And every chapter always has me on the edge of my seat.
Oh, and can I say I love Jack? He's great, you really made him seem like Jordan's and Cox's son, but at the same time gave him enough personality to make him seem REAL, you know? And even though he's a kinda-sorta OC, he doesn't feel that way at all. He flows and fits so naturally into the story, it's fantastic. This coming from a person who hates 99% of all OCs.
So keep it up! And thanks for writing this, it's really a pleasure to read :)